Viewpoints - Communication Destruction Or....

Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when you believe that only your view is correct, you shut out other people and do not listen to the facts they are giving.

Your brain's "Reticular Activating System" will actually filter away anything that is in contradiction to these beliefs. Basically, you close off communication and any connection with the other person. And where there is no communication, there is no mastery of your life.

It is important to understand that our viewpoints are based on our outlook in life.

This outlook has been shaped and molded by:
Our own biases
How we were raised in what culture, religion and society
How we were educated, to what level and in what area
Our occupation
Our life experience- that which has happened in our lives
Our expectations of others and ourselves
Our relationships with others and ourselves

There is more than one viewpoint and many situations have multiple viewpoints. If we can back away from ours and look at someone else's side, we are then able to have a greater understanding of the others person's point of view. Only then can true understanding and communication may proceed. This does not mean agreeing with the other person. It means trying to understand theirs.

For some people there is a fear to looking at others viewpoints. I have heard people say, what if I am wrong and what if everything that I have believed is wrong?

First, just because ours are different, doesn't mean you are wrong. It just means different. This is a lesson that many people in the world still need to understand in order for compassion and wisdom to enter into their lives. Sadly, there are many who would rather live a life of horror and devastation rather that see that there are different ways of doing things.

Ask yourself, if you ever believed that you had to get others to accept your way of seeing things? Even if you had force it on them. And ask, why?

If you believe that only your viewpoint is right, you make everyone else wrong. In the right / wrong game, there is no understanding, no connection, no communication, and ultimately, no achieving what you desire to. People get defensive when they believe that you are making them wrong, just because you see things differently from them.

For example, the words new, expensive and luxury have different meanings for different people. To one person, new may mean getting an outfit at a second hand store. It is new to that person. To another, new would be never worn by anyone. An expensive item to one person may be a $20.00 gift and to another it would be a $1,000.00.

Luxury items to one person my mean, TV, a trip, a computer and to another these items may be considered a necessity. None is right or wrong, they are just different outlooks with different values. Ask yourself, what do I consider luxury and necessity and why?

Often our assumptions form our views and we look for facts that help prove this. We can even start seeing things that are not there, just to prove we are right. When we stop to realize there may be different ways of looking at things and different possible conclusions, we then can take a step back and see from the others viewpoint. We can then connect with them and see life and other people on a completely new level.

Remember from A to C there are many paths of B. Just because you found one does not make it the only way.

Steven Covey stated it succinctly when he said, We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions.

I wish you great joy and amazement as you discover this for yourself.

All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator

To sign up for a free report on "The 7 Secrets to Communication Mastery" go to:
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P.S. If you like what you're reading in this newsletter, you'll love the book,
"Overcoming Barriers to Communication"
It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help you overcome
challenges in communicating and connecting with others.
Overcoming Barriers to Communciation

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Indian paramilitary soldiers stand guard during heightened security checks at Chennai International airport in Chennai, India, Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008. Indian airports were put on high alert after the government received warnings of possible airborne attacks. (AP Photo)AP - A Pakistani militant group apparently used an Indian operative as far back as 2007 to scout targets for the elaborate plot against India's financial capital, authorities said Thursday, a blow to Indian officials who have blamed the deadly attacks entirely on Pakistani extremists.



Auto executives, from left, General Motors Chief Executive Officer Richard Wagoner, UAW President Ron Gettelfinger,  Ford Chief Executive Officer Alan Mulally, and Chrysler Chief Executive Officer Robert Nardelli testify on Capitol Hill in Washington, Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008, before a Senate Banking Committee hearing on the auto industry bailout.  (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)AP - U.S. automakers drew fresh skepticism from lawmakers Thursday in a rocky confrontation over their pleas for an expanded $34 billion rescue package they say they need to survive. Congressional analysts said one bailout plan under consideration would fall short of what the carmakers want.



AP - Blackwater Worldwide guards involved in the deadly 2007 Baghdad shooting of Iraqi civilians could face mandatory 30-year prison sentences under an aggressive anti-drug law being considered as the Justice Department readies indictments, people close to the case said.

A wounded Iraqi policeman is brought to a hospital in Baghdad, Iraq, Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008. The man was among two policemen wounded when their patrol car was struck by a roadside bomb. i(AP Photo/Karim Kadim)AP - Suicide bombers killed 17 people — including two American soldiers — and wounded more than 100 in a string of blasts in two Iraqi cities Thursday as a timetable for withdrawing all U.S. troops won final government approval.



Caren Ramirez is shown in this booking photo provided by the San Joaquin County Sheriff's Department on Wednesday, Dec. 3, 2008. Ramirez was arrested in connection with alleged abuse against her 17 year-old nephew who showed up Monday, Dec. 1, 2008 at a northern California gym with a chain locked to his ankle. (AP Photo/ San Joaquin County Sheriff's Department)AP - A California couple has been charged with kidnapping and torturing a 17-year-old boy police say they sometimes kept shackled in their home.



Good Samaritan Society nursing home in Albert Lea, Minn. is seen in an August 208 photo. Two teenage girls who worked at Good Samaritan Society nursing home have been charged with abuse, accused of taunting, spitting on and groping the breasts and genitals of residents who suffered from Alzheimer's disease and other dementia disorders in a complaint filed Monday, Dec. 1. 2008. Brianna Broitzman, 19, and Ashton Larson, 18, were charged as adults.  Four other teens who worked with them at the Good Samaritan Society were charged as juveniles for failing to report the incidents.(AP Photo/Albert Lea Tribune, Brie Cohen)AP - Two teenage girls who worked at a nursing home have been charged with abuse, accused of taunting, spitting on and groping residents who suffered from Alzheimer's disease.



In this photo taken Oct. 29, 2005, Dominic Spano, front, of New Milford, Conn., and his son, Michael Spano, 12, load an MG-42 machine gun during the Westfield Sportsman's Club's annual Machine Gun Shoot and Firearms Expo at the club ground in Westfield, Mass. It was announced Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008, that Dominic Spano and two other men were indicted on charges of involuntary manslaughter in the death of 8-year-old Christopher Bizilj, who accidentally shot himself in the head with an Uzi during a gun show at the Westfield club in October 2008.  (AP Photo/The Republican, Christopher Evans)AP - Three men, including a small-town police chief, were indicted Thursday on involuntary manslaughter counts in the gun-fair death of an 8-year-old who accidentally shot himself in the head with an Uzi that a prosecutor said he never should have been allowed to handle.



In this April 19, 2007 file photo, Erik Estrada poses on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles.  (AP Photo/Nick Ut, file)AP - Erik Estrada has returned to Muncie to take part in overnight police patrols in the city where he starred in the short-lived reality series "Armed & Famous." The former star of the 1970s motorcycle cop drama "CHiPs" is a reserve officer on the Muncie Police Department.



AP - A New Jersey woman is suing a Pennsylvania sports bar and restaurant, saying she got stuck inside a toilet bowl for 20 minutes when the seat broke. Kathleen Hewko, of Delran Township, said she was in the bathroom at Starters Pub in an Allentown suburb when the handicapped toilet seat she was sitting on cracked and dumped her into the bowl.

Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery leaves a meeting with NHL commissioner Gary Bettman Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008  in New York. The NHL suspended  Avery indefinitely on Tuesday, Dec. 2 for making a crude reference to former girlfriends while talking with reporters. (AP Photo/Frank Franklin II)AP - Sean Avery surged past camera crews and reporters Thursday, choosing to save his comments this time for NHL commissioner Gary Bettman during a three-hour disciplinary hearing. The Dallas Stars forward was suspended indefinitely on Tuesday just hours after he used a crude expression to describe former girlfriends now dating others while speaking to reporters.



Richard Wagoner (R), chairman and CEO of General Motors, and an aide arrive to testify before the Senate Banking Committee hearing on the financial assistance package for the big Detroit automakers on Capitol Hill, December 4, 2008. (Larry Downing/Reuters)Reuters - The top executives of the major U.S. automakers faced skeptical questioning on Capitol Hill as they pleaded for $34 billion in federal aid and warned of a possible collapse that would jeopardize millions of jobs.



The AT and T logo in an undated photo. AT and T said on Thursday it would eliminate 12,000 jobs, about 4 percent of its workforce, as it joins a raft of corporations trying to slash costs in the face of the economic downturn. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Top U.S. phone company AT&T Inc said it will eliminate 12,000 jobs, or about 4 percent of its workforce, in a fresh wave of cuts to cope with an economic downturn that has exacerbated a decline in traditional phone sales.



A job seeker visits the ASSEDIC (jobless insurance) agency booth in Marseille, December 2, 2008. (Jean-Paul Pelissier/Reuters)Reuters - The European Central Bank, Britain and Sweden all made big cuts in interest rates on Thursday to shore up economies across Europe in the face of ever-bleaker financial news.



Closed circuit television footage released on December 3, 2008 shows gunmen walking across a parking lot after a shooting spree at the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus train station in Mumbai on November 26, 2008. (Investigating Team Video via Reuters TV/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Thursday Pakistan had given assurances of its commitment to root out terrorism and round up anyone connected to last week's attack in the Indian city of Mumbai.



U.S. soldiers of 2nd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division stands guard outside a mosque in the Hurriya district northwest of Baghdad December 3, 2008. (Erik de Castro/Reuters)Reuters - Iraq's Presidency Council has approved a security pact with the United States that paves the way for a complete U.S. troop pullout by the end of 2011, a spokesman for the council said on Thursday.



A shopkeeper is seen at an electronics shop in Moscow during Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's annual question-and-answer session with the Russian people, December 4, 2008. (Denis Sinyakov/Reuters)Reuters - The United States will quickly feel a change in attitude from Moscow if President-elect Barack Obama transforms Washington's policies toward Russia, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said on Thursday.



Thailand's revered King Bhumibol Adulyadej attends the annual Trooping of the Colour, an annual military parade, in Bangkok's Royal Plaza, December 2, 2008. (Adrees Latif/Reuters)Reuters - Thailand's revered and influential king missed his traditional birthday eve address due to illness on Thursday, a speech many Thais had hoped would provide short-term relief to the country's intractable political crisis.



A still from a 2002 advertising campaign launched by the U.S. government to persuade Muslims around the world that U.S. Muslims are free to live and worship as they wish. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Hate crimes against Arab Americans have decreased steadily since the September 11 attacks but are still more common than they were before the hijackings, a civil rights group said on Thursday.



European Central Bank (ECB) President Jean-Claude Trichet gives a press conference after a meeting of ECB governors in Brussels. Leading European central banks took historic action Thursday to ward off spreading recessions, slashing their key lending rates to boost businesses and consumers.(AFP/BELGA/Dirk Waem)AFP - Leading European central banks took historic action Thursday to ward off spreading recessions, slashing their key lending rates to boost businesses and consumers.



A map locating the western Iraqi city of Fallujah. Car bombers killed at least 15 people in a former rebel bastion on Thursday as Iraq's security pact with Washington won final approval before its launch at the end of the month.(AFP/Graphic)AFP - Car bombers killed at least 15 people in a former rebel bastion on Thursday as Iraq's security pact with Washington won final approval before its launch at the end of the month.




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