How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About Divorce

An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce that occurs when there are no disagreements between spouses over divorce related issues like custody, finances, living arrangements, spousal support, child support, etc. An uncontested divorce can be an easy way for people to get divorced without the hassles of a legal struggle and undue wear and tear on emotions.

But, you may not be ready to seriously consider uncontested divorce if you're just thinking about it.

Thinking about an uncontested divorce can mean a variety of things from a psychological perspective...it could mean that you are really on the brink of divorce.

It could also mean that you're feeling frustrated and just want to end things as fast and quietly as possible. If this is the case, you may want to make sure that you aren't just being lazy and you should examine your reasons for divorce first before you go any further.

"Does it mean I am really ready for divorce just because I am starting to think about an uncontested divorce?"

Maybe, maybe not.

Here's a few things you might want to think about before going onto next steps with regards to an uncontested divorce, just to make sure that you're really ready to go through with it.

Uncontested divorce situation 1: You're thinking about an uncontested divorce because you want out but you aren't sure if your spouse is ready to call it quits.

This can be tough if you aren't careful. The main point of an uncontested divorce is to have both parties agree on things. If your spouse doesn't even know that you're thinking about getting a divorce, mentioning an uncontested divorce may result in an explosive discussion.

Uncontested divorce situation 2: You've both agreed that you'd like a divorce, but haven't really clearly defined why, you just know you both feel ending the marriage is best.

Maybe there's a chance to make your marriage work! Don't be too hasty. If you can't clearly define why you and your spouse want to end your marriage, you're acting on emotion rather than a healthy combination of emotion and logic. Sit down, think it through and have a detailed discussion around all of the details.

But, be careful...this can be a volatile situation if you haven't talked everything through and mutually agreed on how you'll actually implement your divorce decision to have an uncontested divorce.

If one of you is more demonstrative than the other or is usually the person who drives the decisions, that sense of control may carry over into the discussion of the terms of the uncontested divorce.

Uncontested divorce situation 3: You both agreed that you'd like a divorce (and you both know why), and you've successfully talked about and agreed on all of the details regarding the uncontested divorce.

Although it can be a sad situation most of the time, sometimes a divorce is actually a good thing unfortunately. If you and your spouse have amicably decided to part ways and can continue on as responsible happy adults, then an uncontested divorce can be an easy way to sever the relationship and all legal obligations. This is the best situation to be in if you're looking for an uncontested divorce...it should be simple to finish from this point.

Lots of people think about uncontested divorces and never go through with getting one because they actually work things out...and that's a great thing! And, some people think they want an uncontested divorce but haven't agreed on the details and terms, they're just looking for the fastest way to end the marriage. If this is the case, the relationship can turn from being amicable (and each party thinking they want a divorce) to being nasty and a resulting tug of war ensues with each person striving to get what they feel they deserve out of the divorce...and this can lead to a drawn out negotiation which certainly is not an uncontested divorce.

Be smart when you're considering an uncontested divorce...make sure that you're really ready to go through with it. Don't let the term 'uncontested' fool you, an attorney can ethically and legally on represent one of the married parties. But, if you and your spouse can truly be amicable and truthful, an uncontested divorce can be easy.

Karl Augustine

"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"

An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.

Deciding on Divorce

Uncontested Divorce

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A pair of specialists work on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, Monday, Dec. 1, 2008. (AP Photo/Richard Drew)AP - The stock market is plunging again, diving along with investors' confidence in the economy. Confirmation that the nation is in a recession and reports of only a modest gain in holiday shopping sales have prompted many investors to resume selling after the market's five-session advance.



President-elect Barack Obama, left, stands with Secretary of State-designate Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., center, and National Security Adviser-designate Ret. Marine Gen. James Jones, right, at a news conference in Chicago, Dec. 1, 2008. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)AP - President-elect Barack Obama picked a national security team headed by former campaign rival Hillary Rodham Clinton and Bush administration holdover Robert Gates on Monday, and said he wants to consult with military commanders before settling on a firm timetable to withdraw U.S. combat troops from Iraq.



A sale sign is posted at jewlery store in Daly City, Calif., Monday, Nov. 24, 2008. The economy took a tumble in the summer that was worse than first thought as American consumers throttled back their spending by the most in 28 years, further proof the country is almost certainly in the throes of a painful recession. (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)AP - The U.S. economy has been in a recession since December 2007, the National Bureau of Economic Research said Monday. The NBER — a private, nonprofit research organization — said its group of academic economists who determine business cycles met and decided that the U.S. recession began last December.



Tape covers bullet holes in the windows of the newly-reopened Refresh Cafe in the landmark Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus train station, in Mumbai, India, Monday Dec. 1, 2008.  This scarred and traumatized city struggled back to its feet Monday, reopening schools and businesses, as residents tried to come to terms with the string of terror attacks that brought bloodshed to the heart of Mumbai. The owner of the cafe said he had little choice but to reopen the fast food restaurant in the station, even though its glass wall is scarred with bullet holes, half his staff refused to come back and his brother is on a ventilator in the intensive care unit after being shot in the abdomen by the attackers. (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis)AP - India demanded Monday that Pakistan take "strong action" against those behind the deadly Mumbai attacks, and Washington pressured Islamabad to cooperate with the investigation.



Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, center, waves to a crowd during a campaign stop for U.S. Sen. Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga, Monday, Dec. 1, 2008 in Savannah, Ga. Chambliss and Democratic challenger Jim Martin are   in a Tuesday runoff that will shape Democrats' hold on power in Washington. (AP Photo/Stephen Morton)AP - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin implored Georgia Republicans to back Sen. Saxby Chambliss in his hotly contested Senate runoff, telling a cheering crowd Monday that the first step in rebuilding the GOP begins with the Southern state. The former vice presidential candidate made her first campaign appearance since the Republican ticket of John McCain and Palin lost on Nov. 4.



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Members of ZAKA, Israel's non-governmental rescue-and-recovery organization which specializes in collecting human remains to ensure a proper Jewish burial, speak with policemen after performing religious rituals in front of Nariman House in Mumbai's Colaba area, December 1, 2008. (Jayanta Shaw/Reuters)Reuters - India demanded Pakistan take decisive action over deadly attacks in Mumbai it said were carried out by militants from its nuclear-armed rival, while the West urged cooperation to ease tension.



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