Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Whose life are you living? Are you living your dream or someone else's? How much of your life is being decided by someone else? Are you in a profession you dislike because it is expected of you? Do you engage in activities you would rather skip, simply because it is part of your "role" as a spouse or mother?

What about you? Doesn't your opinion count? It is not only reasonable but mentally healthy for you to direct your own life.

If you find yourself in a profession you do not especially like, try asking yourself the following question: If I were starting over in my career, what would I chose to do?

Some people retire and, because they can do whatever they want, begin a second career. This time, they do what they love and, many times, become highly successful.

Famous the second time around

You may not remember that Caroll O'Connor, the actor who created the role of Archie Bunker in "All In The Family" and later played the burly police chief in "In The Heat of the Night," was a high school teacher until he was in his forties. While teaching is surely a noble profession, his greatest gifts to humanity were clearly to come from his acting talents. Fortunately, for those of us entertained by his talents, he followed his bliss and became an actor.

Another example of the second career is the comedian Phyliss Diller. She was a cleaning lady until she was 37. Incidentally, she was inspired by reading and acting on a self-help book, "The Magic of Believing," by Claude Bristol. Interestingly enough, Liberace, the great pianist, attributed the strategies in this same book to his huge success and enormous wealth. Take charge of your life

You owe it to yourself to run your own life. I am not suggesting that you go out and change everything overnight, however, you can begin to direct your life where you would like it to go.

For example, if you have always wanted to be an actress or actor, but have financial responsibilities which require you to work a "real job," you could satisfy your need to act by joining a local theater group. Many a community theater performer works happily at a nine to five job Monday through Friday, knowing they have an outlet for their creative selves on the weekend.

If most of your time is being taken up in the role of wife and mother, you could begin to set aside time for yourself. Time to pursue your other dreams. You could arrange for your spouse or another person to care for your children while you take care of your own needs.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish. The Bible say we should love our neighbor as ourselves. It does not say instead of or more than. Begin to set aside time doing some of the things you want.

If you are in a job you strongly dislike, start devising a plan which will allow you to make a change. Perhaps you need to go for re-training in another profession. I know of several nurses who, when they realized they were spending more time filling out paperwork than caring for patients, began new careers as massage therapists. There, they were able to have the satisfaction of working directly with the people they wanted to help.

© 2004 Jim Donovan - PO Box 1147, Buckingham, PA 18912 - (215) 794-3826

Jim Donovan is the author of "Handbook to a Happier Life, a motivational speaker and coach. For a no cost bonus product & more, visit http://www.JimDonovan.com

If you had all the information and tools you needed to live your dream life, would you use them? Yes? Click here ==> http://www.jimdonovan.com/ebookoffer.html

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

President-elect Barack Obama names Nancy Killefer, left, to the newly created position of chief performance officer, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, at his transition office  Washington. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - President-elect Barack Obama said Wednesday that reforming massive government entitlement programs — such as Social Security and Medicare — would be "a central part" of his effort to control federal spending. Obama made the pledge but provided few details as he named Nancy Killefer as his administration's chief performance officer, creating a new White House position aimed at eliminating government waste and improving efficiency.



An Israeli woman lays on the floor and covers the heads of her two children as an alarm is heard warning of incoming rockets fired by Palestinian militants in Gaza, in Kfar Azza, southern Israel, near Israel's border with the Gaza Strip, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Israel tentatively welcomed a proposal Wednesday from Egypt and France for a Gaza cease-fire and briefly halted its offensive to allow aid to reach civilians, but also gave the military a green light to press ahead with its assault on Hamas.(AP Photo/Sebastian Scheiner)AP - Israeli airstrikes and Hamas rockets resumed after a brief pause Wednesday to allow food and fuel to reach Palestinian civilians in Gaza, where an Israeli warplane dropped leaflets urging some residents to flee because of imminent attacks.



Illinois U.S. Senate Appointee Roland Burris smiles as he meets with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nev. on Capitol Hill in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)AP - Roland Burris said Wednesday he should be able to join the Senate "very shortly," after talking to newly supportive Democratic leaders and working on lingering legal obstacles. Talking to reporters on the second day of a Washington power odyssey that would intimidate many, the 71-year-old Burris declared himself happy and said he was pleased with his meeting with Sens. Harry Reid and Dick Durbin.



President-elect Barack Obama is welcomed by President George W. Bush for a meeting at the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, with former presidents, from left, George H.W. Bush, Bill  Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.  (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)AP - Confronting a grim economy and a Middle East on fire, Barack Obama turned Wednesday to perhaps the only people on the planet who understand what he's in for: the four living members of the U.S. presidents' club.



Republican Norm Coleman along with his wife Laurie and several supporters announces he is suing to challenge the results of the U.S. Senate recount during a press conference Tuesday Jan. 6, 2009 at the State Office Building in St. Paul, Minn.  Coleman lost the recount to Democratic  candidate Al Franken by 225 votes. (AP Photo/Dawn VIllella)AP - Minnesota's grueling U.S. Senate race, already dragging on two months past Election Day, has now moved even further from the voters — and into the hands of lawyers.



AP - You've heard of making cheese from goats' milk, but prescription drugs? In what would be a scientific first, an anti-clotting drug made from the milk of genetically engineered goats moved closer to government approval Wednesday after experts at the Food and Drug Administration reported that the medication works and its safety is acceptable.

CHANGES all percentages to rates per thousand; map shows the teen birth rate for 15- to -19 year olds for 2006 by state ; 1 c x 3 1/4 in; 46.5 mm x 82.55 mm; 2 c x 3 1/4 in; 96.3 mm x 82.55 mmAP - Mississippi now has the nation's highest teen birth rate, displacing Texas and New Mexico for that lamentable title, a new federal report says. Mississippi's rate was more than 60 percent higher than the national average in 2006, according to new state statistics released Wednesday by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The teen birth rate for that year in Texas and New Mexico was more than 50 percent higher.



In this May 13, 2004 file photo, Brad Pitt, left, arrives with his Jennifer Aniston at the screening of his film 'Troy,'  at the 57th International Film Festival in Cannes, southern France. (AP Photo/Patrick Gardin, file)AP - Brad Pitt insists he didn't cheat on Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie. In a story posted on W magazine's Web site, the 45-year-old actor defends both women and says his relationship with Jolie didn't begin until after he and Aniston split in 2005.



AP - An eastern Pennsylvania man may face up to 37 years in prison for tearing open a neighbor's door with a chain saw. Police say 34-year-old Robert Kane began sawing through the front door of Jamie Zaleski's apartment in Scranton while Zaleski and several friends ran out the back.

Buffalo Sabres' Jason Peters (76) grimaces after he was bit through the glove by Ottawa Senators' Jarkko Ruutu, not shown, of Finland, during the first period of the NHL hockey game in Buffalo, N.Y., Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009. (AP Photo/Dean Duprey)AP - Ottawa Senators forward Jarkko Ruutu was suspended by the NHL on Wednesday for two games without pay for biting Buffalo Sabres enforcer Andrew Peters. The NHL said Ruutu will lose $37,707 in pay and miss Ottawa's game at Boston on Thursday and a home game against the New York Rangers on Saturday.



President Bush greets President-elect Barack Obama at the White House, November 10, 2008. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)Reuters - The U.S. budget deficit will swell to a record $1.186 trillion in fiscal 2009, congressional forecasters said on Wednesday, presenting President-elect Barack Obama with a daunting economic challenge.



An Israeli woman and her two children take cover during a rocket attack near Kfar Aza, just outside the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009. (Baz Ratner/Reuters)Reuters - Hundreds of embattled Palestinians ventured outside to shop for food on Wednesday during a three-hour Gaza truce, a first step toward an Egyptian-proposed ceasefire under discussion by Israel and Hamas.



United Auto Workers (UAW) President Ron Gettelfinger (C) addresses the media as UAW Vice-Presidents listen at the UAW Solidarity House in Detroit, Michigan December 12, 2008. (Rebecca Cook/Reuters)Reuters - United Auto Workers bargaining teams are arriving this week in Detroit as the union gears up for negotiations with General Motors Corp and Chrysler LLC, which are mandated to cut labor costs under a $17.4 billion federal bailout.



Senate-designate Roland Burris talks with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in Reid's office on Capitol Hill, January 7, 2009. (Larry Downing/Reuters)Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday to swear in Roland Burris, appointed by embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate.



Eggs are stacked up at an egg farm in San Diego County, July 29, 2008. (Mike Blake/Reuters)Reuters - An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states, sending 18 percent of them to the hospital, U.S. health officials said on Wednesday.



A man walks past a store advertising a sale in Virginia, November 28, 2008. (Larry Downing/Reuters)Reuters - Job losses and plans to lay off workers hammered the struggling U.S. economy in the final month of 2008, according to private reports that could foreshadow surprisingly grim labor market data from the government on Friday.



A door gunner on a U.S. Army Chinook helicopter keeps a watch on the terrain during a resupply mission in eastern Afghanistan December 25, 2008. (Bob Strong/Reuters)Reuters - Defense Secretary Robert Gates has told Congress that a planned buildup of U.S. forces in Afghanistan could add $5.5 billion to U.S. war costs in the current federal fiscal year, officials said on Wednesday.



Bernard Madoff is escorted in a vehicle from Federal Court in New York, January 5, 2009. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)Reuters - One of the packages accused swindler Bernard Madoff sent in violation of a court order contained about 13 watches, a diamond necklace and other valuables worth more than $1 million, prosecutors said in court papers released on Wednesday.



Smoke billows following an Israel air strike in Rafah near the Gaza Strip's border with Egypt. Top Israeli ministers on Wednesday approved an even tougher war on Hamas despite warming to a new ceasefire initiative and briefly silencing its guns to let Gaza City residents hunt for food and fuel.(AFP/Said Khatib)AFP - Israel on Wednesday approved an even tougher war on Hamas, warning residents to flee southern Gaza ahead of planned bombardments of cross-border tunnels, as the Palestinian death toll passed 700.



An employee makes a routine check at a natural gas control center of German E-On Natural Gas Storage Closed Company Limited in Hajduszoboszlo, more than 200 kms east of Budapest, Hungary. Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Wednesday laid down terms for a resumption of Russian gas shipments via Ukraine to Europe as tens of thousands of Europeans suffered heating cuts amid freezing weather.(AFP/Attila Kisbenedek)AFP - Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Wednesday laid down terms for a resumption of Russian gas shipments via Ukraine to Europe as tens of thousands of Europeans suffered heating cuts amid freezing weather.




Awaken The Genie Within

Ancient lore tells us that there's a magical genie who lives in... Read More

Feng Shui To Attract Love

Not having much luck in love lately? Relationship falling apart? Maybe its... Read More

The Way of Attraction - Walking the Path

"Slowly, slowly, walk the path and you might never stumble or fall.... Read More

Who Are You Really?

'Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content... Read More

Do You Want Raspberry, Chocolate Or Vanilla?

Descartes once wrote, "I think, therefore I am!" and 'hidden' in plain... Read More

What Do You Do?

When I go out and talk to business people, I hear them... Read More

Creating Your Own Destiny

If you don't know where you are going, you won't know how... Read More

Success Through a Supercharged Network

I have finally come to believe something about myself because so many... Read More

Change Your Story; Change Your Life

When was the last time you told someone the story of your... Read More

Jedi Mind Tricks - How To Make Suggestions Like A Jedi Master

Being a child of the Seventies I'm a real fan of the... Read More

Relationships - 9 Never-Changing Rules

In a relationship, your ability to understand and respond to the other... Read More

Dont Take It Personally

Many of you already know that I've been divorced for 5 years... Read More

Getting the Universe to Work for You

Wouldn't it be great to know that you have something as enormous... Read More

On St. Valentines Day, Or Any Romantic Interlude, Woo Your Sweetheart With Chocolates, Roses...

On Valentine's Day, or any romantic interlude, lovers should woo their sweethearts... Read More

How To Become Insane

Somebody once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and... Read More

Abundance Flourishes in an Atmosphere of Integrity

There's no way to fake INTEGRITY. You are either are IN INTEGRITY... Read More

Bigger Fish To Fry

Last month I was on another adventure, fishing Dog Lake in Northern... Read More

True Friends Are Not Dream-Slashers

A friendship poem:Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paintIs who you are... Read More

Motivation for Life: What Would You Do if You Could Have a Do Over?

"The only thing it takes 365 days to change is a year"... Read More

Who is Directing You?

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a long term mystic. During... Read More

Yes You Can

If you could change one thing in your life today, what would... Read More

Become a Practicing Artist

At heart, everyone's an artist. In practice, of course, this is not... Read More

Closing the Feedback Loop

In earlier articles, I've often spoken about the supreme importance of becoming... Read More

9 Exercises to Enhance Your Self-Expertise

Personal Self-Expertise is an invaluable tool that transforms the way you communicate... Read More

The 3 Steps To Communication Mastery

Although you know better, you do not apply all that you have... Read More

A New Beginning With The People At Work

There's a big opportunity here! The holidays bring a change in spirit... Read More

Making New Friends

How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new... Read More

A Sweep of Vanity: How To Burst Your Own Bubble

"Hoy-day! What a sweep of vanity comes this way!" --William Shakespeare, "The... Read More

The Revolution Begins When YOU take Control

I'd like to share a story with you about two interesting people... Read More

Transformational Counseling - Part One

Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others to transform their lives.... Read More

Stopping Time

Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break the fall. I've got... Read More

What Characters Teach Us about Character

Character is that which defines us; it's what people will remember about... Read More

The Art of Possibility

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not... Read More

You Can?t Seek for Change and Control at the Same Time

I saw a coaching client recently who wanted to get right down... Read More

Crack the Clandestine Code of Diamonds

Precious, brilliant and expensive-why wouldn't diamonds be a girl's best friend? When... Read More

Abundance is a Feeling

This question and answer interview was done by Kathy Smith, one of... Read More

Recognize Desire AS Power

I just moved into my new luxurious, harborside condo, overlooking the famous... Read More

Beads?A Sign of the Times?

When you hear the word "beads," do you immediately think of jewelry?... Read More

Be Not Afraid of Greatness

Have you noticed how the workplace seems to be a little more... Read More

Digging To The Root Of Your Problem

Most people have some aspects of themselves that they would like to... Read More

When You Attract Negative People, Be Thankful

Laws of Attraction are clearly defined. What comes back is a reflection... Read More

Bad Luck ... Or Blessing In Disguise?

There was a woman who was in such a hurry to go... Read More

Law-of-Attraction Article: Wake Up and Create Something

It's time for the "mainstream" to WAKE UP. The alarm clock is... Read More

The Principle of Abundance

One of the first great things I learned when starting my business,... Read More

Hot Date Tonight?

Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a single woman,... Read More

Triggering Intention: How To Remember To Remember

You've got a lot to store in that brain of yours. Sometimes... Read More

5 Practical Shyness Tips That Work Everytime

We all experience a little shyness at times with people who we... Read More