You Think That You?re Listening?. But Are You Actually Hearing What Im Saying?

"We have two ears and one mouth, so that we can listen twice as much as we speak" ? Epictetus, Greek Stoic Philosopher. (55AD-135AD)

In our fast-paced culture conversations have little to do with communication ? they are about talking. While one person speaks, the others are not hearing what is being said because they are already planning what they are going to say next. How much of what the speaker has said has actually been 'heard'? What is in your head when someone is speaking to you? Are the words that they are saying to you in there, or is it something else? Have you gone to some other place or are you with some other person, having a separate conversation in your mind? How much attention are you really paying?

Just for once, decide to have a day of listening, not speaking. When someone is talking to you, make a concerted effort to listen hard and comprehend what it is they are actually saying. If necessary, repeat back to them what you think they have said ? just to be certain you have really taken in what they are trying to tell you. Give them time to finish their sentences, without jumping in because you think you know what they are going to say next. You may be wrong. This is called 'active listening' and is a skill that takes practice.

Suddenly, the communication you have with people is heightened. The more you listen the more meaningful everything will become. People will respond better to you if they feel you are really listening and by 'hearing' what others are saying you may find that you learn something.

Kate Harper is based in the beautiful Highlands of Scotland. Check out her website http://www.harpercoaching.com

She works with people who are fed up with moaning about their lives and have decided to do something about it. If that is you, please see Kate's website. She is happy to work with people from any part of the world.

"The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult." -Madame Marie du Deffand

Take your first step today and contact Kate.

In The News:

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President-elect Barack Obama is welcomed by President George W. Bush for a meeting at the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, with former presidents, from left, George H.W. Bush, Bill  Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.  (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)AP - President-elect Barack Obama hailed a rare Oval Office gathering of all U.S. presidents as an extraordinary event on Wednesday as the current occupant, President George W. Bush, reminded his predecessors and successor that the office "transcends the individual."



President-elect Barack Obama names Nancy Killefer, left, to the newly created position of chief performance officer, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, at his transition office  Washington. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - President-elect Barack Obama said Wednesday that reforming massive government entitlement programs — such as Social Security and Medicare — would be "a central part" of his effort to control federal spending.



Illinois U.S. Senate Appointee Roland Burris smiles as he meets with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nev. on Capitol Hill in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)AP - Roland Burris said Wednesday he should be able to join the Senate "very shortly," after talking to newly supportive Democratic leaders and working on lingering legal obstacles.



Bundles of one dollar bills at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in Washington, DC. The provisional US budget deficit in 2008/2009 will balloon to a record 1.2 trillion dollars, the Congressional Budget Office said Wednesday.(AFP/File/Shawn Thew)AP - The federal budget deficit will nearly triple to an unprecedented $1.2 trillion for the 2009 budget year, according to grim new Congressional Budget Office figures.



An Israeli soldier leans against artillery shells while reading the newspaper near the Israeli Gaza border, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Following 12 days of bombardment and operations Israel's military paused its Gaza offensive for three hours Wednesday to allow food and fuel to reach besieged Palestinians, and the country's leaders debated whether to accept an international cease-fire plan or expand the assault against Hamas. (AP Photo/Tara Todras-Whitehill)AP - Israeli airstrikes and Hamas rockets resumed after a brief pause Wednesday to allow food and fuel to reach Palestinian civilians in Gaza, where an Israeli warplane dropped leaflets urging some residents to flee because of imminent attacks.



AP - Heavy rain across the South on Wednesday caused flooding, school and road closures and a landslide that destroyed a home in North Carolina.

CHANGES all percentages to rates per thousand; map shows the teen birth rate for 15- to -19 year olds for 2006 by state ; 1 c x 3 1/4 in; 46.5 mm x 82.55 mm; 2 c x 3 1/4 in; 96.3 mm x 82.55 mmAP - Mississippi now has the nation's highest teen birth rate, displacing Texas and New Mexico for that lamentable title, a new federal report says. Mississippi's rate was more than 60 percent higher than the national average in 2006, according to new state statistics released Wednesday by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The teen birth rate for that year in Texas and New Mexico was more than 50 percent higher.



In this Oct. 15, 2008 file photo, rapper Jay-Z performs at the grand reopening of the Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles.  (AP Photo/Matt Sayles, file)AP - Jay-Z isn't performing at President-elect Barack Obama's inauguration, but he is planning to make a big splash on the eve of the event.



AP - An eastern Pennsylvania man may face up to 37 years in prison for tearing open a neighbor's door with a chain saw. Police say 34-year-old Robert Kane began sawing through the front door of Jamie Zaleski's apartment in Scranton while Zaleski and several friends ran out the back.

In this April 6, 2001, file photo, Oakland Athletics' Jason Giambi holds the American League MVP trophy over his head in a ceremony prior to the Athletics' baseball game against the Anaheim Angels in Oakland, Calif. Giambi might just finish his career where it began more than a decade ago. The free-agent first baseman was nearing a deal Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009, to return to the Athletics nearly 14 years after making his debut with the club, according to a person familiar with the negotiations. (AP Photo/Ben Margot, File)AP - Jason Giambi is returning to his professional baseball roots with the Oakland Athletics. Giambi and the A's finalized a $5.25 million, one-year contract with an option Wednesday, bringing the free-agent designated hitter and first baseman back to the place he began his big league career. The sides had reached a preliminary agreement earlier this week but Giambi still needed to complete the obligatory physical for the deal to get done.



President Bush greets President-elect Barack Obama at the White House, November 10, 2008. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)Reuters - The U.S. budget deficit will swell to a record $1.186 trillion in fiscal 2009, congressional forecasters said on Wednesday, presenting President-elect Barack Obama with a daunting economic challenge.



An Israeli woman and her two children take cover during a rocket attack near Kfar Aza, just outside the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009. (Baz Ratner/Reuters)Reuters - Hundreds of embattled Palestinians ventured outside to shop for food on Wednesday during a three-hour Gaza truce, a first step toward an Egyptian-proposed ceasefire under discussion by Israel and Hamas.



United Auto Workers (UAW) President Ron Gettelfinger (C) addresses the media as UAW Vice-Presidents listen at the UAW Solidarity House in Detroit, Michigan December 12, 2008. (Rebecca Cook/Reuters)Reuters - United Auto Workers bargaining teams are arriving this week in Detroit as the union gears up for negotiations with General Motors Corp and Chrysler LLC, which are mandated to cut labor costs under a $17.4 billion federal bailout.



Illinois Senate appointee Roland Burris during a new conference at Midway Airport in Chicago, before leaving for Washington D.C., January 5, 2009. (Jeff Haynes/Reuters)Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Senate Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday about swearing in former Illinois attorney general Roland Burris, nominated by embattled Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the Senate.



Eggs are stacked up at an egg farm in San Diego County, July 29, 2008. (Mike Blake/Reuters)Reuters - An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states, sending 18 percent of them to the hospital, U.S. health officials said on Wednesday.



A man walks past a store advertising a sale in Virginia, November 28, 2008. (Larry Downing/Reuters)Reuters - Job losses and plans to lay off workers hammered the struggling U.S. economy in the final month of 2008, according to private reports that could foreshadow surprisingly grim labor market data from the government on Friday.



A door gunner on a U.S. Army Chinook helicopter keeps a watch on the terrain during a resupply mission in eastern Afghanistan December 25, 2008. (Bob Strong/Reuters)Reuters - Defense Secretary Robert Gates has told Congress that a planned buildup of U.S. forces in Afghanistan could add $5.5 billion to U.S. war costs in the current federal fiscal year, officials said on Wednesday.



Bernard Madoff is escorted in a vehicle from Federal Court in New York, January 5, 2009. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)Reuters - One of the packages accused swindler Bernard Madoff sent in violation of a court order contained about 13 watches, a diamond necklace and other valuables worth more than $1 million, prosecutors said in court papers released on Wednesday.



Smoke billows following an Israel air strike in Rafah near the Gaza Strip's border with Egypt. Top Israeli ministers on Wednesday approved an even tougher war on Hamas despite warming to a new ceasefire initiative and briefly silencing its guns to let Gaza City residents hunt for food and fuel.(AFP/Said Khatib)AFP - Israel on Wednesday approved an even tougher war on Hamas, warning residents to flee southern Gaza ahead of planned bombardments of cross-border tunnels, as the Palestinian death toll passed 700.



An employee makes a routine check at a natural gas control center of German E-On Natural Gas Storage Closed Company Limited in Hajduszoboszlo, more than 200 kms east of Budapest, Hungary. Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Wednesday laid down terms for a resumption of Russian gas shipments via Ukraine to Europe as tens of thousands of Europeans suffered heating cuts amid freezing weather.(AFP/Attila Kisbenedek)AFP - Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Wednesday laid down terms for a resumption of Russian gas shipments via Ukraine to Europe as tens of thousands of Europeans suffered heating cuts amid freezing weather.




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