Intuition: Your Best Moving Guide

Recently someone asked me, "What coaching tools do you use?"

"Tools?" I asked, bewildered. "I avoid tests and assessments."

"No," she explained. "Listening skills?"

Well, I suppose I listen -- but I mostly listen to my own intuition. And I encourage clients to do the same.

Since I derive most of my life lessons from reading murder mysteries, I am reminded of a recent book by Marcia Muller: Listen to the silence. The heroine, Sharon McCone, turns her prodigious investigative talent to researching her own background. As she interviews family members, her significant other, also a heavy-duty detective, says, "Listen to the silence."

He meant, "When someone answers a question, don't just listen to what's said. Listen for the pauses, the silences in what they say."

As I listen to clients, I've decided that we need to listen to the messages sent by our bodies, our friends and family, and what some would call "the universe" -- our environment. As business people, we need to listen to our customers. We need to listen with great skepticism to advice.

While this idea may seem a little woo-wooish, here's an example. One day I received an email from a web designer who had landed on my website.

"You need help, desperately," she said. "Everything's wrong!"

Something didn't feel right about the message. Intuition works with knowledge, and I've learned to be skeptical of unsolicited guidance or advice. "You get what you pay for" tends to be all too true. So I thanked her politely and continued with business as usual. And I listened to clients who weren't web designers but who did like the site.

One day I applied for an affiliate program with a noted web designer -- someone who's often chosen to serve as a judge for web awards and contests.

"Interesting site," she said.

"Gee," I said, "everybody loves my site except designers and marketers."

"Ignore them," she said. "Your site's just fine. I should know."

This validation (vindication?) is rare, but reminded me that the best support systems encourage us to listen to our own world -- not their words. If you're researching a new career, and you get only negative messages, you need to pay attention.

Considering a move to a new location and find yourself feeling like, "I don't belong here?" Going to a big job interview and feeling that everything you say is coming out all wrong? Well, there's a reason.

There are times to heed well-meaning, unsolicited advice. When Tony Soprano says, "This game isn't for you," pay attention. When the police officer says, "Slow it down," that's a good idea too. But most of the time, listen for subtle messages from whatever crosses your path.

That's your own intuitive code. And don't let any words get in the way of the real message.

Learn to crack your own intuitive code.

For help with your next move, download Making the Big Move.

About The Author

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First step to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com.

"Ten secrets of mastering a major life change" mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com

Contact: cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294

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President-elect Barack Obama speaks about the economy at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va.,  Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - President-elect Barack Obama warned of dire and long-lasting consequences if Congress doesn't pump unprecedented dollars into the national economy, making an urgent pitch Thursday for his mammoth spending proposal in his first speech since the election.



Senate Budget Committee Chairman Sen. Kent Conrad, D-N.D., right, accompanied by House Budget Committee Chairman Rep John Spratt, D-S.C., left, takes part in a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington,  Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs.



Palestinians throw stones at an Israeli watch-tower during a protest against Israel's offensive in Gaza, in the West Bank town of Bethlehem, Thursday Jan. 8, 2009. Militants in Lebanon fired at least three rockets into northern Israel on Thursday, ripping through a crowded nursing home and threatening to open a new front for the Jewish state as it pushed forward with a bloody offensive in the Gaza Strip that has killed about 700 people. (AP Photo/Nasser Shiyoukhi)AP - The U.N. halted deliveries to the Gaza Strip on Thursday after gunfire from an Israeli tank killed an aid truck driver, and the threat of a wider conflict arose when militants in Lebanon fired rockets into northern Israel.



Pedestrians walk past Generations Menswear on 8th Ave. in New York Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Retailers are reporting dismal sales for December, confirming fears that the holiday season was the weakest in four decades.  (AP Photo/Craig Ruttle)AP - Retailers reported dismal sales figures for December on Thursday as even Wal-Mart Stores Inc., one of the bright spots in the industry, finally buckled under the pressures of the deteriorating economy.



President-elect Barack Obama makes remarks on the nations economy, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - Congress has officially declared Barack Obama the next President of the United States after tallying electoral college votes in a centuries old tradition.



A sign instructs job seekers at the California Employment Development Department in Sunnyvale, Calif., Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009. The country lost nearly 2 million jobs through November and more bad news is expected this week when the government releases data on weekly jobless claims and December unemployment. No matter how bad those numbers are, and economists expect at least another 500,000 jobs were lost last month, the pain is stretching into 2009.  (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)AP - The number of people continuing to seek unemployment benefits has risen sharply, according to government data released Thursday, indicating that laid-off workers are having a harder time finding new jobs as the recession enters its second year.



In this Jan. 5, 2009 file photo, disgraced financier Bernard Madoff leaves U.S. District Court in Manhattan after a bail hearing in New York. A defense lawyer for Bernard Madoff is expected to submit written arguments Wednesday to a judge who is probing whether the disgraced Wall Street financier should be jailed before trial. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens, File)AP - Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month.



Microsoft Corp. CEO Steve Ballmer delivers the keynote address Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, at the International Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)AP - Microsoft Corp.'s next version of the Windows operating system is almost ready for prime time. That's one message Chief Executive Steve Ballmer delivered on the eve of the official opening of the International Consumer Electronics Show.



Maureen O'Conner places a vase of flowers and a sign by the entrance to the Jumbolair Aviation Estates where actor John Travolta and his family  live Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009 near Ocala, Fla., while Roberta Arnes, right, pays her respects to the Travolta family for the lose of their son.  The Travolta family is back in their home in the complex after returning from the Bahamas, where their 16-year-old son, Jett, died at the family vacation home in Grand Bahama. (AP Photo/Phil Sandlin)AP - John Travolta and family were expected to host a private memorial service Thursday for their son, 16-year-old Jett Travolta, at their gated-community home in central Florida.



This Sept. 7, 2007 file photo shows Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz tipping his hat to fans as he leaves the game after giving up a hit to Washington Nationals' Ronnie Belliard, ending Smoltz's bid for a no-hitter, during the eighth inning of a baseball game at Turner Field in Atlanta. Smoltz has reached a preliminary agreement on a contract with the Boston Red Sox, a stunning end to his long career with the Atlanta Braves. The deal was expected to be finalized later Thursday Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Gregory Smith, File)AP - John Smoltz has reached preliminary agreement on a contract with the Boston Red Sox, who also agreed Thursday to a one-year contract with outfielder Rocco Baldelli.



President-elect Barack Obama arrives with Nancy Killefer, his appointee as White House Chief Performance Officer, during a news conference at his transition office in Washington, January 7, 2009. (Jason Reed/Reuters)Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama warned on Thursday that the U.S. economy could stay mired in recession for years without bold action and he urged lawmakers to work day and night to pass a massive stimulus plan.



A Palestinian boy looks at the al-Noor mosque destroyed after an Israeli air strike in Gaza January 8, 2009. (Mohammed Salem/Reuters)Reuters - Palestinians faced even grimmer conditions in the Gaza Strip on Thursday after a U.N. aid agency halted work, saying its staff were at risk from Israeli forces fighting Hamas militants, after two drivers were killed.



A customer shops at a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Rogers, Arkansas, June 5, 2008. (Jessica Rinaldi/Reuters)Reuters - Wal-Mart Stores Inc and other top U.S. retailers delivered disappointing December same-store sales and profit warnings on Thursday, sparking fresh recession concerns that hit stock and currency markets.



Bernard Madoff is escorted from Federal Court in New York January 5, 2009. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)Reuters - A search of accused swindler Bernard Madoff's office desk revealed he had signed checks totaling more than $173 million ready to be sent, U.S. prosecutors said in court papers on Thursday asking a judge to jail him.



Oleh Dubyna, the head of Ukrainian state energy firm Naftogaz, arrives at the European parliament Foreign Affairs Committee in Brussels January 8, 2009. (Francois Lenoir/Reuters)Reuters - Russia said on Thursday it would restore gas supplies to Europe through Ukraine once international monitors were in place, but Moscow and Kiev remained at odds over the terms of any supervision.



People walk past the Bank of England in central London, January 8, 2009. (Rob Bodman/Reuters)Reuters - Economic weakness in Europe worsened and disappointing sales from Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, knocked financial markets lower on Thursday, strengthening the case for government stimulus and new rate cuts.



Reuters - A criminal probe into the CIA's destruction of videotapes showing harsh interrogations of terrorism suspects is almost finished, court papers made public this week show.

A man looks at a large screen displaying India's benchmark share index on the facade of the Bombay Stock Exchange building in Mumbai, January 7, 2009. (Punit Paranjpe/Reuters)Reuters - India's Satyam Computer faces a crisis of "unimaginable proportions," its interim chief executive said a day after the chairman revealed profits had been falsely inflated for years.



Palestinian youth inspect a destroyed kindergarten following an Israeli air strike overnight in Gaza City. Rockets fired into northern Israel from Lebanon have sparked a new military alert as Israeli jets carried out mass strikes on smuggling tunnels in Gaza.(AFP/Mahmud Hams)AFP - Rockets fired into northern Israel from Lebanon on Thursday sparked a new military alert as Israeli jets carried out mass strikes on smuggling tunnels in Gaza.



A woman looks at a pressure gauge on a gas pipe in the Ukrainian city of Boyarka. Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Thursday said Moscow will resume gas supplies to Europe via Ukraine after it has struck an agreement with Ukraine on the transit, Russian news agencies reported.(AFP/File/Sergei Supinsky)AFP - Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Thursday said Moscow will resume gas supplies to Europe via Ukraine after it has struck an agreement with Ukraine on the transit, Russian news agencies reported.




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