Alone But Not Lonely

In today's fast paced society, we've become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. Solitude does not have to alienating or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate.

The death of a loved one or the inability to find people who understand you can leave you feeling isolated. Webster's dictionary plainly describes loneliness as "being without companions. It's natural to experience an emptiness while longing for love or acceptance. Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or not one is physically alone.

It was Geoffrey F. Fisher who said, "In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely. We tend to fill loneliness with all types of distractions. For example, some single women would rather spend a Friday night with a man they have no genuine interest in, than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they await the man they are actually seeking. Then there are young adults who are involved in cliques where they can't really relate to their companions. However, they would rather feel accepted on a superficial level than risk feeling outcast. So what is it about being alone that scares us?

Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence. Silence can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen. It teaches you to pay attention to what's going on inside of you. Only when we are alone, can we have the space and peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced. It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.

Get in touch with yourself so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply react to emotions. Appreciate the time you have to yourself. Let the peace and understanding you find better equip you for the commotion of today's world.

Denni Gill is an up-and-coming Canadian poet.
www.urban-eden.org chronicles her own spiritual growth.
Feedback may be sent to denni@urban-eden.org.

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

In this Oct. 15, 2008 file photo, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, right, listens to Timothy Geithner, president of the New York Federal Reserve, before speaking at the Economic Club of New York. President-elect Barack Obama is likely to name Timothy Geithner as Treasury Secretary in a time of intense economic turmoil as he rounds out the upper echelon of his Cabinet, a senior Democratic official familiar with the deliberations said Friday. (AP Photo/Mark Lennihan)AP - President-elect Barack Obama intends to name Timothy Geithner, president of the New York Federal Reserve, as his treasury secretary to confront the nation's intense economic turmoil, senior Democratic officials said Friday.



U.S. President George W. Bush and with President Hu Jintao of China, right, shake hands before their meeting at the APEC Summit in Lima, Peru, Friday, Nov. 21, 2008. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - In a last dash of diplomacy, President George W. Bush on Friday sought China's help in pinning down North Korea to keep its shaky promises of nuclear disarmament.



President-elect Barack Obama, with money in hand, looks to pay for his order during a visit to Manny's Deli in Chicago, Friday, Nov. 21, 2008. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - While President-elect Barack Obama publicly sidelined himself during congressional debate over an auto industry bailout this week, he and his top aides quietly prodded congressional leaders to find a solution to rescue struggling automakers.



Nebraska lawmakers Tom Carlson, left, of Holdrege, Lowen Kruse of Omaha, John Wightman of Lexington, and Norm Wallman of Cortland visit briefly Friday, Nov. 21, 2008, on the floor of the legislature just before the final vote of LB1, which puts a 30-day age limit on children who can be dropped off at Nebraska hospitals under the safe haven law. The bill easily passed 43-5. (AP Photo/Bill Wolf)AP - Gov. Dave Heineman signed into law Friday a bill adding a 30-day age limit to a safe-haven law that allowed 35 children — including teenagers as old as 17 — to be abandoned at state hospitals. The law, approved hours earlier by the Legislature in a 45-3 vote, goes into effect Saturday, and makes Nebraska the 14th state with a 30-day age cap. It had been the only state with a safe-haven law without an age limit.



Joerg Schoenbohm, Brandeburg state Interior Minister and current chairman of the German Interior Ministers Conference, center, opens the final day of the ministers meeting in Potsdam, Germany, on Friday, Nov. 21, 2008. At left is German Federal Interior Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble. German security officials said Friday they will drop their attempt to pursue a ban of the Church of Scientology after finding insufficient evidence of unconstitutional activity.  (AP Photo/Bernd Settnik Pool)AP - Germany is dropping its pursuit of a ban on Scientology after finding insufficient evidence of illegal activity, security officials said Friday.



Canadian Minister of National Defense Peter MacKay, center, shakes hands with his Australian counterpart Joel Fitzgibbon, as U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates walks past at the conclusion of a news conference on Friday Nov. 21, 2008, in Cornwallis, Nova Scotia, Canada. The three are taking part in discussions of International Security Assistance Force's (ISAF) Regional Command South, which is comprised of forces from Canada, Australia, Denmark, Estonia, Netherlands, Romania, United Kingdom, and the United States. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Mike Dembeck)AP - Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Friday he would like to add significant U.S. forces to the war in Afghanistan before national elections scheduled for next year, and that grim depictions of backsliding in the seven-year-old war are "far too pessimistic."



AP - A college student committed suicide by taking a drug overdose in front of a live webcam as some computer users egged him on, others tried to talk him out of it, and another messaged OMG in horror when it became clear it was no joke. Some watchers contacted the Web site to notify police, but by the time officers entered Abraham Biggs' home — a scene also captured on the Internet — it was too late.

Bulgarian archaeologists work near a Thracian bronze chariot discovered near the village of Karanovo. A bronze chariot dating back to the second century AD has been unearthed in a Thracian burial mound in southeastern Bulgaria, archaeologists said Friday.(AFP/BGNES)AP - Archaeologists have unearthed an elaborately decorated 1,800-year-old chariot sheathed in bronze at an ancient Thracian tomb in southeastern Bulgaria, the head of the excavation said Friday. "The lavishly ornamented four-wheel chariot dates back to the end of the second century A.D.," Veselin Ignatov told The Associated Press in a telephone interview from the site, near the southeastern village of Karanovo.



AP - Police have arrested a man suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints on the windows of stores, churches and schools in a small Nebraska town. A 35-year-old man was caught in the act by police early Wednesday morning, Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said Friday. The man hasn't been charged yet, but authorities believe he is the vandal some townsfolk have dubbed the "Butt Bandit."

In this Nov. 12, 2008, file photo, Memphis Grizzlies' Quinton Ross defends New York Knicks Jamal Crawford (11) as he shoots a three point shot in the third quarter of an NBA basketball game in Memphis, Tenn. The Golden State Warriors traded disgruntled forward Al Harrington to the New York Knicks for guard Jamal Crawford on Friday. (AP Photo/Nikki Boertman, File)AP - The New York Knicks traded Zach Randolph and Jamal Crawford in separate deals Friday, parting with their two top scorers to free up coveted salary-cap space for the summer of 2010. Crawford was sent to Golden State for forward Al Harrington. Hours later, Randolph was shipped to the Los Angeles Clippers along with reserve guard Mardy Collins for Cuttino Mobley and Tim Thomas.



Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke (R) nods as he listens to President of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York Timothy Geithner before addressing the Economic Club of New York in this October 15, 2008 file photo. (Lucas Jackson/Files/Reuters)Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama on Friday moved toward nominating Timothy Geithner as Treasury secretary and charging the respected head of the New York Federal Reserve with helping pull the United States out of an economic nosedive.



Pedestrians walk past a Citibank branch in Singapore November 18, 2008. (Vivek Prakash/Reuters)Reuters - Citigroup Inc has begun talks with the U.S. government as its plummeting share price raises doubts about the bank's ability to survive, a person familiar with the matter said.



Leaders of the U.S. automotive industry testify at a hearing held by the House Financial Services Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington November 19, 2008. From left are General Motors CEO Richard Wagoner, Chrysler Chairman and CEO Robert Nardelli and Ford president and CEO Alan Mulally. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)Reuters - Detroit automakers began work on turnaround plans demanded by Congress in return for $25 billion in aid as General Motors Corp said it would cut production more and give up two of its controversial corporate jets.



General Motors World Headquarters is seen along the Detroit River in Detroit, Michigan, September 17, 2008. (Rebecca Cook/Reuters)Reuters - The board of directors of embattled U.S. automaker General Motors Corp is considering "all options" including bankruptcy, according to a report on the Wall Street Journal's website late on Friday.



Traders work in close quarters on the main trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange early in the trading session in New York City, November 21, 2008. (Mike Segar/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. stocks stormed higher in a late rally on Friday to cap another volatile week as investors welcomed reports that President-elect Barack Obama has chosen his point person to combat the U.S. economic crisis, instilling confidence about the administration's ability to take action.



A British military vehicle drives past an Afghan man in Lashkar Gah, capital of Helmand province October 20, 2008. (Abdul Qodus/Reuters)Reuters - The Pentagon is considering a plan to send more than 20,000 troops to Afghanistan over the next 12 to 18 months to help safeguard elections and quell rising Taliban violence, officials said on Friday.



Reuters - U.S. banking regulators seized California banks Downey Savings and Loan and PFF Bank & Trust late Friday as the housing crisis claimed two more victims from the financial crisis.

Reuters - A suspected U.S. drone aircraft fired a missile in the North Waziristan tribal region of Pakistan killing at least four people, according to Pakistani intelligence officials.

An everything-must-go sign in Coral Gables, Florida. The economic team of US president-elect Barack Obama came into view as fears mounted on the global financial crisis and more mass job cuts loomed worldwide(AFP/Getty Images/Joe Raedle)AFP - The economic team of US president-elect Barack Obama came into view as fears mounted on the global financial crisis and more mass job cuts loomed worldwide.



Peruvian President Alan Garcia delivers a speech during the opening of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) CEO Summit in Lima. Leaders of the 21-member APEC group are to seek ways of turning back the world economic crisis as they gather in Lima amid unrelenting bad news from the Asia-Pacific region.(AFP/Presidencia)AFP - US President George W. Bush began Friday his last scheduled foreign trip, meeting the leader of increasingly important China ahead of a summit aimed at containing a spiraling financial crisis.




Heavy Weather Guide

Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 26, 2004My girlfriend... Read More

Irresistible

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 29, 2003I'm attracted... Read More

Weapons of Mass Distraction

Anything that draws one away from the business of living and being... Read More

Everyone Has Been Hurt ....Part 6

Continued....I have since grown a lot. I have grown through God's help... Read More

Without Love

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 30, 2002Kendra and... Read More

Head First

I stepped up to the edge and looked down. I closed my... Read More

Just Let ?Em Go!

I remember when I was just a little guy probably about 4... Read More

Trust the Lord and Go to The Hole

This is my new favorite quote. Now to understand it you must... Read More

Its About That Time

As we've reached the half way point of the year I'm thinking... Read More

Silence Inside

Silence means no voice input of any sort. What happens when there... Read More

Does Your Childhood Hold You Back?

Have you come to a point in your life and got stuck... Read More

Innocent Fun

Just the other day, I escaped the business of my daily life... Read More

My Life With Furniture

These days, I find the lines are blurred between school and Real... Read More

Three Amigos

I feel rather foolish writing this letter, but I need help. I... Read More

I Dont Like This

You always do this wrong, how many times would I have to... Read More

How to Conquer Fears and Worries

"More than any other time in history, mankind face a crossroad. One... Read More

The Monkey With The Wooden Apples

There once was a happy monkey wandering the jungle, eating delicious fruit... Read More

Are We Ever Really Alone?

A new twist on a familiar quote - Chances are you've heard... Read More

Harsh Reality

Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 25, 2003My wife... Read More

Have a Green Day, Every Day!

Green symbolises growth. Growth requires change and transformation. This article will help... Read More

Shaping the Future with Positive People Power

We must shape the future and control our destiny.When we examine our... Read More

Your True Talent Will Set You Free

When you get home from work, do you feel enriched, fulfilled and... Read More

Go Between

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 16, 2003I enjoy... Read More

Character is Whats Left When You Leave

1 Samuel 16:7"...The Lord does not look at the things man looks... Read More

Withstand the Test of Time

As I drove home from work late one wintry afternoon, chilled from... Read More

Why Buddhism Succeeds - The Right Thing is the Thing to do

The ongoing teachings are exemplified in an understanding and execution of two... Read More

Ignorance and Fantasy

Are beliefs not often the children of ignorance and fantasy? Consider the... Read More

Essential Ingredient

Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 15, 2003I have... Read More

The Power of One

It was one of those once-in-a-life-time moments. The entire World celebrated Christmas... Read More

You Reap What You Sow

There is an old principle: You reap what you sow. In fact,... Read More

Oldies

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 5, 2004I am... Read More

On Stand-by

Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 28, 2003My wife... Read More

Five Minutes Before the Miracle

Even though this article was next on my idea list, and I... Read More

The Procrastinating Perfectionist

Are you a procrastinating perfectionist? I once read an article dealing with... Read More

Do You Have a Vision?

You must absolutely have a vision, or a dream, for your life.... Read More

Flight Delay

Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 6, 2003It took... Read More

Jerrys Yo-Yo

The blaring sound leapt under Jerry's skin and strangled him awake in... Read More

Self Esteem - What It Really Is and How to Raise It

Self esteem.Now there's a well used and little understood term. Self esteem... Read More

Flaming Fire Within Our Bones

Jeremiah was certainly one of the most distinguished notables of the Old... Read More

Alone But Not Lonely

In today's fast paced society, we've become accustomed to filling the eeriness... Read More

Trust Yourself ? The Hero?s Way!

Buying a VCR may not seem like a noteworthy purchase in a... Read More

Tighten Your Connection

It was my first and last experience with a pneumatic drill, which... Read More

The HUGE Deposit of Diamond in You

Something happened to me some years back that is worthy is sharing... Read More

Your Inner Wisdom -- Crouching Ego, Hidden Guru

Wouldn't it be nice if you had a spiritual counselor that traveled... Read More

What Forgiveness Is Not

Is a grudge-laden heart sabotaging your success in business and in life?Much... Read More

Night of the Living Dead

For many people, life has become as dull and despairing as death.... Read More

Melting Snow

I love the sounds of melting snow-plink, plink, ting, ting, ting, a... Read More