Do you ever get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach when you have to approach someone?
In situations like this does your mind go blank?
This is not unusual. That feeling is often the fear of rejection.
When you feel afraid your emotions take over, you feel tense and your ability to think logically vanishes into thin air.
And that is why you can talk to close friends without a care in the world but never know what to say when you meet new people. i.e. emotions cloud your thinking.
What is the answer to this challenge?
You need to take charge of the fear of rejection:
1. Imagine the worst case scenario.
Run it through in your mind. How will you handle rejection if it does happen?
Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever does happen is usually not so bad after all.
Once you accept this you will feel more relaxed and better able to deal with what does happen.
2. Decide what rejection means
When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as:
These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for you. And the strange thing is that only you can choose what rejection means for you.
Meaning is a choice so why not choose more empowering meanings? Such as:
Decide what rejection really means before it happens and you will feel a lot better about yourself if it does happen.
Like I always say...
Knowing what to say is not just a matter of what words to speak, that is only the tip of the iceberg, ninety per cent of the solution depends on you taking charge of your emotional and mental states.
When you do this you will be able to talk to anyone you meet with the same ease you talk to close friends.
One final point...
Are these techniques designed to be used once? No!
These strategies will in time become part of who you are and how you live. Like any skill the more you use them the better you will get.
Aim to improve slightly each and everyday and you will make huge progress in the coming weeks and months. As long as you make it a daily habit.
Doing a little now and again and expecting rapid progress is like exercising once a month and expecting to be slim and fit.
Aim for steady, gradual improvement and you will grow even faster than you expect!
About The Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
AP - A Pakistani militant group apparently used an Indian operative as far back as 2007 to scout targets for the elaborate plot against India's financial capital, authorities said Thursday, a blow to Indian officials who have blamed the deadly attacks entirely on Pakistani extremists.
AP - U.S. automakers drew fresh skepticism from lawmakers Thursday in a rocky confrontation over their pleas for an expanded $34 billion rescue package they say they need to survive. Congressional analysts said one bailout plan under consideration would fall short of what the carmakers want.
AP - Suicide bombers killed 17 people — including two American soldiers — and wounded more than 100 in a string of blasts in two Iraqi cities Thursday as a timetable for withdrawing all U.S. troops won final government approval.
AP - A California couple has been charged with kidnapping and torturing a 17-year-old boy police say they sometimes kept shackled in their home.
AP - Two teenage girls who worked at a nursing home have been charged with abuse, accused of taunting, spitting on and groping residents who suffered from Alzheimer's disease.
AP - Three men, including a small-town police chief, were indicted Thursday on involuntary manslaughter counts in the gun-fair death of an 8-year-old who accidentally shot himself in the head with an Uzi that a prosecutor said he never should have been allowed to handle.
AP - Erik Estrada has returned to Muncie to take part in overnight police patrols in the city where he starred in the short-lived reality series "Armed & Famous." The former star of the 1970s motorcycle cop drama "CHiPs" is a reserve officer on the Muncie Police Department.
AP - Sean Avery surged past camera crews and reporters Thursday, choosing to save his comments this time for NHL commissioner Gary Bettman during a three-hour disciplinary hearing. The Dallas Stars forward was suspended indefinitely on Tuesday just hours after he used a crude expression to describe former girlfriends now dating others while speaking to reporters.
Reuters - The top executives of the major U.S. automakers faced skeptical questioning on Capitol Hill as they pleaded for $34 billion in federal aid and warned of a possible collapse that would jeopardize millions of jobs.
Reuters - Top U.S. phone company AT&T Inc said it will eliminate 12,000 jobs, or about 4 percent of its workforce, in a fresh wave of cuts to cope with an economic downturn that has exacerbated a decline in traditional phone sales.
Reuters - The European Central Bank, Britain and Sweden all made big cuts in interest rates on Thursday to shore up economies across Europe in the face of ever-bleaker financial news.
Reuters - U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Thursday Pakistan had given assurances of its commitment to root out terrorism and round up anyone connected to last week's attack in the Indian city of Mumbai.
Reuters - Iraq's Presidency Council has approved a security pact with the United States that paves the way for a complete U.S. troop pullout by the end of 2011, a spokesman for the council said on Thursday.
Reuters - The United States will quickly feel a change in attitude from Moscow if President-elect Barack Obama transforms Washington's policies toward Russia, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said on Thursday.
Reuters - Thailand's revered and influential king missed his traditional birthday eve address due to illness on Thursday, a speech many Thais had hoped would provide short-term relief to the country's intractable political crisis.
Reuters - Hate crimes against Arab Americans have decreased steadily since the September 11 attacks but are still more common than they were before the hijackings, a civil rights group said on Thursday.
AFP - Leading European central banks took historic action Thursday to ward off spreading recessions, slashing their key lending rates to boost businesses and consumers.
AFP - Car bombers killed at least 15 people in a former rebel bastion on Thursday as Iraq's security pact with Washington won final approval before its launch at the end of the month.
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