Home For The Holidays: Happy Times, Right

This time of the year is supposed to be happy. A time when family is warm and welcoming. A time for loving and feeling loved.

We watch the annual TV specials which emotionally choke us up. We watch those traditional, mushy movies like Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life which bring sentimental tears to our eyes. We watch those heartwrenching Hallmark commercials which make us sob dramatically. All of these portray the ideal and they always end happily.

But real life isn't like that.

Watching and listening to all the hype and sweetness reminds many of us of our losses. We think of the things we won't have this year, or any year ever again. The holiday season is actually the season of much depression and sadness. Just imagine for a moment how many losses a person of 70, 80 or 90 may have endured.

To help us understand those losses, here is a partial list.

  • Hair

  • Energy

  • Parents

  • Taut skin

  • Hearing

  • Stamina

  • Career

  • Muscle

  • Eyesight

  • Mobility

  • Attendance at house of worship

  • Hobbies

  • Figure

  • Friends

  • Car

  • Siblings

  • Independence

  • Spouse

  • Finances

  • Choice

  • Lifelong collections

  • Personal belongings

  • Purpose

  • Home

If the depression persists into the new year, get help from a mental health clinic. To voice the losses and the feelings can sometimes release them. Spend some time with elders this season and listen to their stories.

About The Author

Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters coach and author of several products to assist families experiencing aging including the pamphlet, Don't Be a Burden: 100 Tips. Get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com.

sospueblo@yahoo.com

In The News:

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Rep. Jack Franks (D-Woodstock) votes to recommend the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to the House during an Illinois House Impeachment Committee hearing Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, in Springfield, Ill. The committee voted unanimously to recommend impeachment putting the matter before the full house.  (AP Photo/Seth Perlman)AP - A key panel unanimously recommended impeachment for Gov. Rod Blagojevich on Thursday, setting up a vote that could make him the first governor to face such fate in Illinois' sordid political history. Blagojevich should lose his job for abusing power, mismanaging government and committing possible criminal acts, including federal allegations he tried to sell off a U.S. Senate seat, the special committee concluded.



Vice President Dick Cheney pauses during an interview with the Associated Press at the White House in Washington Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)AP - Vice President Dick Cheney said Thursday that he sees no reason for President George W. Bush to pre-emptively pardon anyone at the CIA involved in harsh interrogations of suspected terrorists. "I don't have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal," he said.



Palestinian demonstrators use sling-shots to hurl stones at Israeli soldiers during a demonstration against Israel's military operation in Gaza, in the West Bank village of Bilin, near Ramallah,Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday after a three-hour lull to allow delivery of humanitarian aid, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt. Despite the heavy fighting, strides appeared to be being made on the diplomatic front with the U.S. throwing its weight behind a deal being brokered by France and Egypt. (AP Photo/Muhammed Muheisen)AP - The U.N. suspended food deliveries to Gaza and the Red Cross accused Israel of blocking medical assistance after forces fired on aid workers, killing two, as the threat of a wider conflict emerged with Lebanon. With violence unabated in Gaza, key Arab nations and Western powers reached an agreement Thursday on a proposed U.N. resolution calling for an immediate and durable cease-fire between the two sides and moved for a vote late Thursday night.



President-elect Barack Obama speaks about the economy, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs. Senators from both parties agreed that Congress should do something to stimulate the economy. But Democratic senators emerging from a private meeting of the Senate Finance Committee criticized business and individual tax cuts in Obama's stimulus plan.



In this Jan. 5, 2009 file photo, disgraced financier Bernard Madoff leaves U.S. District Court in Manhattan after a bail hearing in New York. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens, File)AP - The many Bernard Madoff investors who withdrew money from their accounts over the years are now wrestling with an ethical and legal quandary.



U.S. General David Petraeus, the commander overseeing military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, talks during a conference in Rome December 9, 2008. (Tony Gentile/Reuters)AP - U.S. policy to win in Afghanistan must recognize the poor nation's limitations and its neighborhood, especially its intertwined relationship with U.S. terrorism-fighting ally Pakistan, the top U.S. military commander in the region said Thursday.



Directors of the BART transit agency listen to public comments on Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, in Oakland, Calif. Speakers criticized the agency for its handling of a New Year’s Days incident involving a BART police officer who shot and killed unarmed 22-year-old Oscar Grant. (AP Photo/Noah Berger)AP - In grainy cell-phone videos played over and over on the Internet, police officers force an unarmed black man to the ground and hold him face-down on a crowded train platform. Suddenly one of the officers draws his gun and fatally shoots the man in the back — then looks up.



AP - It is perhaps the most intriguing unsolved mystery from the gaudy gangland career of John Gotti: Whatever happened to the neighbor who accidentally ran over and killed the mobster's 12-year-old son — and then vanished?

AP - A Wise County man who would have been on probation for his drug conviction will now have to spend six months in jail — all because he fled before hearing the verdict and was captured after a high-speech chase through three counties.

Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford loosens up before the BCS Championship NCAA college football game against Florida on Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, in Miami. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)AP - The Oklahoma Sooners and the Florida Gators meet tonight for the BCS championship. It's a matchup that includes a pair of Heisman Trophy winners, an SEC vs. Big 12 debate and more than its share of trash talk.



Israeli soldiers take their positions during Israel's offensive in the Gaza Strip January 8, 2009, in this picture released by Israel's Defence Forces (IDF). (Doron Keren/IDF/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Recovery teams ventured into battlegrounds of the Gaza Strip on Thursday to gather bodies from the rubble, and Hamas officials said the Palestinian death toll in Israel's 13-day-old offensive had risen to 765.



President-elect Barack Obama at a news conference in Chicago, December 7, 2008. (Jeff Haynes/Reuters)Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama warned on Thursday the U.S. economy could stay mired in recession for years without bold action and he urged lawmakers to work day and night to pass a massive stimulus plan.



People taking the Long Island Foreclosure Tour arrive at a foreclosed home for sale in New Hyde Park, New York in this May 17, 2008 file photo. Citigroup could soon agree to principles that would let troubled borrowers save their homes through bankruptcy, sources familiar with the talks said on Thursday, while industry groups are easing their opposition to the plan. (Shannon Stapleton/Reuters)Reuters - Financial giant Citigroup Inc will support a proposal in Congress to rewrite U.S. bankruptcy law to help troubled mortgage borrowers avoid foreclosure, Chief Executive Vikram Pandit said on Thursday.



U.S. General David Petraeus, the commander overseeing military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, talks during a conference in Rome December 9, 2008. (Tony Gentile/Reuters)Reuters - The United States and its allies share some interests with Iran when it comes to stabilizing Afghanistan, Army Gen. David Petraeus, head of the U.S. military's Central Command, said on Thursday.



Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich gestures as he announces former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris as his choice to fill the vacant U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama during a news conference in Chicago, Illinois December 30, 2008. (Frank Polich/Reuters)Reuters - A legislative committee on Thursday recommended the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, citing widespread abuse of power including allegations he tried to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.



Bernard Madoff is escorted from Federal Court in New York January 5, 2009. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)Reuters - Accused swindler Bernard Madoff had signed checks totaling more than $173 million in his office desk ready to be sent out before his arrest, U.S. prosecutors said in court papers on Thursday asking a judge to jail him.



Virginia Governor Tim Kaine (L) delivers remarks after being announced as the new Democratic National Committee chairman by U.S. President-elect Barack Obama in Washington, January 8, 2009. (Jim Young/Reuters)Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama named Tim Kaine as head of the Democratic Party on Thursday, rewarding an early supporter with a high-profile political post even as he continues to serve as Virginia governor.



A customer shops at a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Rogers, Arkansas, June 5, 2008. (Jessica Rinaldi/Reuters)Reuters - Wal-Mart Stores Inc and other top U.S. retailers delivered disappointing December same-store sales and profit warnings on Thursday, sparking fresh recession concerns that hit stock and currency markets.



A wounded Palestinian is carried into Gaza City's al-Shifa hospital. Diplomatic efforts to end the Gaza conflict intensified Friday with Western and Arab diplomats agreeing to call for an immediate ceasefire as the death toll from the two-week-old war rose past 760.(AFP/Yassr Saymeh)AFP - Diplomatic efforts to end the Gaza conflict intensified Friday with Western and Arab diplomats agreeing to call for an immediate ceasefire as the death toll from the two-week-old war rose past 760.



A man carries firewood in the suburbs of Sofia, Bulgaria. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin agreed Thursday on the terms for the deployment of gas monitors in Ukraine, paving the way for an end to a Europe-wide energy crisis, the EU presidency said.(AFP/Dimitar Dilkoff)AFP - Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin agreed Thursday on the terms for the deployment of gas monitors in Ukraine, paving the way for an end to a Europe-wide energy crisis, the EU presidency said.




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