Very Precise Fortune Cookies

I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather forecaster.

"You will be approached in the late afternoon by a pink polka-dot octopus..."

It continued on the other side: "... and asked to provide details of your application for a yellow cloud mulching permit."

Two things struck me about this particular fortune. The first is that they have come a long way in their ability to predict exactly what will happen and when, just like weather forecasters. This is undoubtedly due to recent technological developments. Laser technology, for example. Nano technology. Robotics. Bioengineering. And so many other specialized fields have been developed to points of precision unimagined just a generation ago.

And it's not just the weather forecasters.

In London, Ontario, specialists are performing microscopic cardiac surgery on patients miles away using a robot named CSTAR (Can't you just wait for new parents to start naming their children after the famous surgeon, CSTAR?). This has opened up the door to many benefits, such as sending robots to remote locations without having to worry about a surgeon replacing the wrong organs due to jet lag.

But the real benefit was revealed when one surgeon confided in me: "You know the world is a better place when we don't have to scrub our hands before surgery anymore."

I can call anybody in North America on the telephone and they will answer in real time. Not only is this a better response than I can give people face-to-face, but the telephone cables direct my call to the exact person I want, saving the other 400 million telephone subscribers the inconvenience of having to say, "Wrong number...again!" Just a few decades ago, Switchboard Suzie was manually connecting everybody.

"Janice Land? No problem. I'll connect you." CLICK.

"No, wait. I wanted to speak to Janet Lam. Hello?"

My father can pinpoint the exact amount of blood sugar he packs in his veins. Not very long ago, people could not care less how much sugar was in their blood, as long as they had plenty of it in their double-fudge sundaes.

Yes technology has come a long way, allowing us to send and received very specific information in great detail and in great volumes, allowing such thrilling 21st century innovations as spam (I know, I know, the great spam innovators you admire most did their heroic deeds in the 20th century, but you ain't seen nothing yet!)

Despite the volume of information I receive in my inbox, there is one very disturbing element to all this extra free information, which brings me back to the second thing that struck me about my fortune cookie message.

It was wrong.

I waited all day for that pink polka-dot octopus to approach me, and it never did. Just because modern technology can deliver huge volumes of laser-detailed information, does not make that information valuable or even accurate.

Which brings me back to the revelation that a weather forecaster is now writing fortune cookies. Weather forecasts have become increasingly more precise. For instance, I am told that today it will hail in the town just east of here and be sunny in the town just west of here.

Once upon a time, the forecast would be simply "Sun and hail expected to pass through the region." Less accurate and less wrong. Just as useless, though.

Maybe we should hire CSTAR to make the fortune cookies. Surely CSTAR would deliver fortunes that are not only precise but also accurate, right? As a bonus, the pastry chefs won't have to scrub their hands before baking.

And I wouldn't have to wait for a pink polka-dot octopus all afternoon.

About The Author

David Leonhardt is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/bookSearch/isbnInquiry.asp?ISBN=059517826X

Read more personal growth articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html

Visit his liquid vitamins store: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net

Or his happiness website: http://www.thehappyguy.com

Info@thehappyguy.com

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Palestinians pray over the bodies of  people killed near a United Nations school Tuesday, during their funeral in the Jebaliya refugee camp, in the northern Gaza Strip, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Israel's military paused its Gaza offensive for three hours Wednesday to allow food and fuel to reach besieged Palestinians, and the country's leaders debated whether to accept an international cease-fire plan or expand the assault against Hamas. With criticism rising of the operation's spiraling civilian death toll and Gazans increasingly suffering the effects of nonstop airstrikes and shelling, Israel's military said it opened 'humanitarian corridors' to allow aid supplies to reach Palestinians.(AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)AP - Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt after a three-hour lull to allow in humanitarian aid. Hamas responded with a rocket barrage.



President-elect Barack Obama gestures during a news conference at his transition office in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, where he introduced Nancy Killefer, not shown, to the newly created position of chief performance officer. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - Pointing with concern to "red ink as far as the eye can see," President-elect Barack Obama pledged Wednesday to tackle out-of-control Social Security and Medicare spending and named a special watchdog to clamp down on other federal programs — even as he campaigned anew to spend the largest pile of taxpayer money in history to revive the sinking economy.



Illinois U.S. Senate Appointee Roland Burris, left, meets with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nev., Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)AP - Senate Democrats beat a hasty retreat Wednesday from their rejection of Roland Burris as President-elect Barack Obama's successor, yielding to pressure from Obama himself and from senators irked that the standoff was draining attention and putting them in a bad light. Burris said with a smile he expected to join them "very shortly."



In this photo provided by the Washington State Department of Transportation, water rushes past a washed out road near Blewett Pass on U.S. highway 97 in Washington State on Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009 in Washington State. (AP Photo/Washington State Department of Transportation)AP - Rain and high winds lashed Washington state Wednesday, causing widespread avalanches, mudslides, flooding and road closures as the heavy snowfall that has buried parts of the state began to rapidly melt.



President-elect Barack Obama is welcomed by President George W. Bush for a meeting at the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, with former presidents, from left, George H.W. Bush, Bill  Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.  (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)AP - Confronting a grim economy and a Middle East on fire, Barack Obama turned Wednesday to perhaps the only people on the planet who understand what he's in for: the four living members of the U.S. presidents' club.



Workers put bullet proof glass on President-elect Barack Obama's Inaugural Reviewing Stand on Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House in Washington, Monday, Jan. 5, 2009. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)AP - The upcoming inauguration of Barack Obama is an attractive target for international and domestic terrorists, but U.S. intelligence officials have no information about specific threats to the Jan. 20 event.



AP - You've heard of making cheese from goats' milk, but prescription drugs? In what would be a scientific first, an anti-clotting drug made from the milk of genetically engineered goats moved closer to government approval Wednesday after experts at the Food and Drug Administration reported that the medication works and its safety is acceptable.

Christian Bale accepts the favorite action movie award for 'The Dark Knight' at the 35th Annual People's Choice Awards on Wednesday Jan. 7, 2009 in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)AP - Holy, People's Choice Awards, Batman! "The Dark Knight" soared away with every trophy it was nominated for Wednesday at the 35th annual fan-favorite CBS ceremony. The caped crusader flick won five awards, including favorite cast, superhero, action movie and on-screen matchup for Christian Bale's Batman and the late Heath Ledger's Joker.



Harvard's Jeremy Lin (4) drives for the basket in front of Boston College's Rakim Sanders in the first half of an NCAA college basketball game Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, in Boston. (AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)AP - Jeremy Lin scored 27 points to lead Harvard to an 82-70 upset over No. 17 Boston College on Wednesday night, three days after the Eagles upset previously top-ranked North Carolina.



In this  Sept. 28, 2008 file photo, New York Jets coach Eric Mangini gestures on the sidelines during the third quarter of an NFL football game against the Arizona Cardinals at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. The Cleveland Browns have agreed to hire Eric Mangini as their head coach, a person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun, File)AP - Eric Mangini is the new head coach of the Cleveland Browns, a week after being fired by the New York Jets. A person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press that Mangini will be introduced Thursday at a news conference at the team's headquarters in Berea.



An Israeli soldier stands next to blindfolded Palestinian prisoners after they were arrested during an Israeli military operation in the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009, in this picture released by the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF). U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wednesday she had pressed Israel to seriously consider an Egyptian ceasefire plan as the U.N. Security Council weighed action to end Israel's attack on Gaza. (IDF/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Israeli warplanes bombed the Gaza Strip on Thursday and tanks pounded Palestinian guerrillas on the ground as U.S. backing for a proposed truce raised expectations of an end to the offensive.



Senate-designate Roland Burris talks with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in Reid's office on Capitol Hill, January 7, 2009. (Larry Downing/Reuters)Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday to swear in Roland Burris, appointed by embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate.



President Bush greets President-elect Barack Obama at the White House, November 10, 2008. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)Reuters - The U.S. budget deficit will swell to a record $1.186 trillion in fiscal 2009, congressional forecasters said on Wednesday, the result of an economic recession that has cut tax receipts and caused massive government bailouts of banks and automakers.



Reuters - U.S. cities are vulnerable to an attack like the gun-and-grenade assault that terrorized Mumbai for three days and killed 179 people, the White House homeland security adviser said on Wednesday.

Ali al-Marri, who has been held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, is seen in this undated photograph released to Reuters on January 6, 2008. An early test for President-elect Barack Obama will be the case of suspected al Qaeda 'sleeper' agent Marri, which will force Obama to take a position on his predecessor's claim that anyone the president deems a national security threat can be imprisoned indefinitely without charges in the United States. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - The case of Ali al-Marri, accused of being an al Qaeda "sleeper" agent and held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, will be an early test for President-elect Barack Obama.



Eggs are stacked up at an egg farm in San Diego County, July 29, 2008. (Mike Blake/Reuters)Reuters - An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states, sending 18 percent of them to the hospital, U.S. health officials said on Wednesday.



Bernard Madoff is escorted in a vehicle from Federal Court in New York, January 5, 2009. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)Reuters - Accused swindler Bernard Madoff should be jailed for violating a court order by mailing $1 million worth of diamonds, watches and other jewelry to friends and family, U.S. prosecutors told a court on Wednesday.



An Austrian hotel owner lights a gas stove. Envoys from Russia and Ukraine go to Brussels on Thursday for emergency EU-brokered talks to resolve a bitter gas fight between the two ex-Soviet giants that has engulfed Europe in a major energy crisis.(AFP/Joe Klamar)Reuters - Russia and Ukraine argue their case to Europe on Thursday in a gas price dispute that has choked off energy supplies to EU countries beset by bitter winter weather.



A Palestinian protestor flashes the V for 'victory' sign in front of an Israeli soldier near Damascus Gate in Jerusalem's old city. Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.(AFP/Ahmad Gharabli)AFP - Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.



A woman looks at a manometer set on a gas pipe at a compressor station in the Ukrainian city of Boyarka. Envoys from Russia and Ukraine go to Brussels on Thursday for emergency EU-brokered talks to resolve a bitter gas fight between the two ex-Soviet giants that has engulfed Europe in a major energy crisis.(AFP/File/Sergei Supinsky)AFP - Envoys from Russia and Ukraine go to Brussels on Thursday for emergency EU-brokered talks to resolve a bitter gas fight between the two ex-Soviet giants that has engulfed Europe in a major energy crisis.




Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05

Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game.... Read More

Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories

Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and... Read More

Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet

We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out... Read More

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of... Read More

Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp

To: Maybelle Misfire From: I. M.. Power, VP Welcome aboard! Delighted you... Read More

Freudian Slippage

Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the farmer's market... Read More

Computers According to Carol

A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for... Read More

Sweet Vengeance Purrfected

I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about... Read More

Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is... Read More

Sell [Your] Phones

Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years... Read More

A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School

Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools,... Read More

The Work-from-home Fashion Primer

Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks... Read More

Bad Days and Bad Timing

Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most... Read More

Valet Parking: Theft with Consent

This column is long overdue. To put it in library terms, which... Read More

Eye Spy Potatoes

Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my contact lenses... Read More

[Not So] Outgoing Mail

I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean,... Read More

The Patience of Job

Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid... Read More

Humans are like Monkeys

Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in... Read More

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook... Read More

If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This?

IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned on the... Read More

3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices

I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about... Read More

The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1

Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When... Read More

Voodoo Munchies

Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy... Read More

I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born

I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being... Read More

Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians

"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education... Read More

Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward

Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should... Read More

A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking

I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT.... Read More

Saving SpongeBob Using High Tech

Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in the news... Read More

Playing Go-Between in the Digital Age

NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when... Read More

Mexican Spaminator

When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting... Read More

To See Or Not To See

I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it... Read More

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a... Read More

Dumb Luck

I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have... Read More

Your Stars Part 3

LibraHit TV show 'The X Factor' is back on our screens giving... Read More

Humor Under The Keyboards

For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper... Read More

How to Build a Cobblestone House

He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down -... Read More

Silver Linings Are Everywhere

Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's face it;... Read More

Beyond Black and White

Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a cup of... Read More

Laughing Toward Truth: Six Tips for Lighthearted Thinkers

Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time to lighten... Read More

11 Alternative Garden Games

Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining... Read More

Do Americans Really Understand Irony?

Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there... Read More

When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times

This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked forward to... Read More

Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!

With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic and shaman... Read More

Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05

Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? ? Former... Read More

Essential Laughter

Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in life. It... Read More

Not Your Average Sunday Morning

Just recently my ex-husband stopped in to visit during his vacation. In... Read More

Very Precise Fortune Cookies

I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of... Read More