
"Slowly, slowly, walk the path and you might never stumble or fall. Slowly, slowly walk the path and you might never fall in love at all."
From Golden Golden By Andy M Stewart
In Corrogue I slowly walk the path between discipline and surrender.
The longer I walk this path the deeper the expectation that what I ask for will be received. I no longer put limits on how this receiving will come about. I now simply allow it to arrive. I learn the paradox of asking for more because I want and need less.
When I trained as a healer it was a period of great change in my life. I had worked as an Accountant for thirty years. It took the death of a beloved sister to have me wake up. So I chose to walk more quickly and risk that I might stumble and fall. And fall and stumble I did.
During the opening year of this change of direction I wrote a lot of poetry. Some of this poetry I keep. Some of it I even perform when I am graced the opportunity. One poem intrigues people above others. It is a poem called "The House of Union." In fact, it is the last line of this poem that intrigues people the most. This poem ends with the line "afraid of being loved too much."
My counselling friends would quiz me. They would ask, "Tony, how can you be afraid of being loved too much?" At the time I wasn't quite sure how to answer. It didn't seem logical although I felt the line was right for me at the time.
As I have walked this path of discipline and surrender this line "afraid of being loved too much," has unfolded slowly. Now the beauty of this line begins to quicken. It begins to unveil its meaning to the one who wrote it some years before. It begins to become a perfume that I wear with honour and gladness.
There are times in all our lives when we are not sure if the ground beneath our feet will hold us up. To learn to be happy is to "hazard" ourselves in the world. This is advice from the beautiful poet David Whyte. He is a radical poet who takes poetry into the boardrooms of multinational companies. If we do not risk we might walk on this wonderful mother earth and never come home to the beauty of who we truly are.
Now I can say I am less "afraid of being loved too much."
There has been a movement toward allowing love "to be" and to flow through a more surrendered heart. I am more prepared to allow this body to be the dance. This movement opens up the flow of feelings. There are tears. These are tears of sorrow and tears of joy. Yet I would have it no other way.
When you are less afraid of "being loved too much," the universe pours into you. You simply ask for what is the highest good. You do not ask from a sense of "wanting." This is asking from a place of "lack." You ask and you trust. You ask and you wait.
You ask knowing that infinite patience brings instant results. You do the work that is needed with intention and attention to the highest good. You surrender the fruits of the action. You trust in "love in action" and it comes. How it comes is not for you to know. It is simply for you to allow.
I find this process more and more miraculous. I find it less and less surprising that the experiences and needs that I express daily are fulfilled more and more quickly.
As readers of this ezine know I am presently engaged with a love for symbols. These symbols I am engaged with connect me to my Celtic Heritage. I am deepening my love for them. They begin to speak to me in ways I might never have imagined.
Out on this "acre of diamonds" that is Corrogue I am intent on building a raised bed in the form of a Celtic cross. I have a clear idea how I will build the lines of the cross but not the circle. Yesterday I got my circle. It is in the form of a large caterpillar track that came of my friend Michael's mini digger.
I hadn't thought about it as a possible frame for a circle until Charlie who was helping us lay a foundation at the old school house said, "Tony, can't you use that caterpillar track in your garden?" All these people know how I love to recycle material that would otherwise disappear into landfill. So in one week I have what I asked for in a way I would never have imagined.
To quote another line from a beautiful song by Paul McCartney, "Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time." In fact I know I am amazed. I begin to take to heart the fact that the Beloved loves me. This is not "little me" in any ego sense but the essence of who I am. This "who I am" is a nobody that is wondrous beyond measure because he is simply a part of it all.
I think that so many of us are truly afraid of "being loved too much."
We are like batteries. Each of us will only allow ourselves to take a certain charge of energy. This is particularly true of the energy of love. We can only contain the level of love energy we are comfortable with. If we allowed ourselves to be loved the way the Beloved loves us it would literally blow our minds.
When you begin to walk the path of discipline and surrender you are graced more and more of the "real life." This is not the life of "little me." It is the life of flow. This flow is the power of love. When you get out of the way the Blessing is here. You get what you need and all you really need is love. Then you know that you are always enough.
When you let go and let be you begin to manifest surprises.
Life is no longer routine. You find there are banquet moments lying all around. You are presented with fullness and emptiness and you treat them equally. You become the crazy diamond you are and you shine on. You "sail into the mystic." You enter the feeling experience that allows you to know who you are. You know that you are never apart and can never be apart from love.
Be careful, however, along this path.
Be careful that what you ask for because you will surely receive it. One time you may glimpse. Then you will not be "afraid of being loved too much." You will know that you and love are one. You have come home. This is enough.
The Blessing is already here and you are it.
© Tony Cuckson 2005
Tony Cuckson is a Writer, Storyteller and Anam Cara This translates as "Anam" meaning Soul and "Cara" meaning Friend. He is the writer of "Blessings for the Soul." and author of the weekly ezine "Blessings for YOU." Get this free weekly ezine giving delight to the heart. Subscribe to this ezine for free at http://www.irishblessingsmatter.com or request a free subscription via email totony@irishblessingsmatter.com
AP - President-elect Barack Obama said Wednesday that reforming massive government entitlement programs — such as Social Security and Medicare — would be "a central part" of his effort to control federal spending. Obama made the pledge but provided few details as he named Nancy Killefer as his administration's chief performance officer, creating a new White House position aimed at eliminating government waste and improving efficiency.
AP - Israeli airstrikes and Hamas rockets resumed after a brief pause Wednesday to allow food and fuel to reach Palestinian civilians in Gaza, where an Israeli warplane dropped leaflets urging some residents to flee because of imminent attacks.
AP - Roland Burris said Wednesday he should be able to join the Senate "very shortly," after talking to newly supportive Democratic leaders and working on lingering legal obstacles. Talking to reporters on the second day of a Washington power odyssey that would intimidate many, the 71-year-old Burris declared himself happy and said he was pleased with his meeting with Sens. Harry Reid and Dick Durbin.
AP - Confronting a grim economy and a Middle East on fire, Barack Obama turned Wednesday to perhaps the only people on the planet who understand what he's in for: the four living members of the U.S. presidents' club.
AP - One of Gov. Bill Richardson's close friends and advisers worked as a consultant for the California firm at the center of a federal pay-to-play probe that derailed the governor's appointment as commerce secretary.
AP - Minnesota's grueling U.S. Senate race, already dragging on two months past Election Day, has now moved even further from the voters — and into the hands of lawyers.
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AP - Babies do better after a scheduled Caesarean section if they're born no sooner than seven days before their due date, a new large study of U.S. births shows. Those delivered earlier had more complications, including breathing problems, even though they were full term, the researchers reported in Thursday's New England Journal of Medicine. Even just a few days made a difference, they said.
AP - The Cleveland Browns have agreed to hire Eric Mangini as their head coach, a person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press. Mangini, fired last week by the New York Jets, reached an agreement with the club Wednesday, said the person who spoke on condition of anonymity because Mangini's contract has not been finalized.
Reuters - The U.S. budget deficit will swell to a record $1.186 trillion in fiscal 2009, congressional forecasters said on Wednesday, the result of an economic recession that has cut tax receipts and caused massive government bailouts of banks and automakers.
Reuters - Israeli aircraft and tanks pounded the Gaza Strip on Wednesday and troops battled Palestinian guerrillas on the ground as U.S. backing for a proposed truce raised expectations of an end to the 12-day-old offensive.
Reuters - United Auto Workers bargaining teams are arriving this week in Detroit as the union gears up for negotiations with General Motors Corp and Chrysler LLC, which are mandated to cut labor costs under a $17.4 billion federal bailout.
Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday to swear in Roland Burris, appointed by embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate.
Reuters - An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states, sending 18 percent of them to the hospital, U.S. health officials said on Wednesday.
Reuters - Job losses and plans to lay off workers hammered the struggling U.S. economy in the final month of 2008, according to private reports that could foreshadow surprisingly grim labor market data from the government on Friday.
Reuters - Defense Secretary Robert Gates has told Congress that a planned buildup of U.S. forces in Afghanistan could add $5.5 billion to U.S. war costs in the current federal fiscal year, officials said on Wednesday.
Reuters - One of the packages accused swindler Bernard Madoff sent in violation of a court order contained about 13 watches, a diamond necklace and other valuables worth more than $1 million, prosecutors said in court papers released on Wednesday.
AFP - Israel on Wednesday approved an even tougher war on Hamas, warning residents to flee southern Gaza ahead of planned bombardments of cross-border tunnels, as the Palestinian death toll passed 700.
AFP - Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Wednesday laid down terms for a resumption of Russian gas shipments via Ukraine to Europe as tens of thousands of Europeans suffered heating cuts amid freezing weather.
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