
It's Friday night, you're sitting at a restaurant, and as your meal arrives, the server says, "Now, don't touch that plate. It's hot." What's the first thing you do?
Well, 99% of the time you're going to touch that plate, right?
I call it the 99% rule. It's closer to 100%, but I give myself a little "out" for those who wish to find a loophole in it.
After years of studying human behavior, I've come up with a few of these 99% rules that I wish to share with you today. Looking for these common denominators in everyday conversation will help you read between the lines more quickly.
When someone starts a sentence with it's not, they're usually trying to tell you what something really is without hurting your feelings.
When someone starts a sentence with I don't, they're trying to direct you without hurting your feelings.
Here are some examples of the first rule in action.
When they say, "It's not you, it's me," they're trying to tell you that it is you. (Since I date quite a bit, I hear this one quite often!)
When they say, "It's not that you're too short," they're trying to tell you that they think you are too short.
When they say, "It's not that I have a drinking problem," what probably comes out of their mouth next is a story about how they drank too much.
Get the picture? But please don't take my word for this. Listen for yourself. It will amaze you.
Here's how I use the 99% rule in everyday activity to help me cut to the chase and find out what's really on someone's mind. Let's say a salesperson comes into my office and begins his sentence with, "It's not that we're trying to raise money, we're simply trying to help you gain a new product line for your corporation."
Now, whatever comes out of his mouth next doesn't really make a difference, because I know by using the 99% rule that he really wants to raise money. So I would interrupt him mid-sentence and say, "Listen, you need money, and I could use the product. Forget the five dollars that you want for each unit. I'll save us both time and give you what you could really use: two dollars each. Do you want it?"
You see, once you master listening to what people are actually trying to tell you, it puts you in control and it can save a lot of heartache in the long run.
The other example I mentioned was the phrase I don't. When someone starts a sentence with I don't, the 99% rule tells you that they're actually trying to direct you without hurting your feelings. Here are some examples.
"I don't want to tell you how to raise your children, but . . ."
"I don't want to tell you how to drive, but . . ."
"I don't want you to take my side, but . . ."
See what I mean?
Now go out and use this information for yourself. Try it out with your friends, business associates, and dates. They'll be amazed at how well you can read them, and you'll look like a star by simply using and applying the 99% rule.
Keep Smilin'
************************************
You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated - send to: GregReid@AlwaysGood.com
About The Author
Greg Reid, GregReid@AlwaysGood.com
Gregory Scott Reid is a Well-Known Speaker and two-time #1 best-selling author of, "The Millionaire Mentor" and "Wake Up: Live the Life You Love" www.AlwaysGood.com
AP - Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt after a three-hour lull to allow in humanitarian aid. Hamas responded with a rocket barrage.
AP - Pink slips are piling higher as companies scramble to cut costs even deeper to survive the country's economic and financial storms.
AP - Pointing with concern to "red ink as far as the eye can see," President-elect Barack Obama pledged Wednesday to tackle out-of-control Social Security and Medicare spending and named a special watchdog to clamp down on other federal programs even as he campaigned anew to spend the largest pile of taxpayer money in history to revive the sinking economy.
AP - Senate Democrats beat a hasty retreat Wednesday from their rejection of Roland Burris as President-elect Barack Obama's successor, yielding to pressure from Obama himself and from senators irked that the standoff was draining attention and putting them in a bad light. Burris said with a smile he expected to join them "very shortly."
AP - Confronting a grim economy and a Middle East on fire, Barack Obama turned Wednesday to perhaps the only people on the planet who understand what he's in for: the four living members of the U.S. presidents' club.
AP - Rain and high winds lashed Washington state Wednesday, causing widespread avalanches, mudslides, flooding and road closures as the heavy snowfall that has buried parts of the state began to rapidly melt.
AP - The upcoming inauguration of Barack Obama is an attractive target for international and domestic terrorists, but U.S. intelligence officials have no information about specific threats to the Jan. 20 event.
AP - Holy, People's Choice Awards, Batman! "The Dark Knight" soared away with every trophy it was nominated for Wednesday at the 35th annual fan-favorite CBS ceremony. The caped crusader flick won five awards, including favorite cast, superhero, action movie and on-screen matchup for Christian Bale's Batman and the late Heath Ledger's Joker.
AP - Jeremy Lin scored 27 points to lead Harvard to an 82-70 upset over No. 17 Boston College on Wednesday night, three days after the Eagles upset previously top-ranked North Carolina.
AP - Eric Mangini is the new head coach of the Cleveland Browns, a week after being fired by the New York Jets. A person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press that Mangini will be introduced Thursday at a news conference at the team's headquarters in Berea.
Reuters - Israeli warplanes bombed the Gaza Strip on Thursday and tanks pounded Palestinian guerrillas on the ground as U.S. backing for a proposed truce raised expectations of an end to the offensive.
Reuters - A fresh wave of profit warnings and job cuts soured investor sentiment on Thursday after an employment report suggested U.S. job losses in December could be the worst in almost 60 years.
Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday to swear in Roland Burris, appointed by embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate.
Reuters - The U.S. budget deficit will swell to a record $1.186 trillion in fiscal 2009, congressional forecasters said on Wednesday, the result of an economic recession that has cut tax receipts and caused massive government bailouts of banks and automakers.
Reuters - The case of Ali al-Marri, accused of being an al Qaeda "sleeper" agent and held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, will be an early test for President-elect Barack Obama.
Reuters - An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states, sending 18 percent of them to the hospital, U.S. health officials said on Wednesday.
Reuters - Accused swindler Bernard Madoff should be jailed for violating a court order by mailing $1 million worth of diamonds, watches and other jewelry to friends and family, U.S. prosecutors told a court on Wednesday.
AFP - Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.
AFP - Envoys from Russia and Ukraine go to Brussels on Thursday for emergency EU-brokered talks to resolve a bitter gas fight between the two ex-Soviet giants that has engulfed Europe in a major energy crisis.
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