
Recently someone asked me, "What coaching tools do you use?"
"Tools?" I asked, bewildered. "I avoid tests and assessments."
"No," she explained. "Listening skills?"
Well, I suppose I listen -- but I mostly listen to my own intuition. And I encourage clients to do the same.
Since I derive most of my life lessons from reading murder mysteries, I am reminded of a recent book by Marcia Muller: Listen to the silence. The heroine, Sharon McCone, turns her prodigious investigative talent to researching her own background. As she interviews family members, her significant other, also a heavy-duty detective, says, "Listen to the silence."
He meant, "When someone answers a question, don't just listen to what's said. Listen for the pauses, the silences in what they say."
As I listen to clients, I've decided that we need to listen to the messages sent by our bodies, our friends and family, and what some would call "the universe" -- our environment. As business people, we need to listen to our customers. We need to listen with great skepticism to advice.
While this idea may seem a little woo-wooish, here's an example. One day I received an email from a web designer who had landed on my website.
"You need help, desperately," she said. "Everything's wrong!"
Something didn't feel right about the message. Intuition works with knowledge, and I've learned to be skeptical of unsolicited guidance or advice. "You get what you pay for" tends to be all too true. So I thanked her politely and continued with business as usual. And I listened to clients who weren't web designers but who did like the site.
One day I applied for an affiliate program with a noted web designer -- someone who's often chosen to serve as a judge for web awards and contests.
"Interesting site," she said.
"Gee," I said, "everybody loves my site except designers and marketers."
"Ignore them," she said. "Your site's just fine. I should know."
This validation (vindication?) is rare, but reminded me that the best support systems encourage us to listen to our own world -- not their words. If you're researching a new career, and you get only negative messages, you need to pay attention.
Considering a move to a new location and find yourself feeling like, "I don't belong here?" Going to a big job interview and feeling that everything you say is coming out all wrong? Well, there's a reason.
There are times to heed well-meaning, unsolicited advice. When Tony Soprano says, "This game isn't for you," pay attention. When the police officer says, "Slow it down," that's a good idea too. But most of the time, listen for subtle messages from whatever crosses your path.
That's your own intuitive code. And don't let any words get in the way of the real message.
Learn to crack your own intuitive code.
For help with your next move, download Making the Big Move.
About The Author
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First step to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com.
"Ten secrets of mastering a major life change" mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com
Contact: cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294
AP - President-elect Barack Obama warned of dire and long-lasting consequences if Congress doesn't pump unprecedented dollars into the national economy, making an urgent pitch Thursday for his mammoth spending proposal in his first speech since the election.
AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs.
AP - The U.N. halted deliveries to the Gaza Strip on Thursday after gunfire from an Israeli tank killed an aid truck driver, and the threat of a wider conflict arose when militants in Lebanon fired rockets into northern Israel.
AP - Retailers reported dismal sales figures for December on Thursday as even Wal-Mart Stores Inc., one of the bright spots in the industry, finally buckled under the pressures of the deteriorating economy.
AP - Congress has officially declared Barack Obama the next President of the United States after tallying electoral college votes in a centuries old tradition.
AP - The number of people continuing to seek unemployment benefits has risen sharply, according to government data released Thursday, indicating that laid-off workers are having a harder time finding new jobs as the recession enters its second year.
AP - Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month.
AP - Microsoft Corp.'s next version of the Windows operating system is almost ready for prime time. That's one message Chief Executive Steve Ballmer delivered on the eve of the official opening of the International Consumer Electronics Show.
AP - John Travolta and family were expected to host a private memorial service Thursday for their son, 16-year-old Jett Travolta, at their gated-community home in central Florida.
AP - John Smoltz has reached preliminary agreement on a contract with the Boston Red Sox, who also agreed Thursday to a one-year contract with outfielder Rocco Baldelli.
Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama warned on Thursday that the U.S. economy could stay mired in recession for years without bold action and he urged lawmakers to work day and night to pass a massive stimulus plan.
Reuters - Palestinians faced even grimmer conditions in the Gaza Strip on Thursday after a U.N. aid agency halted work, saying its staff were at risk from Israeli forces fighting Hamas militants, after two drivers were killed.
Reuters - Wal-Mart Stores Inc and other top U.S. retailers delivered disappointing December same-store sales and profit warnings on Thursday, sparking fresh recession concerns that hit stock and currency markets.
Reuters - A search of accused swindler Bernard Madoff's office desk revealed he had signed checks totaling more than $173 million ready to be sent, U.S. prosecutors said in court papers on Thursday asking a judge to jail him.
Reuters - Russia said on Thursday it would restore gas supplies to Europe through Ukraine once international monitors were in place, but Moscow and Kiev remained at odds over the terms of any supervision.
Reuters - Economic weakness in Europe worsened and disappointing sales from Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, knocked financial markets lower on Thursday, strengthening the case for government stimulus and new rate cuts.
Reuters - India's Satyam Computer faces a crisis of "unimaginable proportions," its interim chief executive said a day after the chairman revealed profits had been falsely inflated for years.
AFP - Rockets fired into northern Israel from Lebanon on Thursday sparked a new military alert as Israeli jets carried out mass strikes on smuggling tunnels in Gaza.
AFP - Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Thursday said Moscow will resume gas supplies to Europe via Ukraine after it has struck an agreement with Ukraine on the transit, Russian news agencies reported.
Character is that which defines us; it's what people will remember about... Read More
If you can do anything in this time in your life what... Read More
Have you heard yourself or others say: "This has shown up 3... Read More
What's most astounding is that the vast majority of business people don't... Read More
Imagine there is an event that will take place in a town... Read More
Where does our motivation come from? What makes us want to strive... Read More
I've written this article specifically for individuals contemplating change with the idea... Read More
We are all different. We are all the same. Whereas you have... Read More
I would like you to give your full attention to this writing,... Read More
And the real sad part is that the people involved give in... Read More
I am a physicist by education, and a practical business entrepreneur by... Read More
When you begin to study feng shui, you quickly realize the importance... Read More
Truth To Live By:What truths do you live by? Are the truths... Read More
Lotus dakini gathers energy. When wanting and grasping hold sway The dakini... Read More
Are you looking for that "something" to give you the winning edge... Read More
For each of us, the universe is different. A homeless man may... Read More
If you are not manifesting success and prosperity or whatever else you... Read More
Using affirmations can be a very powerful tool. You can use it... Read More
What will it cost you if you don't do it?Everyone has a... Read More
In Twelve Step meetings, it's traditional to groan when someone says, "Let's... Read More
We almost all think we are masters of our own fate. While... Read More
I believe in myself, therefore, I have all that my heart desires.Rejection... Read More
You get what you attract ? with your thoughts, words, beliefs, actions... Read More
Our people have no character" is acknowledged universally, at home and abroad,... Read More
If you read personal growth or self-help books at all, including mine,... Read More
What do you do when circumstances seem out of control? What's the... Read More
So, the thing is? we reap what we sow.A few weeks ago,... Read More
Have you ever bought a new car and then afterwards you started... Read More
I bet you're like me - you want results now, without having... Read More
There are times in life when we wish to create something. Perhaps... Read More
Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw into a... Read More
What is a values-based life? A values-based life is a self-capable life... Read More
If you want to learn how to be a good conversationalist, a... Read More
Your Access to AchievementA few years ago I read the book, Think... Read More
Have you ever been really sure about something, only to find out... Read More
This is the third of seven articles in our continuing series on... Read More
A Seventeenth Century Samurai maxim states:"A man who has attained mastery of... Read More
I'd like to share a story with you about two interesting people... Read More
Disclaimer: All the thoughts expressed are my views only! Your perception might... Read More
"Your good name and your reputation are EVERYTHING! ? Protect them at... Read More
You've heard me talk in previous articles about Deliberate attraction. The Law... Read More
Have you been in that "black hole?" That is the place that... Read More
The key to a successful life lies in following your passions. When... Read More
Many scientific studies have demonstrated the reality of intuition for getting information... Read More
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what... Read More
Being a child of the Seventies I'm a real fan of the... Read More
There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in order to... Read More
In a relationship, your ability to understand and respond to the other... Read More
Imagine trying to drive at night in your car with windows covered... Read More
We live in a very busy age with many pressures and demands... Read More
If you find yourself in a difficult situation, don't continue doing what... Read More
Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw into a... Read More
There are several books now that discuss the power of thought and... Read More
You only have to look around you at your friends, family and... Read More
In Twelve Step meetings, it's traditional to groan when someone says, "Let's... Read More
One of the first and foremost things to do to change your... Read More
Good luck was not part of my life for many years until;... Read More
"You must be willing to do the things today others won't do,... Read More
Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others to transform their lives.... Read More
If you've done any reading on the subject of marketing, you've certainly... Read More
If you had to write an annual appraisal on yourself how would... Read More
It is extremely important that people have a good first impression of... Read More
Here is a non-scientific, but fun way to see which style you... Read More
After years of terrorizing the countryside, hunting deer, poaching livestock, killing game,... Read More
We are often asked to tell our life-story. I wasn't aware of... Read More
When our clients are exposed to our company, they are often impressed... Read More
Why communication through body language and appropriate language are crucial to networking... Read More
That which you desire to remove from your life is a blessing... Read More
Last month I was on another adventure, fishing Dog Lake in Northern... Read More
I bet you're like me - you want results now, without having... Read More
Have you ever bought a new car and then afterwards you started... Read More
Invisible braces, like Invisalign, are most popular among adults. For children and... Read More
This article was written for one purpose:To explain to you as effectively... Read More
Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break the fall. I've got... Read More
Three Secrets to Effective Affirmations:1 Drive your Physiology - by this I... Read More
So much life conditioning inhibits the brilliance that is in you. Are... Read More
Over half of all adults identify themselves as shy. Shyness can get... Read More
"Within you is the power to change your life"Lately I've been doing... Read More
What is a values-based life? A values-based life is a self-capable life... Read More
Very often when you are talking to people what you really want... Read More
While engaging in conversations with friends and co-workers, how often do you... Read More
If you are looking for a way to improve your social skills,... Read More
Underearning is a process of not really making enough to support oneself... Read More
When I was a kid sitting in school I can remember looking... Read More
Communication, which occupies approximately 70% of our waking hours, is what many... Read More
In the days of the mighty sailing ships, when brave souls voyaged... Read More
1. Get enough sleep.Sleep deprivation is the most common cause of low... Read More
You are what you think;The experts say we barely use 10% of... Read More
Bigger is better. Isn't that the American dream?Why buy a road-hogging, critter-squishing,... Read More
What do people want most in the world? What is the most... Read More
Character is that which defines us; it's what people will remember about... Read More
The pupils of the eyes will dilate (enlarge) up to four times... Read More
Clarity!If there is such a thing as a "secret" to success in... Read More
Ever been in a meeting with something important to say and remained... Read More
Attraction Attraction |