
According to a recent study by the internet cigar retailer WhatsKnotToLove.com, Father's Day -- that shameless day of the year when wives, daughters and sons have to publicly humiliate themselves in a quest for a gift they know will go unappreciated -- has become a national epidemic. More than sixty million American Fathers are affected by a disappointing Father's Day, and it is estimated that half of those try to conceal the fact with crooked smiles and unintelligible mumbles that invoke the Need a Moment? Twix Bar commercial. Fortunately, the disease rarely causes permanent disability -- if the syndrome is identified early and gift-givers comply with at least one of the five following treatment strategies.
#5. Buy Him a Cigar Cutter (Dad Would Really Like to Stop Clipping Cigars with his Teeth):
A fine fellow by the name of Kurt Van Keppel realized in 1994 that there were not many well-conceived alternatives to removing cigar tips with your teeth. Cheap cigar cutters were wobbly, dull and boring to look at, and expensive cigar cutters were -- well, wobbly, dull and boring to look at. So Kurt got together with his friend Scott to make a cigar cutter that was sturdy, long-lasting, could woo a date with its good looks, and was sharp enough to impress the Spanish Inquisition's guillotine squad. The result was the Xikar cigar cutter, now a market leader in the industry.
#4. Buy Him a Desktop Humidor (Dad's Tired of Storing His Cigars in a Roll of Socks):
It's a fact: most of us don't need a hutch-style humidor the size of a wardrobe that includes a gateway to Narnia. We just want the cigars we have to last and maybe something sleek for our desk that will impress our boss. Good quality desktop humidors are easier to find than ever, and you can purchase beautifully polished wood humidors that include a box of cigars as an added bonus. There is a great desktop humidor made by Caribe that includes fifty premium long filler San Marco cigars. If any gift could be a hole in one, this is it.
#3. Buy Him a Cool Ashtray So He Can Stop Using that One He Stole From The Bar:
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Why? Because cigar ashtrays are no longer black and white. They have style, personality and class. Thanks to the innovative thinking of noted South Beach artist and ceramist, Bram Warren, cigar ashtrays are so cool they can be used for interior design. Working with styles like "River Rock", "Celadon Crystal" and "Volcanic Ash", Warren combines colors including steel blue, sage, birch, merlot and bronze to make the most distinctive cigar ashtrays available. The only hard part is deciding which one to get.
#2. Stop Obsessing Over Which Cigars to Buy, Just Go For the Cigar Lover's Diary:
This is a no-brainer. Seven cigars that include a Don Diego Aniversario, an H. Upmann Vintage Cameroon, a Montecristo White, an Onyx Reserve, a Romeo Julieta Reserva Real, a Romeo Julieta Reserva Maduro, and a Trinidad all packaged within a diary-like book. Easy to wrap, easy to find and 0% chance of being a dud. If you close your eyes, you can see the smile wrapping around his face.
#1. Forget the Surprise Vacation, Give Him an S.T. Dupont Lighter:
You know that car commercial that explains the feeling of driving a traction controlled vehicle through the mountains with the windows down? It's like that. The perfect combination of function and luxury. With a characteristic sound, simple and elegant designs and unparalleled attention to detail, S.T. Dupont lighters will be cherished as much in five years as they were the day they were given.
Only by employing one of the above treatment strategies can America hope to reverse the epidemic of the disappointing Father's Day that is sweeping wildly across the nation. Now that you are equipped with this arsenal, you can freely explore the joy of the occasion with your favorite loved one.
Tynan Szvetecz is an editor for http://www.whatsknottolove.com, an online cigar boutique that is helping bring the feel of your local cigar shop to the internet. It features unique cigars as well as cigar tips, cigar culture advice and cigar accessories.
AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs. Senators from both parties agreed that Congress should do something to stimulate the economy. But Democratic senators emerging from a private meeting of the Senate Finance Committee criticized business and individual tax cuts in Obama's stimulus plan.
AP - Vice President Dick Cheney says that his boss, President George W. Bush, has no need to apologize to the American people for not doing more to head off the financial calamity, saying no one saw the crisis coming.
AP - The U.N. suspended aid shipments in the Gaza Strip on Thursday and the Red Cross restricted its convoys after their trucks came under Israeli fire. The threat of a wider conflict arose when militants in Lebanon fired two rockets into northern Israel.
AP - President-elect Barack Obama implored Congress to "act boldly and act now" on Thursday to fix an economy growing perilously weaker, and leading lawmakers set an informal goal of mid-February for enacting tax cuts and government spending that could cost as much as $1 trillion.
AP - The many Bernard Madoff investors who withdrew money from their accounts over the years are now wrestling with an ethical and legal quandary.
AP - U.S. Senate appointee Roland Burris said Thursday he's never been involved in an improper deal in his two decades in government and didn't strike any agreement to become embattled Gov. Rod Blagojevich's pick for the U.S. Senate.
AP - "Horrific" is how Tom Cruise described the sudden death of the son of his friend, John Travolta. Cruise struggled to maintain his composure as he spoke on "The View" about last week's death of 16-year-old Jett Travolta. "John just adored him, both of his children," Cruise said haltingly. "... It's something that I don't have the words for."
AP - After more than two decades with the Atlanta Braves, John Smoltz is ready to finish his stellar career wearing a different uniform. In a stunning end to one of baseball's longest runs, Smoltz reached a preliminary agreement Thursday on a $5.5 million, one-year contract with the Boston Red Sox after failing to work out a deal to return for his 22nd season with the Braves.
Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama warned on Thursday that the U.S. economy could stay mired in recession for years without bold action and he urged lawmakers to work day and night to pass a massive stimulus plan.
Reuters - Financial giant Citigroup Inc has agreed to support a controversial rewrite of U.S. bankruptcy law aimed at helping troubled mortgage borrowers avoid foreclosure, lawmakers said on Thursday.
Reuters - Recovery teams ventured into battlegrounds of the Gaza Strip on Thursday to gather bodies from the rubble, and Hamas officials said the Palestinian toll in Israel's 13 day-old offensive rose to 765 dead.
Reuters - Wal-Mart Stores Inc and other top U.S. retailers delivered disappointing December same-store sales and profit warnings on Thursday, sparking fresh recession concerns that hit stock and currency markets.
Reuters - Accused swindler Bernard Madoff had signed checks totaling more than $173 million in his office desk ready to be sent out before his arrest, U.S. prosecutors said in court papers on Thursday asking a judge to jail him.
Reuters - Moscow has agreed to deployment of international monitors to oversee the transit of Russian gas to EU states via Ukraine, clearing the way for the resumption of European gas supplies, the Czech EU presidency said.
Reuters - Economic weakness in Europe worsened and U.S. jobless rolls swelled as disappointing sales from Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, and other retailers on Thursday showed that consumers are still wary about opening up their pocketbooks in an uncertain economy.
AFP - A UN relief agency halted work in Gaza and protested to Israel on Thursday after an aid worker was killed, while the war death toll rose past 760 after dozens of bodies were found in rubble during a pause in bombing.
AFP - EU-sponsored talks collapsed Thursday between Russia and Ukraine on resolving a gas dispute that has cut supplies to Europe in the midst of a bitterly cold winter, with Moscow blamed for the failure.
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