Speak Up!

Home
>
Attraction
>
Speak Up!

Ever been in a meeting with something important to say and remained silent? You may have felt the flush of the good idea and the rising adrenalin. You may have moved to the front of your seat and readied your body to speak...and then didn't. What stopped you?

Certainly there is wisdom in knowing when to speak and when not to. Knowing the politics of a situation or the time constraints, you may choose not to speak. Often, though, you may have a unique view, perspective, issue or concern that needs to be raised. That contribution would add a new dimension to the discussion or change the decision about to be made.

You may feel strongly about a new policy and your silence allows folks to think you agree. Is that the message you wish to send?

Recently I was involved in the creation of a new management team for a department of a public sector organization. This brought together four people who previously had felt that they were in a 'pecking order' and changed them into a cohesive decision-making team. Two of the four have strong opinions and are very comfortable expressing them. Two are very quiet. In forming the team, we discussed this dynamic. How are we each going to best contribute to the team? We talked about the possibility that the talkative two could overpower the silent two. In fact, they might even do the talking for them! Focusing on the fact that each person was hired because he or she is an expert in a distinct field, it was soon decided that each person's opinion was vital to good decision-making.

The two who are quiet are very competent as are the others. Increasing their level of comfort with adding their voices to the group was important. Two things were agreed upon: every person would speak on every issue and each person would take responsibility for doing so. One of the natural 'talkers' offered to ask the quiet two for their opinions. This seems like a good idea on the surface, however, as a rule, it is a poor idea.

Why is it a poor idea? Simple. If one person takes responsibility for the contributions of others there are two new kinds of control being encouraged. The 'talker' has control over when the others are asked for their opinions. The 'silent' could be waiting to be asked making their contribution the 'talkers' responsibility. Neither of these options are optimal.

The important piece is that each person understands that he or she was hired to contribute his or her expertise and experience to the team. It is the responsibility of the individual to contribute. For the talkers that is easy. In fact, it is enjoyable. For the quiet folks, two things seemed to be true. One of them only felt it necessary to contribute if she disagreed with the direction of the conversation. The other is very shy. What to do?

With some individual coaching for each team member, each began to monitor involvement in the meetings. For those for whom it was difficult, they undertook to at least say when they agreed or disagreed. For those for whom it was easy, they undertook to leave some airtime free. Often, it is a challenge to find a quiet moment to summon up the gumption to speak!

When you have something you feel is important to contribute to a meeting, formulate your thoughts, take a deep breath and jump in. Nothing life-threatening will happen. It's a little like learning to swim. The first few times you may get a mouthful of water and sputter a little. You may find yourself gasping for air. You may flail around a little, but, with practice, things even out and you make progress. Yes, it may feel awkward. Yes, you may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But, jump in. You are there to offer your skills and learning. It is your responsibility.

A tip or two about handling those who only value the sound of their own voices may be in order. They have to take a breath sometime. Be ready to step in and take that opportunity.

AGREE WITH THEM. Beginning with 'I agree with _________ part of your opinion..." and go on to offer your thoughts. Being agreed with, even in part, will encourage them to listen to you.

USE POSITIVE LANGUAGE. Tell folks what you think would be best and why rather than telling them what is wrong with their ideas. Again, you may capture their attention.

HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR IDEAS. Work within yourself to clarify your thoughts prior to the meeting. You may even make some notes. Being prepared will make it more likely that you will have some energy behind your points of view and, therefore, be more likely to express them.

BE BRIEF AND SPECIFIC. This is a great tip for everyone at the meeting. Stay on the topic and the point. Give your thoughts and reasons in short sentences, then stop and let others respond. This is the way business gets done! Who wants interminable meetings?

Speak up! You have the right and responsibility to do so.

About The Author

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, speaks, coaches & conducts seminars for organizations who want to motivate their people, and for individuals who want to achieve their dreams. For further articles, free ezines, upcoming teleseminars and booking information, visit http://www.OptimizeLifeNow.com today. For permission to reprint this article, please contact mailto:Jane@OptimizeLifeNow.com

RS@OptimizeLifeNow.com

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Obama warns of dire consequences without stimulus (AP)

AP - President-elect Barack Obama warned of dire and long-lasting consequences if Congress doesn't pump unprecedented dollars into the national economy, making an urgent pitch Thursday for his mammoth spending proposal in his first speech since the election.

Obama tax plan runs into opposition in Senate (AP)

AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts are running into opposition from senators in his own party who say they won't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs.

UN halts Gaza aid shipments, cites Israeli attacks (AP)

AP - The U.N. halted deliveries to the Gaza Strip on Thursday after gunfire from an Israeli tank killed an aid truck driver, and the threat of a wider conflict arose when militants in Lebanon fired rockets into northern Israel.

Retailers report dismal December sales (AP)

AP - Retailers reported dismal sales figures for December on Thursday as even Wal-Mart Stores Inc., one of the bright spots in the industry, finally buckled under the pressures of the deteriorating economy.

Prosecutors: Madoff was ready to send out $173M (AP)

AP - Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month.

Continuing jobless claims rise more than expected (AP)

AP - The number of people continuing to seek unemployment benefits has risen sharply, according to government data released Thursday, indicating that laid-off workers are having a harder time finding new jobs as the recession enters its second year.

Shooting by Oakland, Calif., officer sparks anger (AP)

AP - Mayor Ron Dellums urged residents to remain calm after protests turned violent in the fatal shooting of an unarmed black man by a transit police officer.

Microsoft's Ballmer: Windows 7 is nearly final (AP)

AP - Microsoft Corp.'s next version of the Windows operating system is almost ready for prime time. That's one message Chief Executive Steve Ballmer delivered on the eve of the official opening of the International Consumer Electronics Show.

Private memorial set for Travolta's son in Fla. (AP)

AP - John Travolta and family were expected to host a private memorial service Thursday for their son, 16-year-old Jett Travolta, at their gated-community home in central Florida.

AP source: Smoltz agrees to deal with Boston (AP)

AP - John Smoltz has reached preliminary agreement on a contract with the Boston Red Sox, who also agreed Thursday to a one-year contract with outfielder Rocco Baldelli.

Obama pushes stimulus and warns on recession (Reuters)

Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama sought to rally support on Thursday for a massive fiscal stimulus package by warning that the United States could remain mired in recession for years without bold action.

U.N. agency halts work in Gaza as death toll tops 750 (Reuters)

Reuters - Palestinians faced even grimmer conditions in the Gaza Strip on Thursday after a U.N. aid agency halted work, saying its staff were at risk from Israeli forces fighting Hamas militants, after two drivers were killed.

Jobless rolls at 26-year high, retail sales weak (Reuters)

Reuters - Unemployment benefit rolls swelled to a 26-year high in the last week of December, data showed on Thursday, while retailers, including market leader Wal-Mart, reported poor sales as the year-long economic slump deepened.

U.S. says Madoff had checks ready, seeks jail (Reuters)

Reuters - A search of accused swindler Bernard Madoff's office desk revealed he had signed checks totaling more than $173 million ready to be sent, U.S. prosecutors said in court papers on Thursday asking a judge to jail him.

Probe of CIA video destruction winding down (Reuters)

Reuters - A criminal probe into the CIA's destruction of videotapes showing harsh interrogations of terrorism suspects is almost finished, court papers made public this week show.

North Korea may see no U.S. nuclear threat: adviser (Reuters)

Reuters - North Korea may have begun developing nuclear arms after deciding the United States was unlikely to use nuclear weapons to eliminate its development program, a senior Pentagon adviser said on Thursday.

Ex-Senator Craig accepts sex sting guilty plea (Reuters)

Reuters - Former Sen. Larry Craig has ended his effort to void the guilty plea he made following his 2007 arrest in a men's toilet sex-sting operation, his lawyer said on Thursday.

Global economic woes deepen, more action urged (Reuters)

Reuters - Bleak economic data in Europe and disappointing December retail sales figures in the United States unsettled financial markets on Thursday, strengthening the case for more government stimulus and encouraging rate cuts.

Rocket attack jolts Israel as Gaza war blazes on (AFP)

AFP - Rockets fired into northern Israel from Lebanon on Thursday sparked a new military alert as Israeli jets carried out mass strikes on smuggling tunnels in Gaza.

Russia to restart Europe gas after transit deal: Medvedev (AFP)

AFP - Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Thursday said Moscow will resume gas supplies to Europe via Ukraine after it has struck an agreement with Ukraine on the transit, Russian news agencies reported.

Speak Up!

Attraction Attraction