
Holidays have the potential to send an adult with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) into overload. Too many details to plan, kids to manage, and family to cope with can turn a good day into a stressful one. The following suggestion can help adults manage ADD during the holidays.
1. Know Your Own ADD and Plan Ahead to Deal with It
You know yourself better than anyone, so ask yourself "How does my ADD affect me on the holidays?" Make a list of all the things that tend to stress you out on the holidays, and make a plan to deal with them.
Do you tend to say impulsive things that you later regret? Plan to take a deep breath before answering questions, so that you can think about your words before you speak them.
Do hyper kids overwhelm? Plan to excuse yourself and take a brief walk when the kids are so noisy that you can't think straight.
Does a family member really make you mad when s/he starts nagging or becomes critical? Plan a simple response that won't fuel the fire, like "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'd rather talk about a great book I'm reading right now."
Do you get antsy after a long day? Plan to end the day early, so that you don't reach the point of irritability.
2. Don't Expect Perfection
Accept that the day won't be perfect. Nothing is! Whether you are hosting the holiday, going to a friend or family member's, or visiting a restaurant, realize that something is bound to go wrong. That's life. Don't hold it against yourself, or the people around you. Whatever it is, do your best to move on and let it go.
3. Ask For Help/Accept Help
If you're hosting the holiday, ask for help in the kitchen. This is perfectly acceptable, and most people are happy to help out where they can. If you're offered help, accept it with gratitude! You don't have to do it all on your own.
If you're a guest, offer to take over a task that you're good at or don't mind doing. That doesn't necessarily mean offering to cook or serve, it can mean keeping the kids occupied! (Or, in my family, keeping the dogs out of the kitchen!)
4. Remember That People Do The Best They Can
Long days with family members can often end in frustration and hurt feelings. Try to remember that people do the best they can with the skills and tools they have. Hurtful comments probably aren't meant to be hurtful. If someone says something to you that you find hurtful or offensive, ask yourself "What is this person's intention?" The answer will most likely be "to be helpful." Don't hold it against friends and family members who may not have the necessary skills to express themselves effectively.
5. Smile!
Set the tone for those around you by being positive, smiling often, and enjoying yourself!
About The Author
© Copyright 2004
Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who helps adults manage their ADD and move forward in life. She offers a 90-day intensive skill-building program, workshops, and private coaching. Her work has been featured in numerous media, including The New York Times Magazine and The Times (UK). To subscribe to Jennifer's free email newsletter, The ADD Management Guide, please visit http://www.addmanagement.com/e-newsletter.htm.
AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs. Senators from both parties agreed that Congress should do something to stimulate the economy. But Democratic senators emerging from a private meeting of the Senate Finance Committee criticized business and individual tax cuts in Obama's stimulus plan.
AP - Vice President Dick Cheney says that his boss, President George W. Bush, has no need to apologize to the American people for not doing more to head off the financial calamity, saying no one saw the crisis coming.
AP - The U.N. suspended food deliveries to Gaza and the Red Cross accused Israel of blocking medical assistance after forces fired on aid workers, killing two, as the threat of a wider conflict emerged with Lebanon.
AP - An Illinois House committee has unanimously recommended that Gov. Rod Blagojevich (bluh-GOY'-uh-vich) be impeached for abuse of power.
AP - President-elect Barack Obama implored Congress on Thursday to "act boldly and act now" to fix an economy growing perilously weaker. Leading lawmakers set an informal goal of mid-February for enacting tax cuts and government spending that could cost as much as $1 trillion.
AP - The many Bernard Madoff investors who withdrew money from their accounts over the years are now wrestling with an ethical and legal quandary.
AP - In grainy cell-phone videos played over and over on the Internet, police officers force an unarmed black man to the ground and hold him face-down on a crowded train platform. Suddenly one of the officers draws his gun and fatally shoots the man in the back — then looks up.
AP - After more than two decades with the Atlanta Braves, John Smoltz is ready to finish his stellar career wearing a different uniform. In a stunning end to one of baseball's longest runs, Smoltz reached a preliminary agreement Thursday on a $5.5 million, one-year contract with the Boston Red Sox after failing to work out a deal to return for his 22nd season with the Braves.
Reuters - Recovery teams ventured into battlegrounds of the Gaza Strip on Thursday to gather bodies from the rubble, and Hamas officials said the Palestinian toll in Israel's 13 day-old offensive rose to 765 dead.
Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama warned on Thursday that the U.S. economy could stay mired in recession for years without bold action and he urged lawmakers to work day and night to pass a massive stimulus plan.
Reuters - Financial giant Citigroup Inc has agreed to support a rewrite of bankruptcy law being proposed in the U.S. Congress to help troubled mortgage borrowers avoid foreclosure, lawmakers said on Thursday.
Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama named Tim Kaine as head of the Democratic Party on Thursday, rewarding an early supporter with a high-profile political post even as he continues to serve as Virginia governor.
Reuters - Wal-Mart Stores Inc and other top U.S. retailers delivered disappointing December same-store sales and profit warnings on Thursday, sparking fresh recession concerns that hit stock and currency markets.
Reuters - Accused swindler Bernard Madoff had signed checks totaling more than $173 million in his office desk ready to be sent out before his arrest, U.S. prosecutors said in court papers on Thursday asking a judge to jail him.
Reuters - Europe on Friday looked for a swift restoration of gas supplies, after striking a deal with Moscow on monitoring gas shipments via Ukraine that have been halted by a rancorous pricing dispute with Kiev.
AFP - A UN relief agency halted work in Gaza and protested to Israel on Thursday after an aid worker was killed, while the war death toll rose past 760 after dozens of bodies were found in rubble during a pause in bombing.
AFP - Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin agreed Thursday on the terms for the deployment of gas monitors in Ukraine, paving the way for an end to a Europe-wide energy crisis, the EU presidency said.
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Holiday Holiday |