Its Not Too Late to Vaccinate Against the Fear of Failure Flu

There's an epidemic in our culture. Have you heard of the 'fear of failure flu?'

Early symptoms include sweaty palms and a knot in the stomach. Those in the middles stages of the 'disease' have an intense focus on 'resume building' -- children's activities are no longer for fun but become accomplishments that will somehow separate some important future application from the rest of the pack. A form of paralysis (that keeps kids from trying new things at which they might not instantnly excel) is a symptom only visible in the later stages of the disease.

Parents who want to teach kids to value effort for its own sake start with themselves. They start with their own fears. Everyone fails from time to time; when we don't it's often because we're not stretching far enough!

To vaccinate your kids agains the 'fear of failure flu' a careful self examination may be in order. After all, to thrive, a virus needs a carrier and a hospitable environment. As parents, it's importnat that we take steps to make sure we're not 'carriers' of the very behavior we're trying to help our kids avoid!

For example, if you're too hard on yourself when you 'come up short' do you hide that fact from your children? Could you, instead, share the fact that you -- and they -- are human beings with a lot to learn and there will always be times in life when we fail at something we care about? There is strength in learning to view setbacks as learning.

Which outlook is supported by the environment that your kids are in?

Andrea Patten, LADC is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement now available on Amazon.com

For more information about the Four Foundations, or to book Andrea to speak to your group, please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com

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President-elect Barack Obama makes remarks on the nations economy, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs. Senators from both parties agreed that Congress should do something to stimulate the economy. But Democratic senators emerging from a private meeting of the Senate Finance Committee criticized business and individual tax cuts in Obama's stimulus plan.



Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, right, hugs his French counterpart Nicolas Sarkozy at the end of a press conference on Tuesday Jan. 6, 2009 in Sharm el-Sheik, Egypt. Sarkozy said Wednesday Jan. 7, 2009 that Israel and the Palestinian Authority have accepted an Egyptian-French plan for Gaza.   (AP Photo/Eric Feferberg/Pool)AP - In a surprise move, the United States abstained from a U.N. Security Council vote Thursday night urging an immediate cease-fire in Gaza, saying it wanted to see the results of Egyptian-mediated talks with Hamas and Israel before calling for a halt to military action.



Palestinian demonstrators use sling-shots to hurl stones at Israeli soldiers during a demonstration against Israel's military operation in Gaza, in the West Bank village of Bilin, near Ramallah,Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday after a three-hour lull to allow delivery of humanitarian aid, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt. Despite the heavy fighting, strides appeared to be being made on the diplomatic front with the U.S. throwing its weight behind a deal being brokered by France and Egypt. (AP Photo/Muhammed Muheisen)AP - The U.N. Security Council called for an "immediate" and "durable" cease-fire in Gaza in a resolution Thursday night even as fighting between Israel and Hamas raged — with early morning airstrikes killing seven Palestinians and pushing the death toll to about 760 in the near two-week conflict.



Florida's Tim Tebow (15) tackles Oklahoma's Gerald McCoy (93) after McCoy intercepted a Tebow pass during the second quarter of the BCS Championship NCAA college football game in Miami, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/J. Pat Carter)AP - The game defied expectations. Tim Tebow fulfilled them.



Rep. Jack Franks (D-Woodstock) votes to recommend the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to the House during an Illinois House Impeachment Committee hearing Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, in Springfield, Ill. The committee voted unanimously to recommend impeachment putting the matter before the full house.  (AP Photo/Seth Perlman)AP - A key panel unanimously recommended impeachment for Gov. Rod Blagojevich on Thursday, setting up a vote that could make him the first governor to face such fate in Illinois' sordid political history. Blagojevich should lose his job for abusing power, mismanaging government and committing possible criminal acts, including federal allegations he tried to sell off a U.S. Senate seat, the special committee concluded.



A sign instructs job seekers at the California Employment Development Department in Sunnyvale, Calif., Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009. The country lost nearly 2 million jobs through November and more bad news is expected this week when the government releases data on weekly jobless claims and December unemployment. No matter how bad those numbers are, and economists expect at least another 500,000 jobs were lost last month, the pain is stretching into 2009.  (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)AP - Trying to survive a deepening recession, employers are cutting their work forces to the bone, leaving more Americans unemployed and with dim prospects of finding a new job any time soon.



Neel Kashkari, the assistant treasury secretary in charge of the bailout program, speaks at the Brookings Institution in Washington, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)AP - Less than a month after its first report, a congressional panel overseeing the Treasury Department's $700 billion financial bailout is demanding more answers.



Freida Pinto backstage with the best picture award for 'Slumdog Millionaire' at the 14th Annual Critics' Choice Awards on Thursday Jan. 8, 2009 in Santa Monica, Calif. (AP Photo/Dan Steinberg)AP - The critics have spoken, and "Slumdog Millionaire" is their final answer.



Vice President Dick Cheney pauses during an interview with the Associated Press at the White House in Washington Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)AP - Vice President Dick Cheney said Thursday that he sees no reason for President George W. Bush to pre-emptively pardon anyone at the CIA involved in harsh interrogations of suspected terrorists. "I don't have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal," he said.



The east side apartment building where Bernard Madoff remains under house arrest is seen Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, in New York. Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month. (AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)AP - Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month in what is alleged to be largest financial fraud in history.



Palestinian women mourn as they watch the funeral of Palestinians killed at a U.N. school, in Jabalya in the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009. (Mohammed Salem/Reuters)Reuters - Israel pushed ahead with its offensive in the Gaza Strip on Friday, ignoring a U.N. Security Council resolution calling for an immediate ceasefire to the 14-day-old conflict.



Jaclyn Holt (R) fills out an application form at a job fair organized by the New Hampshire Employment Security agency in Salem, New Hampshire December 17, 2008. (Brian Snyder/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. employers probably cut the most jobs in at least 34 years last month as the global economic crisis gathered pace and moves by policy makers took time to filter through to struggling companies.



People taking the Long Island Foreclosure Tour arrive at a foreclosed home for sale in New Hyde Park, New York in this May 17, 2008 file photo. Citigroup could soon agree to principles that would let troubled borrowers save their homes through bankruptcy, sources familiar with the talks said on Thursday, while industry groups are easing their opposition to the plan. (Shannon Stapleton/Reuters)Reuters - Financial giant Citigroup Inc will support a proposal in Congress to rewrite U.S. bankruptcy law to help troubled mortgage borrowers avoid foreclosure, Chief Executive Vikram Pandit said on Thursday.



Reuters - A report being released on Friday alleges that the U.S. Treasury has failed to reveal its strategy for stabilizing the financial system, not answered questions asked by a government watchdog, and has done nothing to help struggling homeowners, the Wall Street Journal said.

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich gestures as he announces former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris as his choice to fill the vacant U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama during a news conference in Chicago, Illinois December 30, 2008. (Frank Polich/Reuters)Reuters - A legislative committee on Thursday recommended the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, citing widespread abuse of power including allegations he tried to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.



Timothy Geithner (R), pictured in Chicago, November 24, 2008. (Jeff Haynes/Reuters)Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama's economic team is urgently overhauling the $700 billion financial rescue package to broaden its scope beyond Wall Street, The Washington Post reported on Friday.



Usama al-Kini, Al Qaeda's operations chief in Pakistan, is pictured in this undated FBI Most Wanted photograph. Al-Kini, also known as Fahid Mohammed Ally Msalam, and a top aide are believed to be dead, a U.S. counterterrorism official said on January 8, 2009, in what appeared to be the latest results of a campaign targeting the militant group's leadership. Operations chief al-Kini was thought responsible for attacks, including the bombing of a Marriott hotel in Islamabad that killed 55 people in September, and an unsuccessful attempt to kill former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, who was later assassinated in a separate attack, the official said. (FBI/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Al Qaeda's operations chief in Pakistan and a top aide are believed to be dead, a U.S. counterterrorism official said on Thursday, in what appeared to be the latest results of a campaign targeting the militant group's leadership.



Reuters - Some friends of accused swindler Bernard Madoff considered him a "warm and charming" man, and one of his alleged victims praised him just before his death in 2005, Fox Business Network reported on Thursday.

Three rockets were fired into northern Israel from Lebanon, sparking Israeli artillery retaliation and the UN peacekeeping force in southern Lebanon sending reinforcements to the region(AFPTV)AFP - Israel carried out new deadly air raids on the Gaza Strip on Friday as the UN Security Council called for an immediate ceasefire to end the two-week-old conflict in the Palestinian territory.



A man carries firewood in the suburbs of Sofia, Bulgaria. Hopes for a quick resumption of Russian gas supplies to Europe were rising Friday after Russia agreed on the terms for the deployment of monitors in Ukraine.(AFP/Dimitar Dilkoff)AFP - Hopes for a quick resumption of Russian gas supplies to Europe were rising Friday after Russia agreed on the terms for the deployment of monitors in Ukraine.




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