
For any inner-directed individual, much of life feels like you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. By forcing them to fit together, the natural edge of the square-peg is shaved off. That natural edge includes all your best traits, such as your intuition, creativity and superb listening skills as well as many other characteristics that make you a joy to be with and know.
What's an "innie" (introvert or highly sensitive person) to do? Here is a 4-step self-generating cycle that preserves your natural edge:
1) Integrity: Where are your thoughts, actions or words at odds with your best self? How are you trying to adapt or adjust to fit into situations? Whose expectations are you trying to meet? Find what doesn't fit for you, describe it well and write it down.
2) Awareness: What is this behavior costing you? How does it hold you back: in results? In connection with other people? In extra energy spent to live up to something? Find as many consequences as you can. Record them with your description.
Now you can see the issue completely right in front of you. It is easier to deal with once it is out of you and you can see it objectively.
3) Self-acceptance: Which one nugget about yourself could you accept that would make this situation disappear completely? It doesn't have to be something huge. Just a morsel that links to the prior two steps. What would it take to own that nugget inwardly at first and then outwardly and proudly? I guarantee that once you can see it and enjoy its truth for you, life gets a lot easier!
If you've made it completely through these steps, you are ready to go to the fourth and final step. If confusion or uncertainty still exists, marinate a little longer in the first three steps, especially self-acceptance.
4) Clear intention followed by focused action: Now is the time to modify your thoughts, actions and words for a positive outcome! You know exactly what to do now. It is compelling and you act without hesitation. You alter the way you show up in the world, which in turn modifies the response you get.
This is a self-generating process, because as you feel the high you get from step four, you are eager about going back to the start and do it once more around a new issue. It gives you the thrill to keep going!
Honor your own "square-peggedness" by being who you truly are! It will transform your life into one of ease and joy.
Sarah Dolliver is a catalyst and guide for inner-directed individuals (those who focus inward to restore). As founder and host of InnerVantage, she partners with "innies" to educate, inspire and empower them to share their gifts, talents and strengths with the world. Visit her online at http://www.InnerVantage.com
Sarah holds a Bachelor of Science in Management (Bentley College, Waltham, MA) and is a graduate of Coach U and The Graduate School of Coaching from CoachVille.
AP - President-elect Barack Obama urged Congress Thursday to work with him "day and night, on weekends if necessary" to approve the largest taxpayer-funded stimulus ever, warning in almost apocalyptic terms that a dire economic future was certain without it.
AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs.
AP - The U.N. and the Red Cross curtailed aid shipments in the Gaza Strip on Thursday after accusing Israeli forces of firing on their drivers, killing one. The threat of a wider conflict arose when militants in Lebanon fired two rockets into northern Israel.
AP - Retailers reported dismal sales figures for December on Thursday as even Wal-Mart Stores Inc., one of the bright spots in the industry, finally buckled under the pressures of the deteriorating economy.
AP - Barack Obama is officially the next president of the United States, Congress declared Thursday in fulfilling its centuries-old constitutional duty to certify and tally the electoral college vote from each state.
AP - Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month.
AP - John Travolta and his family were expected to host a private memorial service Thursday for their son, 16-year-old Jett Travolta, at their home in a central Florida gated community.
AP - After more than two decades with the Braves, John Smoltz appears likely to finish his stellar career wearing a different uniform. In a stunning end to one of baseball's longest runs, Smoltz reached preliminary agreement on a contract with the Boston Red Sox after failing to work out a deal to return for his 22nd season with the Braves.
Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama warned on Thursday that the U.S. economy could stay mired in recession for years without bold action and he urged lawmakers to work day and night to pass a massive stimulus plan.
Reuters - Palestinians faced even grimmer conditions in the Gaza Strip on Thursday after a U.N. aid agency halted work, saying its staff were at risk from Israeli forces fighting Hamas militants, after two drivers were killed.
Reuters - Wal-Mart Stores Inc and other top U.S. retailers delivered disappointing December same-store sales and profit warnings on Thursday, sparking fresh recession concerns that hit stock and currency markets.
Reuters - A search of accused swindler Bernard Madoff's office desk revealed he had signed checks totaling more than $173 million ready to be sent, U.S. prosecutors said in court papers on Thursday asking a judge to jail him.
Reuters - Russia said on Thursday it would restore gas supplies to Europe through Ukraine once international monitors were in place, but Moscow and Kiev remained at odds over the terms of any supervision.
Reuters - Economic weakness in Europe worsened and disappointing sales from Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, knocked financial markets lower on Thursday, strengthening the case for government stimulus and new rate cuts.
Reuters - India's Satyam Computer faces a crisis of "unimaginable proportions," its interim chief executive said a day after the chairman revealed profits had been falsely inflated for years.
AFP - The main UN Palestinian relief agency halted work in Gaza on Thursday after a driver was killed and the death toll from Israel's war on Hamas rose to more than 760 after dozens of bodies were found in the rubble.
AFP - EU-sponsored talks collapsed Thursday between Russia and Ukraine on resolving a gas dispute that has cut supplies to Europe in the midst of a bitterly cold winter, with Moscow blamed for the failure.
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Attraction Attraction |