Let Change Be Your Friend, Mentor, and Inspiration

People have a tendency of anticipating pending change on the assumption that it will be bad. Such focus on the negatives contribute to unnecessary fears of change, even when there is really not much, if anything, to fear. Sometimes that fear can be inflamed by self doubt; doubts of our own ability to deal with this new situation that is about to befall us.

As such fears are usually unfounded, then hopefully it should not be too difficult to cure our fears of change? Well, that depends on the individual. A group of people facing the same change will react and anticipate in very different ways. It is helpful to understand that life always comprises ups and downs. Nobody can be forever happy, forever in a state of perfection; the world changes and your little world changes. Those who fare the best are those who feed off the changes rather than run from them, or confront them in wasteful defiance; the tide of change will not stop because of you.

As with all experiences in life, you should try to learn from your experiences of change; before, during, and after. Experience and knowledge make for a fuller person, so here is an opportunity to take another step towards your personal maturity. I know from my personal experiences that what appear to be bad events, bad changes, can often lead to something far better.

There are some ancient beliefs which lead us to believe that every single event in our lives, little or large, happens with a pre-determined reason. They also taught that life, somehow, prepares us for certain events that will come later. Whether or not you can believe that does not really matter; what matters is that you view each event as something to be learnt from, not hide from or go into denial about. If it's happened, it's happened; we need to deal with it; we need to deal with the reality it has caused.

Throughout my life I have had the usual setbacks that many endure at one time or another; each time, something better followed, or I took with me significant and useful memories. During 1998/99, though, a whole succession of setbacks, in my personal and business life, really shook me; one after another, with no relief. I lost count; maybe there were 7 or 8. On one hand, I was suffering because of the setbacks. Each was significant, but together, they were reaching the core of my life in England. On the other hand, I was excited, wondering what all this meant. As the dust settled, I knew what it was all about. I was being released to follow my dreams. So, that's what I did.

If you have a problem dealing with a certain change in your life, and understanding what it actually means, here are a few tips that might help you:

1. Try to think only of the positive effects that will result from the change. Use meditation to see how important they are. While meditating, focus on how to get the most from the positive benefits. Then take it further: where could those benefits lead to that will enhance your life still further.

2. Imagine the worse case scenario after the change. Be realistic, and don't be lured into fantasy land to punish yourself. Now use meditation again to find solutions to any problems that may be caused by the change. That way, you will be ready for anything.

3. If you are feeling as though this change is going to affect you more than anyone, then imagine someone else in the same situation; maybe a friend of yours. You will probably find that they will handle it better than you in your imagination. This may help you to handle it better too.

4. As you go to sleep each night, imagine yourself after the change has happened: calm, relaxed, confident and happy. You have got through the change as if it did not happen, or as if it were very trivial. As you wake up, think over the same things in the same way again. You may be surprised at how well your subconscious will prepare you for the impending change.

Change? What change?

That's right, your evolution to maturity.

Roy Thomsitt is owner and part author of http://www.change-direction.com and http://www.routes-to-self-improvement.com

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Palestinians pray over the bodies of  people killed near a United Nations school Tuesday, during their funeral in the Jebaliya refugee camp, in the northern Gaza Strip, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Israel's military paused its Gaza offensive for three hours Wednesday to allow food and fuel to reach besieged Palestinians, and the country's leaders debated whether to accept an international cease-fire plan or expand the assault against Hamas. With criticism rising of the operation's spiraling civilian death toll and Gazans increasingly suffering the effects of nonstop airstrikes and shelling, Israel's military said it opened 'humanitarian corridors' to allow aid supplies to reach Palestinians.(AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)AP - Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt after a three-hour lull to allow in humanitarian aid. Hamas responded with a rocket barrage.



People looks for jobs in front of computer screens at the California Employment Development Department in Sunnyvale, Calif., Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009. The country lost nearly 2 million jobs through November and more bad news is expected this week when the government releases data on weekly jobless claims and December unemployment. No matter how bad those numbers are, and economists expect at least another 500,000 jobs were lost last month, the pain is stretching into 2009. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)AP - Pink slips are piling higher as companies scramble to cut costs even deeper to survive the country's economic and financial storms.



President-elect Barack Obama gestures during a news conference at his transition office in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, where he introduced Nancy Killefer, right, to the newly created position of chief performance officer. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - Pointing with concern to "red ink as far as the eye can see," President-elect Barack Obama pledged Wednesday to tackle out-of-control Social Security and Medicare spending and named a special watchdog to clamp down on other federal programs — even as he campaigned anew to spend the largest pile of taxpayer money in history to revive the sinking economy.



Illinois U.S. Senate Appointee Roland Burris, left, meets with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nev., Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)AP - Senate Democrats beat a hasty retreat Wednesday from their rejection of Roland Burris as President-elect Barack Obama's successor, yielding to pressure from Obama himself and from senators irked that the standoff was draining attention and putting them in a bad light. Burris said with a smile he expected to join them "very shortly."



President-elect Barack Obama is welcomed by President George W. Bush for a meeting at the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, with former presidents, from left, George H.W. Bush, Bill  Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.  (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)AP - Confronting a grim economy and a Middle East on fire, Barack Obama turned Wednesday to perhaps the only people on the planet who understand what he's in for: the four living members of the U.S. presidents' club.



In this photo provided by the Washington State Department of Transportation, water rushes past a washed out road near Blewett Pass on U.S. highway 97 in Washington State on Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009 in Washington State. (AP Photo/Washington State Department of Transportation)AP - Rain and high winds lashed Washington state Wednesday, causing widespread avalanches, mudslides, flooding and road closures as the heavy snowfall that has buried parts of the state began to rapidly melt.



Workers put bulletproof glass on President-elect Barack Obama's Inaugural Reviewing Stand on Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House in Washington, Monday, Jan. 5, 2009. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)AP - The upcoming inauguration of Barack Obama is an attractive target for international and domestic terrorists, but U.S. intelligence officials have no information about specific threats to the Jan. 20 event.



Christian Bale accepts the favorite action movie award for 'The Dark Knight' at the 35th Annual People's Choice Awards on Wednesday Jan. 7, 2009 in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)AP - Holy People's Choice Awards, Batman!



Harvard's Jeremy Lin (4) drives for the basket in front of Boston College's Rakim Sanders in the first half of an NCAA college basketball game Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, in Boston. (AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)AP - Jeremy Lin scored 27 points to lead Harvard to an 82-70 upset over No. 17 Boston College on Wednesday night, three days after the Eagles upset previously top-ranked North Carolina.



In this  Sept. 28, 2008 file photo, New York Jets coach Eric Mangini gestures on the sidelines during the third quarter of an NFL football game against the Arizona Cardinals at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. The Cleveland Browns have agreed to hire Eric Mangini as their head coach, a person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun, File)AP - Eric Mangini is the new head coach of the Cleveland Browns, a week after being fired by the New York Jets. A person with knowledge of the negotiations told The Associated Press that Mangini will be introduced Thursday at a news conference at the team's headquarters in Berea.



An Israeli soldier stands next to blindfolded Palestinian prisoners after they were arrested during an Israeli military operation in the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009, in this picture released by the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF). U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wednesday she had pressed Israel to seriously consider an Egyptian ceasefire plan as the U.N. Security Council weighed action to end Israel's attack on Gaza. (IDF/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Israeli warplanes bombed targets across the Gaza Strip on Thursday and tanks advanced on Palestinian guerrillas as U.S. backing for a truce proposal raised expectations of an end to the offensive.



Reuters - Three rockets fired from Lebanon exploded in northern Israel on Thursday, the first since the Jewish state launched an offensive in Gaza two weeks ago, Israeli police said.

A share trader reacts while checking share prices in front of the German share price index DAX board at the German stock exchange in Frankfurt, December 18, 2008. (Kai Pfaffenbach/Reuters)Reuters - A fresh wave of profit warnings and job cuts soured investor sentiment on Thursday after an employment report suggested U.S. job losses in December could be the worst in almost 60 years.



Senate-designate Roland Burris talks with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in Reid's office on Capitol Hill, January 7, 2009. (Larry Downing/Reuters)Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday to swear in Roland Burris, appointed by embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate.



President Bush greets President-elect Barack Obama at the White House, November 10, 2008. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)Reuters - The U.S. budget deficit will swell to a record $1.186 trillion in fiscal 2009, congressional forecasters said on Wednesday, the result of an economic recession that has cut tax receipts and caused massive government bailouts of banks and automakers.



Reuters - U.S. cities are vulnerable to an attack like the gun-and-grenade assault that terrorized Mumbai for three days and killed 179 people, the White House homeland security adviser said on Wednesday.

Ali al-Marri, who has been held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, is seen in this undated photograph released to Reuters on January 6, 2008. An early test for President-elect Barack Obama will be the case of suspected al Qaeda 'sleeper' agent Marri, which will force Obama to take a position on his predecessor's claim that anyone the president deems a national security threat can be imprisoned indefinitely without charges in the United States. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - The case of Ali al-Marri, accused of being an al Qaeda "sleeper" agent and held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, will be an early test for President-elect Barack Obama.



Eggs are stacked up at an egg farm in San Diego County, July 29, 2008. (Mike Blake/Reuters)Reuters - An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states, sending 18 percent of them to the hospital, U.S. health officials said on Wednesday.



Three to four rockets hit northern Israel from Lebanon early Thursday, military sources told AFP.(AFP)AFP - Three to four rockets hit northern Israel from Lebanon early Thursday, military sources told AFP.



A Palestinian protestor flashes the V for 'victory' sign in front of an Israeli soldier near Damascus Gate in Jerusalem's old city. Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.(AFP/Ahmad Gharabli)AFP - Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.




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