What Do Your E-Mail Messages Say About You?

There probably isn't a business person alive who hasn't at one time or another experienced total frustration along with an inability to resolve a difficult business situation via e-mail. Sometimes without giving it much thought an e-mail is sent in anger. But angry, rude communication is not the way to win your case. In fact, for the most part, people will turn away and won't even hear what you're saying.

Catch More Flies With Honey Than Vinegar!

I am in no way implying a Pollyanna attitude, for that is the furthest thing from my mind. What I am suggesting is that you still catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Trying to get the good stuff with nasty behavior will never win you the prize but will instead leave you feeling more frustrated and angry. If someone has behaved poorly and you want to try and resolve the situation, effective results will only come about with well thought out communication. Nasty or unkind comments just won't cut it.

There Are Consequences to Rude Communication!

For the most part it's challenging to create a specific tone in an e-mail communication so e-mail messages can be easily misinterpreted. Although the sender may think he or she is conveying the situation reasonably, the words can easily be misperceived. So before sending an outraged, nasty e-mail think about the fact that harsh words don't mend fences. You may need to convey your anger but there is a way to do it effectively. Consider the following:

1. If a particular person or situation has upset you, start by taking a pause and silently counting to 10. Perhaps you could take a walk for a few minutes to cool down before addressing the situation.

2. When you respond, be professional in your communication. If you are unpleasant or rude, the person receiving the communication will turn off immediately and will have a hard time hearing what you're saying. If you're polite and honest you have a much better chance at being heard.

3. Try not to become defensive; pushing against will not result in resolution. If someone is expressing anger towards you, try to just receive it without defense. Later on when you've had a chance to calm down, you can respond with the appropriate words.

4. Be honest about your feelings but speak about you and your feelings and make every attempt not to blame the other person.

5. Writing is a wonderful tool for venting purposes so start by writing out your feelings but don't send the e-mail just yet. After you've released all your bad feelings, rewrite the letter with some diplomacy and tact.

6. Read your message silently and aloud. Better yet, have a trusted friend review the message before sending it. An objective party can help you determine if it's okay to send.

You can't take back abusive language and you certainly can't retrieve an e-mail once you've hit the send button so use caution. Just because you aren't seen is no excuse for behaving badly. And remember, our computer keyboard was not meant as a weapon but as a valuable tool for communication. So when you get ready to send that e-mail make sure that if it were printed in a newspaper you would be proud of how it read.

Copyright © 2005

Charlene Rashkow brings 15 years of experience as a Writing Stylist and Author to her creative efforts as a freelance writer. She has successfully helped companies and individuals reach their objectives by writing outstanding press releases, bios, articles of interest, business plans, resumes, web site content and all other forms of personal, professional and marketing material. Contact Charlene at http://www.allyourwritingneeds.com

In The News:

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In this Oct. 15, 2008 file photo, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, right, listens to Timothy Geithner, president of the New York Federal Reserve, before speaking at the Economic Club of New York. President-elect Barack Obama is likely to name Timothy Geithner as Treasury Secretary in a time of intense economic turmoil as he rounds out the upper echelon of his Cabinet, a senior Democratic official familiar with the deliberations said Friday. (AP Photo/Mark Lennihan)AP - President-elect Barack Obama intends to name Timothy Geithner, president of the New York Federal Reserve, as his treasury secretary to confront the nation's intense economic turmoil, senior Democratic officials said Friday.



President-elect Barack Obama, with money in hand, looks to pay for his order during a visit to Manny's Deli in Chicago, Friday, Nov. 21, 2008. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - While President-elect Barack Obama publicly sidelined himself during congressional debate over an auto industry bailout this week, he and his top aides quietly prodded congressional leaders to find a solution to rescue struggling automakers.



Nebraska lawmakers Tom Carlson, left, of Holdrege, Lowen Kruse of Omaha, John Wightman of Lexington, and Norm Wallman of Cortland visit briefly Friday, Nov. 21, 2008, on the floor of the legislature just before the final vote of LB1, which puts a 30-day age limit on children who can be dropped off at Nebraska hospitals under the safe haven law. The bill easily passed 43-5. (AP Photo/Bill Wolf)AP - Gov. Dave Heineman signed into law Friday a bill adding a 30-day age limit to a safe-haven law that allowed 35 children — including teenagers as old as 17 — to be abandoned at state hospitals. The law, approved hours earlier by the Legislature in a 45-3 vote, goes into effect Saturday, and makes Nebraska the 14th state with a 30-day age cap. It had been the only state with a safe-haven law without an age limit.



Joerg Schoenbohm, Brandeburg state Interior Minister and current chairman of the German Interior Ministers Conference, center, opens the final day of the ministers meeting in Potsdam, Germany, on Friday, Nov. 21, 2008. At left is German Federal Interior Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble. German security officials said Friday they will drop their attempt to pursue a ban of the Church of Scientology after finding insufficient evidence of unconstitutional activity.  (AP Photo/Bernd Settnik Pool)AP - Germany is dropping its pursuit of a ban on Scientology after finding insufficient evidence of illegal activity, security officials said Friday.



Canadian Minister of National Defense Peter MacKay, center, shakes hands with his Australian counterpart Joel Fitzgibbon, as U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates walks past at the conclusion of a news conference on Friday Nov. 21, 2008, in Cornwallis, Nova Scotia, Canada. The three are taking part in discussions of International Security Assistance Force's (ISAF) Regional Command South, which is comprised of forces from Canada, Australia, Denmark, Estonia, Netherlands, Romania, United Kingdom, and the United States. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Mike Dembeck)AP - Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Friday he would like to add significant U.S. forces to the war in Afghanistan before national elections scheduled for next year, and that grim depictions of backsliding in the seven-year-old war are "far too pessimistic."



AP - A college student committed suicide by taking a drug overdose in front of a live webcam as some computer users egged him on, others tried to talk him out of it, and another messaged OMG in horror when it became clear it was no joke. Some watchers contacted the Web site to notify police, but by the time officers entered Abraham Biggs' home — a scene also captured on the Internet — it was too late.

AP - The Nebraska Supreme Court on Friday ordered a year-old boy back into the home of an adoptive couple who had to give him up months ago after not telling the biological family the woman was pregnant.

Bulgarian archaeologists work near a Thracian bronze chariot discovered near the village of Karanovo. A bronze chariot dating back to the second century AD has been unearthed in a Thracian burial mound in southeastern Bulgaria, archaeologists said Friday.(AFP/BGNES)AP - Archaeologists have unearthed an elaborately decorated 1,800-year-old chariot sheathed in bronze at an ancient Thracian tomb in southeastern Bulgaria, the head of the excavation said Friday. "The lavishly ornamented four-wheel chariot dates back to the end of the second century A.D.," Veselin Ignatov told The Associated Press in a telephone interview from the site, near the southeastern village of Karanovo.



AP - Police have arrested a man suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints on the windows of stores, churches and schools in a small Nebraska town. A 35-year-old man was caught in the act by police early Wednesday morning, Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said Friday. The man hasn't been charged yet, but authorities believe he is the vandal some townsfolk have dubbed the "Butt Bandit."

In this Nov. 12, 2008, file photo, Memphis Grizzlies' Quinton Ross defends New York Knicks Jamal Crawford (11) as he shoots a three point shot in the third quarter of an NBA basketball game in Memphis, Tenn. The Golden State Warriors traded disgruntled forward Al Harrington to the New York Knicks for guard Jamal Crawford on Friday. (AP Photo/Nikki Boertman, File)AP - The New York Knicks traded Zach Randolph and Jamal Crawford in separate deals Friday, parting with their two top scorers to free up coveted salary-cap space for the summer of 2010. Crawford was sent to Golden State for forward Al Harrington. Hours later, Randolph was shipped to the Los Angeles Clippers along with reserve guard Mardy Collins for Cuttino Mobley and Tim Thomas.



(From left) Senator Hillary Clinton, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, and Timothy F. Geithner, President of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, are seen in a combination file photo. (From left Craig Mitchelldyer, Andrea Comas, Keith Bedford/Reuters)Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama on Friday moved toward nominating Timothy Geithner as Treasury secretary and charging the respected head of the New York Federal Reserve with helping pull the United States out of an economic nosedive.



Former Treasury Secretary Lawrence Summers (L) and Timothy Geithner, president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, in a composite image. (Files/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. President-elect Barack Obama may consider Lawrence Summers as a successor to Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, whose term expires in January 2010, a Democratic source told Reuters on Friday.



Pedestrians walk past a Citibank branch in Singapore November 18, 2008. (Vivek Prakash/Reuters)Reuters - Citigroup Inc has begun talks with the U.S. government as its plummeting share price raises doubts about the bank's ability to survive, a person familiar with the matter said.



Leaders of the U.S. automotive industry testify at a hearing held by the House Financial Services Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington November 19, 2008. From left are General Motors CEO Richard Wagoner, Chrysler Chairman and CEO Robert Nardelli and Ford president and CEO Alan Mulally. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)Reuters - Detroit automakers began work on turnaround plans demanded by Congress in return for $25 billion in aid as General Motors Corp said it would cut production more and give up two of its controversial corporate jets.



Traders work in close quarters on the main trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange early in the trading session in New York City, November 21, 2008. (Mike Segar/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. stocks stormed higher in a late rally on Friday to cap another volatile week as investors welcomed reports that President-elect Barack Obama has chosen his point person to combat the U.S. economic crisis, instilling confidence about the administration's ability to take action.



A British military vehicle drives past an Afghan man in Lashkar Gah, capital of Helmand province October 20, 2008. (Abdul Qodus/Reuters)Reuters - The Pentagon is considering a plan to send more than 20,000 troops to Afghanistan over the next 12 to 18 months to help safeguard elections and quell rising Taliban violence, officials said on Friday.



President Bush walks across the South Lawn to board Marine One at the White House, November 21, 2008. (Jim Young/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. President George W. Bush held talks on ending North Korea's nuclear program with Chinese leader Hu Jintao on Friday, the first in a series of meetings U.S. officials hope will lead to a renewal of six-party talks by early December.



A cleric walks past the national flag and a nuclear logo while visiting the International Koran exhibition at the Imam Khomeini grand mosque in Tehran September 3, 2008. (Morteza Nikoubazl/Reuters)Reuters - Iran rejected Friday U.S. reports it had enriched enough uranium to make an atom bomb, saying this would require steps it had ruled out like ejecting U.N. inspectors and leaving the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT).



Peruvian President Alan Garcia delivers a speech during the opening of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) CEO Summit in Lima. Leaders of the 21-member APEC group are to seek ways of turning back the world economic crisis as they gather in Lima amid unrelenting bad news from the Asia-Pacific region.(AFP/Presidencia)AFP - US President George W. Bush began Friday his last scheduled foreign trip, meeting the leader of increasingly important China ahead of a summit aimed at containing a spiraling financial crisis.



Children are being forcibly recruited into the ongoing conflict in Congo. Profile of a former child soldier. Duration: 02:06(AFPTV)AFP - Congo demanded a stronger mandate for UN troops in the conflict-torn east Friday, while residents of a squalid refugee camp said government soldiers killed a woman during a looting spree.




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