How Parents Can Help Allieviate The Stress of Getting Into College

Getting into college is a stressful experience for most high school students. However, there are steps that parents can take to help alleviate the stress and make the experience more positive. To begin with, parents should make the process about "you" not "we" when discussing college choices, allowing the student to have a sense of empowerment or independence over the college selection and application process.

Parents should NEVER fill out applications, call schools or schedule appointments for their children with guidance counselors or admissions officers. High School students are quite capable of doing the work necessary for "getting in" to college. Parents should be open to the schools that their children are leaning toward and not fall into the "one school only" trap as the ultimate prize and reward. Always remember that the emphasis is on enjoying the learning experience, not winning. There are over 3,500 colleges in the US and only 200 of them accept fewer than _ of their applicants.

It is less important to push your child towards a prestigious school than it is to focus on the school that provides the proper match for successful learning and a meaningful college experience. Encourage your child to research schools early and make several visits to college campuses. Plan to accompany your child on these visits, but allow your child the freedom to explore and ask questions independently. Be supportive and encourage your child to do mock interviews with other adults to prepare for the college visits.

If possible, begin the college planning process in the 9th grade, so that your child can proceed in "baby steps" instead of at a fast-paced schedule. Parents need to remind their children that there are many colleges and many options and that it is "okay" if students don't get into their first choice selections.

--Katherine Cohen, President & CEO IvyWise LLC http://www.ivywise.com

Katherie Cohen, Ph.D. is the founder and CEO of IvyWise, http://www.ivywise.com a comprehensive educational consulting company. Dr. Cohen graduated from Brown University in 1989 and continued her studies at Yale University, receiving Masters degrees in 1992 and 1994, and a Ph.D. in 1997. She received certification in College Admissions Counseling from U.C.L.A.

Dr. Cohen is the author of two books on college admissions. The Truth About Getting In, which serves as a detailed manual for approaching the college admissions application process and Rock Hard Apps: How to Write a Killer College Application, which follows three students through the college application process and uses dozens of other real applications to illustrate what's effective in a college application, and what's not.

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President-elect Barack Obama listens to a question at a news conference in Chicago, Wednesday, Dec. 3, 2008. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - Democrats are growing impatient with President-elect Barack Obama's refusal to inject himself in the major economic crises confronting the country. Obama has sidestepped some policy questions by saying there is only one president at a time. But the dodge is wearing thin.



Auto executives, from left, General Motors Chief Executive Officer Richard Wagoner, UAW President Ron Gettelfinger,  Ford Chief Executive Officer Alan Mulally, and Chrysler Chief Executive Officer Robert Nardelli testify on Capitol Hill in Washington, Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008, before a Senate Banking Committee hearing on the auto industry bailout.  (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)AP - Desperate U.S. automakers ran into fresh obstacles from skeptical lawmakers Thursday as they appealed with rising urgency — and a new dose of humility — for a $34 billion bailout. Without help, said one senator, "we're looking at a death sentence."



Indian paramilitary soldiers stand guard during heightened security checks at Chennai International airport in Chennai, India, Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008. Indian airports were put on high alert after the government received warnings of possible airborne attacks. (AP Photo)AP - A Pakistani militant group apparently used an Indian operative as far back as 2007 to scout targets for the elaborate plot against India's financial capital, authorities said Thursday, a blow to Indian officials who have blamed the deadly attacks entirely on Pakistani extremists.



In this March 31, 2004 file photo, the entrance to the Blackwater Security Consulting Firearms Training Center is seen in Moyock, N.C. Blackwater Worldwide guards involved in the deadly 2007 Baghdad shooting of Iraqi civilians could face mandatory 30-year prison sentences under an aggressive anti-drug law being considered as the Justice Department readies indictments, people close to the case said Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008.  (AP Photo/Yoon S. Byun, File)AP - Blackwater Worldwide guards involved in the deadly 2007 Baghdad shooting of Iraqi civilians could face mandatory 30-year prison sentences under an aggressive anti-drug law being considered as the Justice Department readies indictments, people close to the case said.



Kelly Layne Lau, 30, and her husband Michael Schumacher, 34, appear in a Stockton, Calif., courtroom on Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008. Both are charged  with kidnapping and torturing a 17-year-old boy authorities say was sometimes kept shackled inside their home.  (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)AP - A husband and wife were charged Thursday with kidnapping and torturing a 17-year-old boy authorities say was sometimes kept shackled inside their home. The boy's one-time guardian also was charged with similar abuse allegations.



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This May 2008 photo provided by attorney Ezra B. Glaser shows his client, Doreen Giuliano, AKA Dee Quinn, and juror Jason Allo at a Brooklyn, New York bar, during  one of their last meetings in Giuliano's sting operation against Allo. What Allo, 33, thought was an innocent friendship with Giuliano, 47, in reality was an amateur sting operation by a desperate mother obsessed with saving her son from life behind bars. What Allo didn't know: Giuliano had undergone an extreme makeover - blonde dye job, fake tan, sexy wardrobe, phony name - to conceal her real identity and lure him into a trap that would expose his hidden misdeeds as a juror at her son's murder trial. The saga has become the basis for a defense motion filed this week demanding the verdict be set aside. (AP Photo/Ezra B. Glaser, Esq.)AP - Doreen Giuliano was obsessed with saving her son from a life behind bars after he was convicted of murder. She gave herself an extreme makeover — blonde dye job, fake tan, sexy wardrobe, phony name — and began spying on jurors. She befriended one juror to root out any possible misdeeds at the trial, and for nearly eight months, they drank at bars, smoked marijuana and shared meals in her tiny Brooklyn hideaway.



In this April 19, 2007 file photo, Erik Estrada poses on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles.  (AP Photo/Nick Ut, file)AP - Erik Estrada has returned to Muncie to take part in overnight police patrols in the city where he starred in the short-lived reality series "Armed & Famous." The former star of the 1970s motorcycle cop drama "CHiPs" is a reserve officer on the Muncie Police Department.



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Richard Wagoner, Chairman and CEO of General Motors, testifies during the Senate Banking Committee hearing on the financial assistance package for the big Detroit automakers on Capitol Hill, December 4, 2008. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)Reuters - The CEOs of General Motors Corp and Chrysler LLC said they would consider restarting talks about a merger during a nearly six-hour congressional grilling on the industry's pleas for $34 billion in government aid.



The AT and T logo in an undated photo. AT and T said on Thursday it would eliminate 12,000 jobs, about 4 percent of its workforce, as it joins a raft of corporations trying to slash costs in the face of the economic downturn. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Top U.S. phone company AT&T Inc said it will eliminate 12,000 jobs, or about 4 percent of its workforce, in a fresh wave of cuts to cope with an economic downturn that has exacerbated a decline in traditional phone sales.



European Central Bank (ECB) President Jean-Claude Trichet (L) and Belgium's National Bank Governor Guy Quaden arrive for a news conference at the end of an ECB Governors Council meeting in Brussels, December 4, 2008. (Eric Vidal/Reuters)Reuters - Central banks in Europe slashed their benchmark interest rates by record amounts on Thursday to fight the global economic crisis, while U.S. automakers pleaded for a bailout to avoid collapse.



Closed circuit television footage released on December 3, 2008 shows gunmen walking across a parking lot after a shooting spree at the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus train station in Mumbai on November 26, 2008. (Investigating Team Video via Reuters TV/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Thursday Pakistan had given assurances of its commitment to root out terrorism and round up anyone connected to last week's attack in the Indian city of Mumbai.



U.S. soldiers of 2nd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division stands guard outside a mosque in the Hurriya district northwest of Baghdad December 3, 2008. (Erik de Castro/Reuters)Reuters - Iraq's Presidency Council has approved a security pact with the United States that paves the way for a complete U.S. troop pullout by the end of 2011, a spokesman for the council said on Thursday.



A shopkeeper is seen at an electronics shop in Moscow during Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's annual question-and-answer session with the Russian people, December 4, 2008. (Denis Sinyakov/Reuters)Reuters - The United States will quickly feel a change in attitude from Moscow if President-elect Barack Obama transforms Washington's policies toward Russia, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said on Thursday.



Thailand's revered King Bhumibol Adulyadej attends the annual Trooping of the Colour, an annual military parade, in Bangkok's Royal Plaza, December 2, 2008. (Adrees Latif/Reuters)Reuters - Thailand's revered and influential king missed his traditional birthday eve address due to illness on Thursday, a speech many Thais had hoped would provide short-term relief to the country's intractable political crisis.



A still from a 2002 advertising campaign launched by the U.S. government to persuade Muslims around the world that U.S. Muslims are free to live and worship as they wish. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Hate crimes against Arab Americans have decreased steadily since the September 11 attacks but are still more common than they were before the hijackings, a civil rights group said on Thursday.



European Central Bank (ECB) President Jean-Claude Trichet gives a press conference after a meeting of ECB governors in Brussels. Leading European central banks took historic action Thursday to ward off spreading recessions, slashing their key lending rates to boost businesses and consumers.(AFP/BELGA/Dirk Waem)AFP - Leading European central banks took historic action Thursday to ward off spreading recessions, slashing their key lending rates to boost businesses and consumers.



A map locating the western Iraqi city of Fallujah. Car bombers killed at least 15 people in a former rebel bastion on Thursday as Iraq's security pact with Washington won final approval before its launch at the end of the month.(AFP/Graphic)AFP - Car bombers killed at least 15 people in a former rebel bastion on Thursday as Iraq's security pact with Washington won final approval before its launch at the end of the month.




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