Long Odds

Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 31, 2003

I don't drive and have health problems. I have a friend who runs an under-the-table errand service. She is one of my closest friends so I rely on her. I always give her sufficient money for her time, and she has helped me out in many situations.

There have been two times in a row where she has blown me off. Both times she was to take me to a doctor appointment. The first time she did not call me in advance as she always did, so I called her. She said, "I can't talk, I'm running out the door." She hung up before I got to say a word. She called me back at midnight and said she was really sorry, she forgot.

I thought she probably did and went on with my business, though she ruined my plans and I ended up in a jam because of it. Last week I had a very important doctor's appointment. I called her well in advance, and she confirmed it twice during the week. But the time came when she was supposed to call and pick me up, and she never called.

So I called her. There was no answer. Today she basically blamed the whole thing on me, saying, "I was home sitting around waiting for your call. I don't understand why you didn't get through."

The long and the short of it is I don't know if I am being naïve, or is this just two strange coincidences. I don't want to accuse her of anything, but assessing the situation, I wonder if she doesn't want to do it and won't tell me directly. That would not offend me. I would make other arrangements. What do you think?

Zeta

Zeta, some years ago two basketball teams from the state of Ohio were contending for the national championship. The fans from Ohio State thought their team was better than the University of Cincinnati, and they were shocked when the other school won the national basketball title.

For a year the Ohio State fans claimed it was a fluke that Cincinnati won. But guess what? The next year the University of Cincinnati won again. That inspired some Cincinnati fans to rent a billboard near the Ohio State campus. The message on the billboard read, "Well, what do you know? Two flukes in a row!"

Why would you expect up-front behavior from someone working under the table? It's time to make other arrangements. Two flukes in a row are a message.

Wayne

Conviction

If a woman has not found her soul mate by age 30, she might as well give up! It is all very nice to talk about "not giving up early" as you do, when you are in a strong, loving, and respectful marriage.

Men have it easier. Men's idea of marriage is to have someone to abuse. They find a sweet, nice, gentle girl like I once was and expect her to just take it. Women are supposed to be so grateful some man, any man, would have them.

God does not in reality care about those of us who are heartsick.

Yvette

Yvette, for most people the good things in life don't happen until later. Our local newspaper publishes the age of people applying for marriage licenses. In today's paper, more than 60 percent of both the men and the women are over 30.

Tennyson wrote, "How dull it is to pause, to make an end, to rust unburnished, not to shine in use!" The aim of life, he said, is "to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

Most of our problems come from the six inches between our ears. Once you believe something is true, it is true. For you. Paradoxically, we cannot change until we believe we can, and once we've changed, we won't need belief. We know it is true.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Palestinians pray over the bodies of  people killed near a United Nations school Tuesday, during their funeral in the Jebaliya refugee camp, in the northern Gaza Strip, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Israel's military paused its Gaza offensive for three hours Wednesday to allow food and fuel to reach besieged Palestinians, and the country's leaders debated whether to accept an international cease-fire plan or expand the assault against Hamas. With criticism rising of the operation's spiraling civilian death toll and Gazans increasingly suffering the effects of nonstop airstrikes and shelling, Israel's military said it opened 'humanitarian corridors' to allow aid supplies to reach Palestinians.(AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)AP - Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt after a three-hour lull to allow in humanitarian aid. Hamas responded with a rocket barrage.



People looks for jobs in front of computer screens at the California Employment Development Department in Sunnyvale, Calif., Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009. The country lost nearly 2 million jobs through November and more bad news is expected this week when the government releases data on weekly jobless claims and December unemployment. No matter how bad those numbers are, and economists expect at least another 500,000 jobs were lost last month, the pain is stretching into 2009. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)AP - Pink slips are piling higher as companies scramble to cut costs even deeper to survive the country's economic and financial storms.



President-elect Barack Obama gestures during a news conference at his transition office in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, where he introduced Nancy Killefer, right, to the newly created position of chief performance officer. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - Pointing with concern to "red ink as far as the eye can see," President-elect Barack Obama pledged Wednesday to tackle out-of-control Social Security and Medicare spending and named a special watchdog to clamp down on other federal programs — even as he campaigned anew to spend the largest pile of taxpayer money in history to revive the sinking economy.



Illinois U.S. Senate Appointee Roland Burris, left, meets with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nev., Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)AP - Senate Democrats beat a hasty retreat Wednesday from their rejection of Roland Burris as President-elect Barack Obama's successor, yielding to pressure from Obama himself and from senators irked that the standoff was draining attention and putting them in a bad light. Burris said with a smile he expected to join them "very shortly."



Protesters yell during a demonstration against the shooting death of Oscar Grant at the Fruitvale BART station in Oakland, Calif., Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. Grant was shot and killed by a police officer after an altercation on a BART train station platform in Oakland on New Year's Day.  (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)AP - Protests over the fatal shooting of an unarmed man by a Bay Area Rapid Transit police officer turned violent Wednesday night with windows broken, fires set and train stations closed.



President-elect Barack Obama is welcomed by President George W. Bush for a meeting at the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, with former presidents, from left, George H.W. Bush, Bill  Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.  (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)AP - Confronting a grim economy and a Middle East on fire, Barack Obama turned Wednesday to perhaps the only people on the planet who understand what he's in for: the four living members of the U.S. presidents' club.



In this photo provided by the Washington State Department of Transportation, water rushes past a washed out road near Blewett Pass on U.S. highway 97 in Washington State on Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009 in Washington State. (AP Photo/Washington State Department of Transportation)AP - Rain and high winds lashed Washington state Wednesday, causing widespread avalanches, mudslides, flooding and road closures as the heavy snowfall that has buried parts of the state began to rapidly melt.



Workers put bulletproof glass on President-elect Barack Obama's Inaugural Reviewing Stand on Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House in Washington, Monday, Jan. 5, 2009. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)AP - The upcoming inauguration of Barack Obama is an attractive target for international and domestic terrorists, but U.S. intelligence officials have no information about specific threats to the Jan. 20 event.



Christian Bale accepts the favorite action movie award for 'The Dark Knight' at the 35th Annual People's Choice Awards on Wednesday Jan. 7, 2009 in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)AP - Holy People's Choice Awards, Batman!



Harvard's Jeremy Lin (4) drives for the basket in front of Boston College's Rakim Sanders in the first half of an NCAA college basketball game Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, in Boston. (AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)AP - Jeremy Lin scored 27 points to lead Harvard to an 82-70 upset over No. 17 Boston College on Wednesday night, three days after the Eagles upset previously top-ranked North Carolina.



An Israeli soldier stands next to blindfolded Palestinian prisoners after they were arrested during an Israeli military operation in the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009, in this picture released by the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF). U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wednesday she had pressed Israel to seriously consider an Egyptian ceasefire plan as the U.N. Security Council weighed action to end Israel's attack on Gaza. (IDF/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - At least four rockets fired from Lebanon exploded in northern Israel on Thursday, wounding two people, police and medics said, in an attack likely linked to Israel's offensive against Hamas Islamists in the Gaza Strip.



President-elect Barack Obama listens to a question from the media following a meeting with members of his future cabinet and economic advisors at his transition office in Washington, January 6, 2009. (Jason Reed/Reuters)Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama will call for quick action on a fiscal stimulus package in a speech on Thursday aimed at reassuring Americans that he is determined to stem the economic crisis.



A share trader reacts while checking share prices in front of the German share price index DAX board at the German stock exchange in Frankfurt, December 18, 2008. (Kai Pfaffenbach/Reuters)Reuters - A fresh wave of profit warnings and job cuts soured investor sentiment on Thursday after an employment report suggested U.S. job losses in December could be the worst in almost 60 years.



Senate-designate Roland Burris talks with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in Reid's office on Capitol Hill, January 7, 2009. (Larry Downing/Reuters)Reuters - In an abrupt switch, Democratic leaders began talks on Wednesday to swear in Roland Burris, appointed by embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate.



A customer looks at listings on display outside a Brown Harris Stevens offices in New York, June 4, 2008. (Brendan McDermid/Reuters)Reuters - It took war, the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression and the collapse of some of New York's famed investment banks, but Manhattan apartment prices are finally falling.



Reuters - U.S. cities are vulnerable to an attack like the gun-and-grenade assault that terrorized Mumbai for three days and killed 179 people, the White House homeland security adviser said on Wednesday.

Ali al-Marri, who has been held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, is seen in this undated photograph released to Reuters on January 6, 2008. An early test for President-elect Barack Obama will be the case of suspected al Qaeda 'sleeper' agent Marri, which will force Obama to take a position on his predecessor's claim that anyone the president deems a national security threat can be imprisoned indefinitely without charges in the United States. (Handout/Reuters)Reuters - The case of Ali al-Marri, accused of being an al Qaeda "sleeper" agent and held for 5-1/2 years at a U.S. military prison in South Carolina, will be an early test for President-elect Barack Obama.



Bernard Madoff is escorted in a vehicle from Federal Court in New York, January 5, 2009. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)Reuters - Accused swindler Bernard Madoff should be jailed for violating a court order by mailing $1 million worth of diamonds, watches and other jewelry to friends and family, U.S. prosecutors told a court on Wednesday.



Israeli soldiers patrol the Israeli-Lebanese border. Four rockets hit northern Israel from Lebanon early Thursday, military sources told AFP.(AFP/Mahmoud Zayat)AFP - Four rockets hit northern Israel from Lebanon early Thursday, military sources told AFP.



A Palestinian protestor flashes the V for 'victory' sign in front of an Israeli soldier near Damascus Gate in Jerusalem's old city. Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.(AFP/Ahmad Gharabli)AFP - Israeli warplanes bombed suspected arms-smuggling tunnels in southern Gaza early Thursday, as diplomats worked to secure a ceasefire in an offensive that has killed 700 Palestinians.




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