Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source

Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look in the right places.

Seems simple enough right?

Yes, but...lots of people who are deciding about divorce and seeking divorce advice lump the categories of divorce advice into one, and that's a big mistake. You should seek divorce advice from different types of places for the different types of advice that you need. Certainly there's more types of divorce advice categories, but here's a partial list:

Divorce advice type 1:

Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are sure that you want a divorce, no matter how tough it will be to get that divorce.

When asking for this type of divorce advice while meeting with an attorney, you may be asked if you're certain that you actually do want a divorce?if you do, don't waver, stick to your decision. It makes sense to have a good idea of all of the parts of your life, family and materials, that could be affected or sought after. You want to have your facts, account names, timelines, etc., in mind when meeting with the attorney so that your discussion is maximized.

Divorce advice type 2:

Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are almost sure that you want a divorce, but want to make sure that the financial considerations are in order or that health of your children won't suffer in the long run.

When asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in family matters for the impact that a divorce might have on your children. The point is, split the two concerns up so that you get the chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.

Divorce advice type 3:

Legal advice for getting a divorce in a case that is relatively simple and will be a clean break, no financial or other family considerations to take into account for the divorce.

This is perhaps the easiest type of divorce advice to get because it infers that you have already made the decision from an emotional standpoint and really don't have any other considerations of deep concern. When seeking this type of divorce advice, you most likely have limited financial considerations, a prenuptial agreement, or the situation itself as amenable to everyone and you just need someone to do the paperwork.

Divorce advice type 4:

Legal and/or counseling advice regarding whether or not divorce is right for you from a psychological, emotional and financial perspective.

When asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in Clinical Psychology and "personal-life" coaching for the impact that a divorce might have on you. Again, the point is, split the two concerns up so that you get a chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.

Divorce advice type 5:

Counseling for emotional support when deciding whether or not you really want a divorce or are just unhappy in your marriage due to a marriage problem.

This type of divorce advice is crucial to your happiness because when you're in an emotional state, it is tough to make lucid and rational decisions. And, if you're wrestling with deciding whether or not to get a divorce (purely from an emotional perspective), you should do all you can to make a logical decision because how you approach this decision and the affects afterwards can be long lasting and far reaching. If you're are struggling with finding divorce advice, you may want to talk to friends, counselors, even other family members.

But, my divorce advice to you is, do it yourself.

I'm not saying don't talk with friends, counselors, and possibly family. What I am suggesting is that you reach the final decision of whether to get a divorce on your own, you have to live with it, no one else. The answer is inside you, you just have to get it out in a logical manner.

Whatever type of divorce advice you need, be sure that you're directing your energies in the right direction. If you don't separate the emotional aspects from the legal aspects of divorce advice, you might end up confused and unable to get the most out of any meeting you may have with an attorney or marriage counselor. At the end of the day, you should control your own destiny and make a smart decision based on logic, controlled emotion, and forward thinking.

Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients. Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!

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A pair of specialists work on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, Monday, Dec. 1, 2008. (AP Photo/Richard Drew)AP - Confirmation that the nation is in a recession and signs pointing to a prolonged downturn sent Wall Street plunging once again Monday, hurtling the Dow Jones industrials down nearly 700 points and more than half of last week's big gains. All the major indicators more than 7 percent, and the Standard & Poor's 500 index dropped nearly 9 percent.



President-elect Barack Obama, left, stands with Secretary of State-designate Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., center, and National Security Adviser-designate Ret. Marine Gen. James Jones, right, at a news conference in Chicago, Dec. 1, 2008. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)AP - President-elect Barack Obama picked a national security team headed by former campaign rival Hillary Rodham Clinton and Bush administration holdover Robert Gates on Monday, and said he wants to consult with military commanders before settling on a firm timetable to withdraw U.S. combat troops from Iraq.



A sale sign is posted at jewlery store in Daly City, Calif., Monday, Nov. 24, 2008. The economy took a tumble in the summer that was worse than first thought as American consumers throttled back their spending by the most in 28 years, further proof the country is almost certainly in the throes of a painful recession. (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)AP - The U.S. economy has been in a recession since December 2007, the National Bureau of Economic Research said Monday. The NBER — a private, nonprofit research organization — said its group of academic economists who determine business cycles met and decided that the U.S. recession began last December.



Tape covers bullet holes in the windows of the newly-reopened Refresh Cafe in the landmark Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus train station, in Mumbai, India, Monday Dec. 1, 2008.  This scarred and traumatized city struggled back to its feet Monday, reopening schools and businesses, as residents tried to come to terms with the string of terror attacks that brought bloodshed to the heart of Mumbai. The owner of the cafe said he had little choice but to reopen the fast food restaurant in the station, even though its glass wall is scarred with bullet holes, half his staff refused to come back and his brother is on a ventilator in the intensive care unit after being shot in the abdomen by the attackers. (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis)AP - India demanded Monday that Pakistan take "strong action" against those behind the deadly Mumbai attacks, and Washington pressured Islamabad to cooperate with the investigation.



Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, center, waves to a crowd during a campaign stop for U.S. Sen. Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga, Monday, Dec. 1, 2008 in Savannah, Ga. Chambliss and Democratic challenger Jim Martin are   in a Tuesday runoff that will shape Democrats' hold on power in Washington. (AP Photo/Stephen Morton)AP - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin urged Georgia voters to back Sen. Saxby Chambliss in Tuesday's runoff in an election eve appeal that underscored her popularity within the Republican Party and the GOP's efforts to stave off erosion of its shrinking Senate numbers.



U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice smiles during a press conference with  Britain's Foreign Secretary David Miliband after their meeting  in London, Monday, Dec. 1, 2008. President-elect  Barack Obama  announced Monday that Hillary Rodham Clinton  will be the next Secretary of State. (AP Photo/Akira Suemori)AP - Happily contemplating another woman as the top U.S. diplomat, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Monday she will offer advice, privately, and then get out of the way.



AP - Almost one in five young American adults has a personality disorder that interferes with everyday life, and even more abuse alcohol or drugs, researchers reported Monday in the most extensive study of its kind.

In this Oct. 29, 2007 file photo, socialite Ivana Trump and Rossano Rubicondi attend the 2007 G&P Foundation 10th Annual Angel Ball in New York. (AP Photo/Evan Agostini, file)AP - Ivana Trump has issued a statement confirming reports of marital discord with Italian entrepreneur Rossano Rubicondi. Trump, who married Rubicondi in April, says she filed a legal separation agreement three months ago. Trump says she kept quiet about it because she didn't want to ruin Rubicondi's chances as a contestant on the Italian edition of the reality TV show "Survivor."



AP - A man who rammed his truck into a woman's vehicle on a highway early Friday told authorities he crashed into her while going more than 100 mph because God told him "she needed to be taken off the road."

New York Giants' Plaxico Burress, right, arrives at Manhattan Supreme Court for arraignment with an unidentified man on Monday, Dec. 1, 2008 in New York. Burress accidentally shot himself at a Manhattan nightclub Friday evening and was treated at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center. He was released Saturday.  (AP Photo/David Karp)AP - Plaxico Burress was led out of a police precinct in handcuffs Monday after surrendering on a weapons possession charge, and authorities said that teammate Antonio Pierce is being investigated over his role in an accidental shooting at a Manhattan nightclub.



President-elect Barack Obama announces that Sen. Hillary Clinton will be his choice for Secretary of State during a news conference in Chicago December 1, 2008. (John Gress/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. President-elect Barack Obama named former rival Hillary Clinton as secretary of state on Monday and said Robert Gates would remain defense secretary in a national security team charged with recasting America's leadership role in the world.



A trader on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, November 13, 2008. (Brendan McDermid/Reuters)Reuters - Stocks tumbled on Monday as news pointing to the deepening economic slump around the world erased the bulk of last week's sharp gains, with financial services companies and retailers among Wall Street's biggest casualties.



Members of ZAKA, Israel's non-governmental rescue-and-recovery organization which specializes in collecting human remains to ensure a proper Jewish burial, speak with policemen after performing religious rituals in front of Nariman House in Mumbai's Colaba area, December 1, 2008. (Jayanta Shaw/Reuters)Reuters - India demanded Pakistan take decisive action over deadly attacks in Mumbai it said were carried out by militants from its nuclear-armed rival, while the West urged cooperation to ease tension.



President Bush and first lady Laura Bush walk to make a statement on the attacks in Mumbai on the South Lawn of the White House, November 29, 2008. (Yuri Gripas/Reuters)Reuters - President George W. Bush said the biggest regret of his presidency was flawed intelligence that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and told ABC "World News" in an interview airing on Monday that he was unprepared for war when he took office.



A woman watches as people shop in the Time's Square Toys 'R' Us store on 'Black Friday' in New York, November 28, 2008. (Brendan McDermid/Reuters)Reuters - The U.S. economy has slumped into a recession, the nation's business cycle arbiter declared on Monday, while European leaders clashed over how much public money to spend tackling a deepening downturn.



Speaker of the House Rep. Nancy Pelosi speaks during a news conference in the U.S. Capitol in Washington November 21, 2008. (Molly Riley/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. House of Representatives Speaker Nancy Pelosi met leading governors on Monday to discuss the size and shape of an economic stimulus package that one Democratic aide said was likely to cost around $500 billion.



An anti-government demonstrator chases after a suspected pro-government supporter in Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi Airport on December 1, 2008. (Kerek Wongsa =/Reuters)Reuters - Thai protesters prepared to end their three-month occupation of the Prime Minister's office on Monday to consolidate their grip on the main airport ahead of a court verdict that could dissolve the elected government.



Birmingham Mayor Larry P. Langford in an undated photo. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Federal authorities arrested the mayor of Birmingham, Alabama, on Monday in a corruption probe surrounding a massive sewer bond debt that has forced Jefferson County to the brink of bankruptcy.



Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano, President-elect Barack Obama's choice for homeland security chief, speaks at a press conference at the Hilton Hotel in Chicago, Illinois. Obama on Monday nominated Hillary Clinton to be his AFP - Barack Obama on Monday nominated Hillary Clinton to be his "tough," "smart" secretary of state as his former foe vowed to give her all to steer America through a storm of international crises.



Map locating the attacks in Mumbai. India has formally accused AFP - India on Monday formally accused "elements" in Pakistan of being behind the devastating Islamic militant attacks in Mumbai and demanded that Islamabad take "strong action".




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