I am sick. I don't know what's wrong nor if what I have has an official name. Maybe they call it, "Ah-ha-now-you-can't-breathe-well-and-feel-like-you-are-going-to-die virus. I don't know. I will probably go to the doctor tomorrow if I am not feeling better.
Going to the doctor in Mexico is simply a delight. There are several reasons for my enchantment with going to Mexican doctors. One is that I can afford it. The best part, in fact, about going to the Mexican doctor is at the end of the visit when you have to pay less than $15.00 for an office call.
This is what you will hear your American doctor telling you,
"That will be all for today. Now be sure to pay your $150.00 DOLLAR office visit fee so you can help make the payment on my brand-new SUV. Be sure to take a look at it on your way back to your little rust bucket of a car. After all you are paying for it!"
You instead hear this from your Mexican doctor,
"That will be $150.00 PESOS (less than $15.00 USD). Oh thank you very much," the Mexican doctor tells you, "you are very kind."
Reason number two why I love going to the Mexican doctors is that, if you are a man, they do not ask you every single time to drop your pants to have a look at that worrisome prostate gland.
If you aren't a man then you have no idea of how obsessive the American medical community becomes about your prostate gland after you reach a certain age! After I hit 45-years old, each time I would go see the doctor, any doctor, they would always want to know when the last time I had my prostate gland looked at.
I would go to the doctor for:
· A sore throat: "Oh, that red throat sure looks bad," the doctor would say, "but let's have a look at your prostate while you are here."
· A cut finger requiring stitches: "There you go. That last stitch went in perfectly. Now strip off all your clothes, put on this gown, and I'll be right back."
· An asthma attack: "Oh, oh, oh my God! The lungs sound fine but I think I hear something in your prostate gland. Quick, let's have a look!"
· The neurologist slithers in:
"I think we need to look at your prostate."
"But doctor," you protest weakly, "I am here because my right leg has been numb for three months."
"Ah, yes. I think the prostate may be causing it. Bend over this table and let's have a go at it, shall we?"
American doctors will go to any means to get to have a look at your prostate. It is as though they win some sweepstakes for the most prostate glands they get to "have a look at." I just don't know!
The third reason I love going to the Mexican doctor is that they actually care about you. I am not making this up: They will call you at home, because they worry about your condition. If you are suppose to return to the doc for a follow-up visit and are one day late they call you to see if you are ok or what has happened to you. Can you even begin to fathom that?
When we came back from a Puerto Vallarta vacation, I contracted a jungle related rash. Don't ask me how. I was not swinging from disease carrying vines or rubbing up against something I should not have been. I just caught this hideous rash.
My Guanajuato doctor was treating me. It was rather a severe case and he got worried when I didn't return exactly on the 10th day he asked me to come back. So he called me up to see how I was doing.
I love Mexican doctors!
Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico.
His new book, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241
AP - President-elect Barack Obama intends to name Timothy Geithner, president of the New York Federal Reserve, as his treasury secretary to confront the nation's intense economic turmoil, senior Democratic officials said Friday.
AP - In a last dash of diplomacy, President George W. Bush on Friday sought China's help in pinning down North Korea to keep its shaky promises of nuclear disarmament.
AP - While President-elect Barack Obama publicly sidelined himself during congressional debate over an auto industry bailout this week, he and his top aides quietly prodded congressional leaders to find a solution to rescue struggling automakers.
AP - Gov. Dave Heineman signed into law Friday a bill adding a 30-day age limit to a safe-haven law that allowed 35 children — including teenagers as old as 17 — to be abandoned at state hospitals. The law, approved hours earlier by the Legislature in a 45-3 vote, goes into effect Saturday, and makes Nebraska the 14th state with a 30-day age cap. It had been the only state with a safe-haven law without an age limit.
AP - Germany is dropping its pursuit of a ban on Scientology after finding insufficient evidence of illegal activity, security officials said Friday.
AP - Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Friday he would like to add significant U.S. forces to the war in Afghanistan before national elections scheduled for next year, and that grim depictions of backsliding in the seven-year-old war are "far too pessimistic."
AP - Archaeologists have unearthed an elaborately decorated 1,800-year-old chariot sheathed in bronze at an ancient Thracian tomb in southeastern Bulgaria, the head of the excavation said Friday. "The lavishly ornamented four-wheel chariot dates back to the end of the second century A.D.," Veselin Ignatov told The Associated Press in a telephone interview from the site, near the southeastern village of Karanovo.
AP - The New York Knicks traded Zach Randolph and Jamal Crawford in separate deals Friday, parting with their two top scorers to free up coveted salary-cap space for the summer of 2010. Crawford was sent to Golden State for forward Al Harrington. Hours later, Randolph was shipped to the Los Angeles Clippers along with reserve guard Mardy Collins for Cuttino Mobley and Tim Thomas.
Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama on Friday moved toward nominating Timothy Geithner as Treasury secretary and charging the respected head of the New York Federal Reserve with helping pull the United States out of an economic nosedive.
Reuters - Citigroup Inc has begun talks with the U.S. government as its plummeting share price raises doubts about the bank's ability to survive, a person familiar with the matter said.
Reuters - Detroit automakers began work on turnaround plans demanded by Congress in return for $25 billion in aid as General Motors Corp said it would cut production more and give up two of its controversial corporate jets.
Reuters - The board of directors of embattled U.S. automaker General Motors Corp is considering "all options" including bankruptcy, according to a report on the Wall Street Journal's website late on Friday.
Reuters - U.S. stocks stormed higher in a late rally on Friday to cap another volatile week as investors welcomed reports that President-elect Barack Obama has chosen his point person to combat the U.S. economic crisis, instilling confidence about the administration's ability to take action.
Reuters - The Pentagon is considering a plan to send more than 20,000 troops to Afghanistan over the next 12 to 18 months to help safeguard elections and quell rising Taliban violence, officials said on Friday.
AFP - The economic team of US president-elect Barack Obama came into view as fears mounted on the global financial crisis and more mass job cuts loomed worldwide.
AFP - US President George W. Bush began Friday his last scheduled foreign trip, meeting the leader of increasingly important China ahead of a summit aimed at containing a spiraling financial crisis.
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