The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Home
>
Humor & Entertainment
>
The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one. But a little comic relief laughing at ourselves is good for both our soul and our humility.

So without further ado, here are some of the all time worst piano jokes in descending order:

10. What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric piano have in common.

Answer: Both suck when you plug them in.

9. What does a piano player dream about?

Answer: Sheet music.

8. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

Answer: A flat minor.

7. What's the difference between a piano accompanianist and a terrorist?

Answer: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

6. How do you make a million dollars playing the piano? Answer: Start with two million.

5. How do you get two piano players to play in perfect unison?

Answer: Shoot one.

4. Did you hear about the piano player who played in rhythm?

Answer: Neither did I.

3. What's the difference between a piano and an onion?

Answer: No one cries when you chop up a piano.

2. What did the piano player get on his IQ test?

Answer: Drool.

1. What's the difference between a medium pizza and a piano player?

Answer: A pizza can feed a family of four.

Pretty bad, eh?

I agree. Now let's all get back to our piano practicing.

PS: None of these lousy jokes are original with me -- they have been around for ages in many forms.

Desiree Bruyere is a free-lance writer and amateur piano player who plays jazz & pop piano strictly for the love of it. She takes piano lessons online and on DVD from her native France, and got started by taking the free 2-year online course in http://www.playpiano.com/ Secrets of Exciting Piano Chords & Sizzling Chord Progressions offered worldwide, then later took the http://www.pianolessonsbyvideo.com/Crash Course In Exciting Piano Playing For Adults

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Gaza fighting rages despite cease-fire proposal (AP)

AP - Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt after a three-hour lull to allow in humanitarian aid. Hamas responded with a rocket barrage.

Pink slips pile higher amid deepening recession (AP)

AP - Pink slips are piling higher as companies scramble to cut costs even deeper to survive the country's economic and financial storms.

Obama taps spending watchdog, eyes Social Security (AP)

AP - Pointing with concern to "red ink as far as the eye can see," President-elect Barack Obama pledged Wednesday to tackle out-of-control Social Security and Medicare spending and named a special watchdog to clamp down on other federal programs even as he campaigned anew to spend the largest pile of taxpayer money in history to revive the sinking economy.

Senate Democrats yield to Obama, retreat on Burris (AP)

AP - Senate Democrats beat a hasty retreat Wednesday from their rejection of Roland Burris as President-elect Barack Obama's successor, yielding to pressure from Obama himself and from senators irked that the standoff was draining attention and putting them in a bad light. Burris said with a smile he expected to join them "very shortly."

Obama hails 'extraordinary' moment with presidents (AP)

AP - Confronting a grim economy and a Middle East on fire, Barack Obama turned Wednesday to perhaps the only people on the planet who understand what he's in for: the four living members of the U.S. presidents' club.

Melting snow causes heavy flooding in Wash. state (AP)

AP - Rain and high winds lashed Washington state Wednesday, causing widespread avalanches, mudslides, flooding and road closures as the heavy snowfall that has buried parts of the state began to rapidly melt.

Feds say inauguration attractive terrorist target (AP)

AP - The upcoming inauguration of Barack Obama is an attractive target for international and domestic terrorists, but U.S. intelligence officials have no information about specific threats to the Jan. 20 event.

'Dark Knight' sweeps People's Choice Awards (AP)

AP - Holy, People's Choice Awards, Batman! "The Dark Knight" soared away with every trophy it was nominated for Wednesday at the 35th annual fan-favorite CBS ceremony. The caped crusader flick won five awards, including favorite cast, superhero, action movie and on-screen matchup for Christian Bale's Batman and the late Heath Ledger's Joker.

Lin, Harvard upset No. 17 Boston College 82-70 (AP)

AP - Jeremy Lin scored 27 points to lead Harvard to an 82-70 upset over No. 17 Boston College on Wednesday night, three days after the Eagles upset previously top-ranked North Carolina.

AP source: Browns to hire Eric Mangini as coach (AP)

AP - Eric Mangini is the new head coach of the Cleveland Browns, a week after being fired by the New York Jets. A person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press that Mangini will be introduced Thursday at a news conference at the team's headquarters in Berea.

Israel bombards Gaza, U.S. backs ceasefire plan (Reuters)

Reuters - Israeli warplanes bombed the Gaza Strip on Thursday and tanks pounded Palestinian guerrillas on the ground as U.S. backing for a proposed truce raised expectations of an end to the offensive.

Profit warnings, job losses herald lasting slowdown (Reuters)

Reuters - A fresh wave of profit warnings and job cuts soured investor sentiment on Thursday after an employment report suggested U.S. job losses in December could be the worst in almost 60 years.

Senate Democrats move to seat Burris (Reuters)

Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday to swear in Roland Burris, appointed by embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate.

Budget deficit to hit $1.2 trillion in fiscal 2009 (Reuters)

Reuters - The U.S. budget deficit will swell to a record $1.186 trillion in fiscal 2009, congressional forecasters said on Wednesday, the result of an economic recession that has cut tax receipts and caused massive government bailouts of banks and automakers.

Mumbai-like attack could happen in U.S. : Bush aide (Reuters)

Reuters - U.S. cities are vulnerable to an attack like the gun-and-grenade assault that terrorized Mumbai for three days and killed 179 people, the White House homeland security adviser said on Wednesday.

"Enemy combatant" will be early test for Obama (Reuters)

Reuters - The case of Ali al-Marri, accused of being an al Qaeda "sleeper" agent and held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, will be an early test for President-elect Barack Obama.

Salmonella outbreak sickens 388 across U.S.: health officials (Reuters)

Reuters - An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states, sending 18 percent of them to the hospital, U.S. health officials said on Wednesday.

U.S. presses to jail Madoff on diamonds, watches mail (Reuters)

Reuters - Accused swindler Bernard Madoff should be jailed for violating a court order by mailing $1 million worth of diamonds, watches and other jewelry to friends and family, U.S. prosecutors told a court on Wednesday.

Israel bombs Gaza tunnels as peace moves gather pace (AFP)

AFP - Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.

Russia, Ukraine in EU talks as gas crisis engulfs Europe (AFP)

AFP - Envoys from Russia and Ukraine go to Brussels on Thursday for emergency EU-brokered talks to resolve a bitter gas fight between the two ex-Soviet giants that has engulfed Europe in a major energy crisis.

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Humor & Entertainment Humor & Entertainment