Parents: Take the SAT Challenge!

I keep a box of tissues on the table where I tutor because, as an SAT tutor and college application consultant, I listen to high school juniors and seniors who are so overwhelmed by college pressure that they begin to cry. Not just girls. Not just Ivy League aspirants.

High school students are always convinced their parents don't understand them. This time the students are right. Parents don't understand because the college admission process is so much more competitive than it was when most parents applied to college.

These are the ten things I wish I could tell parents:

1. I am convinced that parents have to walk a mile in the student's moccasins to gain some appreciation for the stress the students are under and to reverse the tension at home. If parents will take an SAT practice test they will feel some of the same anxiety, cringe at their results, and discover that the test is hard. Instead of piling 25 pounds of SAT study books on the desk, parents can commiserate with students over missed problems. Parents and students can become allies rather than adversaries as they face the college admission process.

2. Hire SAT prep tutors who focus on the applicable academic material rather than just the tricks. Increasing a student's academic preparation for the test in addition to teaching the tricks increases their confidence on the test and in the classroom; teaching only the tricks makes students more insecure because they are relying on tricks rather than on actual knowledge.

3. Have the tutors keep the parents informed about each session so that the parent tracks progress with the tutor rather than pestering the student for information.

4. Have the student try the ACT. All colleges accept it and some students do better on it than on the SAT.

5. Make learning fun. For example, have the students memorize vocabulary using the book Vocabulary Cartoons by Sam Burchers, et al. Also, have the student do the crossword and other word puzzles in SAT Vocabulary Express, the fun book of word puzzles that will increase SAT scores. I wrote it with Michael Ashley, a nationally known puzzler, so that our students would learn to play with words, an important skill for the new SAT.

6. Emphasize getting good grades rather than good SAT scores. Bs in honors classes are better than As in regular classes.

7. Hire an independent college counselor who will work with the family to create a realistic college list, brainstorm for essay topics, establish deadlines for the student, and check all college applications. High school college counselors are overworked and do not have the time to walk families through the process.

8. Realize that the schools parents attended may not be within reach for their child. The number of high school students planning to attend college has increased dramatically; the student may be well qualified for a particular college and may still not get in.

9. Look for colleges where the student will thrive academically and socially. Choosing colleges based on their name recognition and prestige value is a formula that will increase stress, not decrease it. Everyone else wants to go to those schools, too, making them even harder to get into; they are not necessarily the best place for the student. Loren Pope's book, Colleges That Change Lives, is a good place to start.

10. Support your child through a difficult process. Leave the prodding, nagging, and yelling to the tutors and college counselor. The independent college counselor will tell the student to work harder so the parent doesn't have to. Why ruin the student's last year at home?

Parents can make decisions so that senior year is not be so fraught with anxiety that family members begin to avoid each other. And, I hate it when my students cry.

Jacqueline Byrne
Author, SAT Vocabulary Express (McGraw Hill, 10/04)
Partner, Ivy Educational Services, Scotch Plains, New Jersey
http://www.ivyeducationalservices.com

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A trader works on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, November 20, 2008. (Shannon Stapleton/Reuters)AP - With no end in sight to economic bad news, President George W. Bush on Friday ensured that millions of laid-off workers will keep getting their unemployment checks as the year-end holidays approach.



Two people walk near the emergency entrance of George Washington University Hospital in the early morning hours of Friday, November 21, 2008 in Washington.Attorney General Michael Mukasey was taken to George Washington University Hospital after collapsing during a speech Thursday night.  (AP Photo/Lauren Victoria Burke)AP - Attorney General Michael Mukasey was conscious and alert early Friday — and took a get-well call from President Bush — just hours after he collapsed during a speech to a black-tie dinner.



A board on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange shows the closing number for the Dow Jones Industrial Average Thursday, Nov. 20, 2008.  Stocks have plunged again to levels not seen in more than five years as hopes fade that lawmakers will soon put together an aid package for U.S. automakers. (AP Photo/Richard Drew)AP - Wall Street found some relief Friday from a report that a pounded-down Citigroup Inc. might put itself up for sale. That prospect, along with the possibility that low prices will draw in bargain-hunters after two days of steep selling, sent stock futures sharply higher.



In a Jun 27, 2008 file photo  Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., takes the stage with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., at a campaign event in Unity, N.H.,    President-elect Barack Obama plans to nominate  Clinton as secretary of state after Thanksgiving, an aide to his transition said Thursday, Nov. 20, 2008. (AP Photo/Elise Amendola/file)AP - President-elect Barack Obama plans to nominate Hillary Rodham Clinton as secretary of state after Thanksgiving, a new milestone for the former first lady and a convergence of two political forces who fought hard for the presidency.



A protester uses his shoe to strike an effigy of U.S. President George. W. Bush, in an expression of contempt, as thousands of followers of Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr converged on Firdous Square in central Baghdad, Iraq for a mass prayer to protest a proposed U.S.-Iraqi security pact on Friday, Nov. 21, 2008.(AP Photo/Karim Kadim)AP - Followers of a Shiite cleric on Friday stomped on and burned an effigy of President George W. Bush in the same central Baghdad square where Iraqis beat a toppled statue of Saddam Hussein with their sandals five years earlier.



In this  Monday, Nov. 17, 2008 file photo, Lavennia Coover of Decatur, Neb., who gave up her 11 year-old son under Nebraska's safe haven law on Sept. 24, 2008, testifies before the Judiciary Committee, during a public hearing in Lincoln, Neb., on bills that would amend Nebraska's safe-haven law.  Friday, Nov. 21 will likely be the last day parents can abandon troubled teens at Nebraska hospitals, but lawmakers aren't patting themselves on the back. Instead, they're vowing to make sure families can get help in a crisis. (AP Photo/Nati Harnik)AP - Lawmakers are poised to close a loophole that led to troubled teens being abandoned at Nebraska hospitals, but they aren't stopping there. Instead, they're vowing to make sure families can get help in a crisis.



Authorities inspect the wreckage of a Cessna plane after it was  raised from the Amazon River in Huanta, in the Peruvian state of Iquitos, on April 26, 2001. A Peruvian air force jet which mistook it for a drug flight gunned it from the skies Friday. American missionary Veronica 'Roni' Bowers and her 7-month-old daughter Charity were killed in the April 20, 2001 attack. A classified CIA report on the 2001 shoot down of a small plane carrying American missionaries by the Peruvian air force suggests U.S. officials may have misled Congress and withheld information from the Justice Department.   (AP Photo/Silvia izquierdo, file)AP - The CIA withheld information from the White House, Justice Department and Congress about the 2001 shooting down of a plane over Peru carrying an American missionary family, part of a yearslong cover-up of lethal violations in U.S. drug-interdiction procedures, according to a classified internal CIA report.



In this Dec. 2, 2007 file photo, director Guy Ritchie and his wife Madonna attend a special screening of 'Revolver' in New York. A court schedule says Madonna and Guy Ritchie will be granted the first stage of their divorce in London Friday, Nov. 21, 2008. London's High Court lists 'Ciccone M L v Ritchie G S' as one of 16 cases listed for 'matrimonial and civil partnership causes for pronouncement of decree.'  (AP Photo/Evan Agostini, file)AP - The show-business marriage that began in a Scottish castle came to an end in a drab London courtroom Friday as Madonna and Guy Ritchie were granted a preliminary decree of divorce.



AP - R.J. Richard says he doesn't normally put his cell phone in his chest pocket. But he says it saved his life the one time he did.

Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu (43) brings down Cincinnati Bengals running back Chris Perry (23) after a gain of 15-yards during the fourth quarter of a  NFL football game  in Pittsburgh, Thursday, Nov. 20, 2008. The Steelers won 27-10. (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)AP - Ben Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers know exactly how to beat the Cincinnati Bengals — with or without Chad Ocho Cinco.



President-elect Barack Obama and Senator Hillary Clinton attend a campaign rally in Orlando, Florida, October 20, 2008. (Jim Young/Reuters)Reuters - Retired Marine Gen. James Jones emerged as a leading contender for White House national security adviser as President-elect Barack Obama worked on Thursday to assemble his foreign policy team.



A trader takes a moment's rest on the floor of the Philippine Stock Exchange which closed down 4.15 percent in today's trading in Makati City, Manila November 21, 2008. (Romeo Ranoco/Reuters)Reuters - Euro zone demand is plunging and price pressures vanishing, business surveys showed on Friday, while central bankers weighed the bleak prospect of deflation.



U.S. Attorney General Michael Mukasey addresses the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco, California in this March 27, 2008 file photo. (Robert Galbraith/Files/Reuters)Reuters - President George W. Bush spoke with U.S. Attorney General Michael Mukasey on Friday and the top U.S. law enforcement official sounded well after collapsing during a speech, the White House said.



President George W. Bush delivers remarks to employees at the Department of Transportation in Washington November 18, 2008. (Jason Reed/Reuters)Reuters - President George W. Bush on Friday signed into law an extension of unemployment benefits, the White House said.



Demonstrators chant slogans during a rally at Firdos square in Baghdad November 21, 2008. (Ceerwan Aziz/Reuters)Reuters - Followers of Shi'ite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr marched Friday against a pact letting U.S. forces stay in Iraq until 2011, toppling an effigy of President George W. Bush where U.S. troops once tore down a statue of Saddam Hussein.



Pedestrians walk past a Citibank branch in Singapore November 18, 2008. (Vivek Prakash/Reuters)Reuters - Citigroup Inc lost more than one-quarter of its market value on growing worries over whether it has enough capital to withstand billions of dollars of potential losses and despite new support from its largest individual investor.



The sign for the Verizon Wireless store is seen in Lakewood, Colorado September 11, 2007. (Rick Wilking/Reuters)Reuters - Verizon Wireless said on Thursday that some employees had gained unauthorized access and viewed a personal cell phone account held by President-elect Barack Obama that is now inactive.



Pirates holding the crew of the Chinese fishing vessel FV Tian Yu 8 guard their hostages as the ship passes through the Indian Ocean, November 17, 2008. (Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Jason R. Zalasky-US Navy/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Dozens of Somali Islamist insurgents entered a port on Friday in search of the pirate group behind the seizure of a Saudi supertanker that was the world's biggest hijack, a local elder said.



US soldier searches for insurgents during a patrol of Afghanistan's Kandahar province in 2007. The National Intelligence Council (NIC) report is vague about the outcome of current conflicts in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan.(AFP/File/Nicolas Asfouri)AFP - The use of nuclear weapons will grow increasingly likely by 2025, according to a bleak US intelligence report that warns that US global dominance is likely to weaken over the next two decades.



Iraqi Shiites protest in central Baghdad. Thousands of Shiite followers of the firebrand anti-American cleric Moqtada al-Sadr gathered in Baghdad to protest a security accord that would allow US troops to remain in Iraq until 2011.(AFP/Ali al-Saadi)AFP - Thousands of Shiite followers of the firebrand anti-American cleric Moqtada al-Sadr gathered in Baghdad on Friday to protest a security accord that would allow US troops to remain in Iraq until 2011.




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