Success Through Authenticity: Harness Your ?Innie? Natural Edge

For any inner-directed individual, much of life feels like you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. By forcing them to fit together, the natural edge of the square-peg is shaved off. That natural edge includes all your best traits, such as your intuition, creativity and superb listening skills as well as many other characteristics that make you a joy to be with and know.

What's an "innie" (introvert or highly sensitive person) to do? Here is a 4-step self-generating cycle that preserves your natural edge:

1) Integrity: Where are your thoughts, actions or words at odds with your best self? How are you trying to adapt or adjust to fit into situations? Whose expectations are you trying to meet? Find what doesn't fit for you, describe it well and write it down.

2) Awareness: What is this behavior costing you? How does it hold you back: in results? In connection with other people? In extra energy spent to live up to something? Find as many consequences as you can. Record them with your description.

Now you can see the issue completely right in front of you. It is easier to deal with once it is out of you and you can see it objectively.

3) Self-acceptance: Which one nugget about yourself could you accept that would make this situation disappear completely? It doesn't have to be something huge. Just a morsel that links to the prior two steps. What would it take to own that nugget inwardly at first and then outwardly and proudly? I guarantee that once you can see it and enjoy its truth for you, life gets a lot easier!

If you've made it completely through these steps, you are ready to go to the fourth and final step. If confusion or uncertainty still exists, marinate a little longer in the first three steps, especially self-acceptance.

4) Clear intention followed by focused action: Now is the time to modify your thoughts, actions and words for a positive outcome! You know exactly what to do now. It is compelling and you act without hesitation. You alter the way you show up in the world, which in turn modifies the response you get.

This is a self-generating process, because as you feel the high you get from step four, you are eager about going back to the start and do it once more around a new issue. It gives you the thrill to keep going!

Honor your own "square-peggedness" by being who you truly are! It will transform your life into one of ease and joy.

Sarah Dolliver is a catalyst and guide for inner-directed individuals (those who focus inward to restore). As founder and host of InnerVantage, she partners with "innies" to educate, inspire and empower them to share their gifts, talents and strengths with the world. Visit her online at http://www.InnerVantage.com

Sarah holds a Bachelor of Science in Management (Bentley College, Waltham, MA) and is a graduate of Coach U and The Graduate School of Coaching from CoachVille.

In The News:

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President-elect Barack Obama speaks about the economy at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va.,  Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - President-elect Barack Obama urged Congress Thursday to work with him "day and night, on weekends if necessary" to approve the largest taxpayer-funded stimulus ever, warning in almost apocalyptic terms that a dire economic future was certain without it.



Senate Budget Committee Chairman Sen. Kent Conrad, D-N.D., right, accompanied by House Budget Committee Chairman Rep John Spratt, D-S.C., left, takes part in a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington,  Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs.



Fire and smoke is seen from Israeli miltary operations in Gaza City, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. Lebanese militants fired at least three rockets into northern Israel early Thursday, ripping through a crowded nursing home and threatening to open a new front for the Jewish state as it pushed forward with a bloody offensive in the Gaza Strip that has killed nearly 700 people. (AP Photo/Abdel Kareem Hana)AP - The U.N. and the Red Cross curtailed aid shipments in the Gaza Strip on Thursday after accusing Israeli forces of firing on their drivers, killing one. The threat of a wider conflict arose when militants in Lebanon fired two rockets into northern Israel.



Pedestrians walk past Generations Menswear on 8th Ave. in New York Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Retailers are reporting dismal sales for December, confirming fears that the holiday season was the weakest in four decades.  (AP Photo/Craig Ruttle)AP - Retailers reported dismal sales figures for December on Thursday as even Wal-Mart Stores Inc., one of the bright spots in the industry, finally buckled under the pressures of the deteriorating economy.



President-elect Barack Obama makes remarks on the nations economy, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - Barack Obama is officially the next president of the United States, Congress declared Thursday in fulfilling its centuries-old constitutional duty to certify and tally the electoral college vote from each state.



AP - President-elect Barack Obama is urging Congress to postpone the Feb. 17 switch from analog to digital television broadcasting.

In this Jan. 5, 2009 file photo, disgraced financier Bernard Madoff leaves U.S. District Court in Manhattan after a bail hearing in New York. A defense lawyer for Bernard Madoff is expected to submit written arguments Wednesday to a judge who is probing whether the disgraced Wall Street financier should be jailed before trial. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens, File)AP - Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month.



AP - Researchers at Cornell University have discovered that Aedes aegypti mosquitoes — the ones that spread diseases like yellow and dengue fever — alter their wing vibrations in a mating signal.

A florist delivery worker carries a wreath of flowers at the entrance to Jumbolair Aviation Estates, where actor John Travolta and his family have a home Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009  near Ocala, Fla. Friends and relatives are expected for a ceremony Thursday to be held for the death of the Travolta's sixteen year old son Jett, who died while in the Bahamas. (AP Photo/Phil Sandlin)AP - John Travolta and his family were expected to host a private memorial service Thursday for their son, 16-year-old Jett Travolta, at their home in a central Florida gated community.



This Sept. 7, 2007 file photo shows Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz tipping his hat to fans as he leaves the game after giving up a hit to Washington Nationals' Ronnie Belliard, ending Smoltz's bid for a no-hitter, during the eighth inning of a baseball game at Turner Field in Atlanta. Smoltz has reached a preliminary agreement on a contract with the Boston Red Sox, a stunning end to his long career with the Atlanta Braves. The deal was expected to be finalized later Thursday Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Gregory Smith, File)AP - After more than two decades with the Braves, John Smoltz appears likely to finish his stellar career wearing a different uniform. In a stunning end to one of baseball's longest runs, Smoltz reached preliminary agreement on a contract with the Boston Red Sox after failing to work out a deal to return for his 22nd season with the Braves.



President-elect Barack Obama at a news conference in Chicago, December 7, 2008. (Jeff Haynes/Reuters)Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama warned on Thursday that the U.S. economy could stay mired in recession for years without bold action and he urged lawmakers to work day and night to pass a massive stimulus plan.



Israeli soldiers take their positions during Israel's offensive in the Gaza Strip January 8, 2009, in this picture released by Israel's Defence Forces (IDF). (Doron Keren/IDF/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Palestinians faced even grimmer conditions in the Gaza Strip on Thursday after a U.N. aid agency halted work, saying its staff were at risk from Israeli forces fighting Hamas militants, after two drivers were killed.



A customer shops at a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Rogers, Arkansas, June 5, 2008. (Jessica Rinaldi/Reuters)Reuters - Wal-Mart Stores Inc and other top U.S. retailers delivered disappointing December same-store sales and profit warnings on Thursday, sparking fresh recession concerns that hit stock and currency markets.



Bernard Madoff is escorted from Federal Court in New York January 5, 2009. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)Reuters - A search of accused swindler Bernard Madoff's office desk revealed he had signed checks totaling more than $173 million ready to be sent, U.S. prosecutors said in court papers on Thursday asking a judge to jail him.



A device that distributes gas from the underground reserves is seen at the natural gas storage facility of Turkish Petroleum Corporation in Kinali, some 100 km (62 miles) west of Istanbul, January 7, 2009. (Osman Orsal/Reuters)Reuters - Russia said on Thursday it would restore gas supplies to Europe through Ukraine once international monitors were in place, but Moscow and Kiev remained at odds over the terms of any supervision.



People walk past the Bank of England in central London, January 8, 2009. (Rob Bodman/Reuters)Reuters - Economic weakness in Europe worsened and disappointing sales from Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, knocked financial markets lower on Thursday, strengthening the case for government stimulus and new rate cuts.



Reuters - A criminal probe into the CIA's destruction of videotapes showing harsh interrogations of terrorism suspects is almost finished, court papers made public this week show.

A man looks at a large screen displaying India's benchmark share index on the facade of the Bombay Stock Exchange building in Mumbai, January 7, 2009. (Punit Paranjpe/Reuters)Reuters - India's Satyam Computer faces a crisis of "unimaginable proportions," its interim chief executive said a day after the chairman revealed profits had been falsely inflated for years.



Palestinian protestors throw stones at Israeli soldiers following a demonstration in the West Bank village of Bilin. The main UN Palestinian relief agency halted work in Gaza on Thursday after a driver was killed and the death toll from Israel's war on Hamas rose to more than 760 after dozens of bodies were found in the rubble.(AFP/Abbas Momani)AFP - The main UN Palestinian relief agency halted work in Gaza on Thursday after a driver was killed and the death toll from Israel's war on Hamas rose to more than 760 after dozens of bodies were found in the rubble.



A man warms himself near a stove in a bar in the town of Belovo, Bulgaria. EU-sponsored talks collapsed Thursday between Russia and Ukraine on resolving a gas dispute that has cut supplies to Europe in the midst of a bitterly cold winter, with Moscow blamed for the failure.(AFP/Boryana Katsarova)AFP - EU-sponsored talks collapsed Thursday between Russia and Ukraine on resolving a gas dispute that has cut supplies to Europe in the midst of a bitterly cold winter, with Moscow blamed for the failure.




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