A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School

Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools, and my requests, I had been appointed to teach to a sixth-grade class. At least, I almost worked in my backyard. The morning classes went smoothly. I knew that my pupils were experiencing many new situations. In primary school, they were all day long in the same classroom with the same teacher, who knew them by their first name. During their first sixth-grade day, they met a different teacher at each hour, each time in another classroom that was to be found among hundreds. They were mainly concerned by finding and reaching the right room on time. Any of them would have been happy to recognize and to sit beside the girl or the boy they did not want to be seen with last year, when the world was not that large.

The afternoon classes began at two o'clock. (As much as possible, lunch time is scheduled on regular bases for the youngest.) I unlocked the classroom and let the children enter. I counted them as they passed in front of me. One was missing. I checked in the attendance notebook: no pupil was reported absent. I had no idea about what I was supposed to do and began to wonder how to report the fact, when TocTocToc, somebody knocked at the door.

- "Come in!" A little girl came in.

- "Excuse-me, Madame, I was lost." Before I could reprimand those who laughed, she began to vomit. I pointed a girl out: "Go to the infirmary with her." -"Where is it, Madame?" she asked.

I did not know. I had no time to reflect, the second girl vomited, then a boy, then I could count no longer.

I thought of a food poisoning and sent two pupils who looked in good health to warn the chief supervisor "or any grown up you find". Yes, I was losing my head at full speed!

At last, the cavalry came to the rescue: firemen (in France, they dealt with any emergency issue, not only fire), ambulances, the medical staff and the cleaning team.

As the pupils in the other classrooms were not affected, it could not be because of a food poisoning and No!, I am not noxious! The first girl vomitted because of her fear of being lost, late and alone. The others let themselves be led by her because they felt the same fear of being lost, late and alone.

To yawn is infectious also. I would have prefered she yawned.

Gabrielle Guichard is a French teacher who can be listened to on FrenchPodcasting.com.

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Palestinians pray over the bodies of  people killed near a United Nations school Tuesday, during their funeral in the Jebaliya refugee camp, in the northern Gaza Strip, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Israel's military paused its Gaza offensive for three hours Wednesday to allow food and fuel to reach besieged Palestinians, and the country's leaders debated whether to accept an international cease-fire plan or expand the assault against Hamas. With criticism rising of the operation's spiraling civilian death toll and Gazans increasingly suffering the effects of nonstop airstrikes and shelling, Israel's military said it opened 'humanitarian corridors' to allow aid supplies to reach Palestinians.(AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)AP - Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt after a three-hour lull to allow in humanitarian aid. Hamas responded with a rocket barrage.



President-elect Barack Obama gestures during a news conference at his transition office in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, where he introduced Nancy Killefer, not shown, to the newly created position of chief performance officer. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - Pointing with concern to "red ink as far as the eye can see," President-elect Barack Obama pledged Wednesday to tackle out-of-control Social Security and Medicare spending and named a special watchdog to clamp down on other federal programs — even as he campaigned anew to spend the largest pile of taxpayer money in history to revive the sinking economy.



Illinois U.S. Senate Appointee Roland Burris, left, meets with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nev., Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)AP - Senate Democrats beat a hasty retreat Wednesday from their rejection of Roland Burris as President-elect Barack Obama's successor, yielding to pressure from Obama himself and from senators irked that the standoff was draining attention and putting them in a bad light. Burris said with a smile he expected to join them "very shortly."



In this photo provided by the Washington State Department of Transportation, water rushes past a washed out road near Blewett Pass on U.S. highway 97 in Washington State on Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009 in Washington State. (AP Photo/Washington State Department of Transportation)AP - Rain and high winds lashed Washington state Wednesday, causing widespread avalanches, mudslides, flooding and road closures as the heavy snowfall that has buried parts of the state began to rapidly melt.



President-elect Barack Obama is welcomed by President George W. Bush for a meeting at the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, with former presidents, from left, George H.W. Bush, Bill  Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.  (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)AP - Confronting a grim economy and a Middle East on fire, Barack Obama turned Wednesday to perhaps the only people on the planet who understand what he's in for: the four living members of the U.S. presidents' club.



Workers put bullet proof glass on President-elect Barack Obama's Inaugural Reviewing Stand on Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House in Washington, Monday, Jan. 5, 2009. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)AP - The upcoming inauguration of Barack Obama is an attractive target for international and domestic terrorists, but U.S. intelligence officials have no information about specific threats to the Jan. 20 event.



AP - You've heard of making cheese from goats' milk, but prescription drugs? In what would be a scientific first, an anti-clotting drug made from the milk of genetically engineered goats moved closer to government approval Wednesday after experts at the Food and Drug Administration reported that the medication works and its safety is acceptable.

Christian Bale accepts the favorite action movie award for 'The Dark Knight' at the 35th Annual People's Choice Awards on Wednesday Jan. 7, 2009 in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)AP - Holy, People's Choice Awards, Batman! "The Dark Knight" soared away with every trophy it was nominated for Wednesday at the 35th annual fan-favorite CBS ceremony. The caped crusader flick won five awards, including favorite cast, superhero, action movie and on-screen matchup for Christian Bale's Batman and the late Heath Ledger's Joker.



Harvard's Jeremy Lin (4) drives for the basket in front of Boston College's Rakim Sanders in the first half of an NCAA college basketball game Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, in Boston. (AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)AP - Jeremy Lin scored 27 points to lead Harvard to an 82-70 upset over No. 17 Boston College on Wednesday night, three days after the Eagles upset previously top-ranked North Carolina.



In this  Sept. 28, 2008 file photo, New York Jets coach Eric Mangini gestures on the sidelines during the third quarter of an NFL football game against the Arizona Cardinals at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. The Cleveland Browns have agreed to hire Eric Mangini as their head coach, a person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun, File)AP - Eric Mangini is the new head coach of the Cleveland Browns, a week after being fired by the New York Jets. A person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press that Mangini will be introduced Thursday at a news conference at the team's headquarters in Berea.



An Israeli soldier stands next to blindfolded Palestinian prisoners after they were arrested during an Israeli military operation in the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009, in this picture released by the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF). U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wednesday she had pressed Israel to seriously consider an Egyptian ceasefire plan as the U.N. Security Council weighed action to end Israel's attack on Gaza. (IDF/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Israeli warplanes bombed the Gaza Strip on Thursday and tanks pounded Palestinian guerrillas on the ground as U.S. backing for a proposed truce raised expectations of an end to the offensive.



Senate-designate Roland Burris talks with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in Reid's office on Capitol Hill, January 7, 2009. (Larry Downing/Reuters)Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday to swear in Roland Burris, appointed by embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate.



President Bush greets President-elect Barack Obama at the White House, November 10, 2008. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)Reuters - The U.S. budget deficit will swell to a record $1.186 trillion in fiscal 2009, congressional forecasters said on Wednesday, the result of an economic recession that has cut tax receipts and caused massive government bailouts of banks and automakers.



Reuters - U.S. cities are vulnerable to an attack like the gun-and-grenade assault that terrorized Mumbai for three days and killed 179 people, the White House homeland security adviser said on Wednesday.

Ali al-Marri, who has been held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, is seen in this undated photograph released to Reuters on January 6, 2008. An early test for President-elect Barack Obama will be the case of suspected al Qaeda 'sleeper' agent Marri, which will force Obama to take a position on his predecessor's claim that anyone the president deems a national security threat can be imprisoned indefinitely without charges in the United States. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - The case of Ali al-Marri, accused of being an al Qaeda "sleeper" agent and held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, will be an early test for President-elect Barack Obama.



Eggs are stacked up at an egg farm in San Diego County, July 29, 2008. (Mike Blake/Reuters)Reuters - An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states, sending 18 percent of them to the hospital, U.S. health officials said on Wednesday.



Bernard Madoff is escorted in a vehicle from Federal Court in New York, January 5, 2009. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)Reuters - Accused swindler Bernard Madoff should be jailed for violating a court order by mailing $1 million worth of diamonds, watches and other jewelry to friends and family, U.S. prosecutors told a court on Wednesday.



An Austrian hotel owner lights a gas stove. Envoys from Russia and Ukraine go to Brussels on Thursday for emergency EU-brokered talks to resolve a bitter gas fight between the two ex-Soviet giants that has engulfed Europe in a major energy crisis.(AFP/Joe Klamar)Reuters - Russia and Ukraine argue their case to Europe on Thursday in a gas price dispute that has choked off energy supplies to EU countries beset by bitter winter weather.



A Palestinian protestor flashes the V for 'victory' sign in front of an Israeli soldier near Damascus Gate in Jerusalem's old city. Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.(AFP/Ahmad Gharabli)AFP - Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.



A woman looks at a manometer set on a gas pipe at a compressor station in the Ukrainian city of Boyarka. Envoys from Russia and Ukraine go to Brussels on Thursday for emergency EU-brokered talks to resolve a bitter gas fight between the two ex-Soviet giants that has engulfed Europe in a major energy crisis.(AFP/File/Sergei Supinsky)AFP - Envoys from Russia and Ukraine go to Brussels on Thursday for emergency EU-brokered talks to resolve a bitter gas fight between the two ex-Soviet giants that has engulfed Europe in a major energy crisis.




Starbucks Going into Hilton

Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong, Crew Member... Read More

Beyond Black and White

Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a cup of... Read More

The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1

Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When... Read More

Dumb Luck

I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have... Read More

Pee Here Now

Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer... Read More

Eye Spy Potatoes

Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my contact lenses... Read More

Space, and the Room for It

Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of... Read More

Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying That

Movie moments are nice things to share with the people you care... Read More

3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices

I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about... Read More

Essential Laughter

Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in life. It... Read More

Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians

"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education... Read More

Got Originality?

There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I... Read More

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of... Read More

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook... Read More

Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry

A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about... Read More

Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise

While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent... Read More

Do Americans Really Understand Irony?

Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there... Read More

When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times

This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked forward to... Read More

To See Or Not To See

I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it... Read More

Bed Bugs Bite

I just turned on the news a minute ago and wondered why... Read More

Valet Parking: Theft with Consent

This column is long overdue. To put it in library terms, which... Read More

Important Safety Tip$

I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with... Read More

Finding Lost Children

A couple of days ago I had to go to a dealership... Read More

The Zapp Principle

My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was always a... Read More

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a... Read More

The Language of Appalachia

Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few years ago... Read More

The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach

The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in... Read More

Sell [Your] Phones

Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years... Read More

Freudian Slippage

Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the farmer's market... Read More

Setting History Straight

Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the name Artie... Read More

Humans are like Monkeys

Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in... Read More

Bad Days and Bad Timing

Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most... Read More

Computers According to Carol

A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for... Read More

The Hidden Driveway

I won't lie: there are a lot of things I want in... Read More

New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst

Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake... Read More

25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet

A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one... Read More

Sweet Vengeance Purrfected

I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about... Read More

Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is... Read More

Its All About Seeing the Signs

Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now,... Read More

He Had It Coming, Your Honor

This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around our sprawling... Read More

Cant Get There From Here

Can't Get... Read More

The Patience of Job

Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid... Read More

Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking

Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have... Read More

Mexican Spaminator

When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting... Read More

Funny Things We Dream

I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start... Read More

American Independence ? The True Story

It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham... Read More

And the World Goes Round

If you are a citizen of UK or Australia, you are permitted... Read More