
What is your recovery rate? How long does it take you to recover from actions and behaviours that upset you? Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? How long? The longer it takes you to recover the more influence that incident has on your actions, the less able you are to perform to your personal best. In a nutshell the longer it takes you to recover the weaker you are and the poorer your performance.
Just ask yourself:
How many times have I got upset with my spouse or partner for something the children did hours ago?
How many times have I missed an opportunity because I was still focussed on an upset and all I could say was 'NO' to everything?
How many times have I driven my car erratically because I was still thinking of an incident that made me angry?
The point is: a poor recovery rate affects your health. A poor recovery rate affects your well being. A poor recovery rate stops you from living to your potential.
You are well aware that you need to exercise to keep the body fit and, no doubt, accept that a reasonable measure of health is the speed in which your heart and respiratory system recovers after exercise. Likewise the faster you let go of an issue that upsets you, the faster you return to an equilibrium the healthier you will be. The best example of this behaviour is found with professional sportspeople. They know that the faster they can forget an incident or missed opportunity and get on with the game the better their performance. In fact, most measure the time it takes them to overcome and forget an incident in a game and most reckon a recovery rate of 30 seconds is too long!
How long does it take you to recover and overcome and forget and incident at work or at home?
A method that I and many others use to help us reduce the recovery time is the method of the FULL STOP.
Imagine yourself to be an actor in a play on the stage. Your aim is to play your part to the best of your ability. You have been given a script and at the end of each sentence is a full stop. Each time you get to the end of the sentence you start a new one and although the next sentence is related to the last it is not affected by it. Your job is to deliver each sentence to the best of your ability.
Now think about your life. Imagine life is no more than a play, a drama and we each have a role to play in that drama. Your job is to play your part to the best of your ability and the better you play your part the more chance that you will inspire others around you to improve their performance. Each incident you face is a new sentence. Just put a full stop behind it and start again. Accept that every time you meet someone or have a conversation with a person on the telephone or even send an email it is a new incident.
You have both moved on since you last met, so remembering the last occasion only keeps you in the past and stops you moving forward. Stops you seeing new opportunities. The next time you see the person that upset you, or you upset, is a new occasion there is nothing to be gained by continuing from where you left off. The incident has finished. You are both in a different place now. It is a new sentence so start again.
My grandmother used to call it destiny. "Accept what has happened as part of your destiny and live with it", was a favourite phrase of hers. You cannot change what has happened. Sulking or Brooding will not help. Analysing will only give you a headache and keep it fresh in your mind. In the same way that you cannot enter the same river twice, you will never face the exact same incident again so why analyse that one? You can however notice whether you have a habit or thought pattern that clicks in in certain circumstances and stops you performing to your best. You can then look at the habit and decide how you can change it.
The secret to a better life is be like the sportsperson, ask yourself:
Did I recover quicker today than I did yesterday?
Did I recover quicker this time than the last occasion I faced a similar incident?
Did I allow myself to be average today?
Did I equal or improve on my personal best today?
Don't live your life in the past! Learn to live in the present, to overcome the past. Stop the past from influencing your daily life. Don't allow thoughts of the past to reduce your personal best. Stop the past from interfering with your life. Learn to recover quickly.
What we are suggesting is not an easy path. To work on your recovery rate and make changes in your thoughts, behaviour and attitudes requires a great deal of effort. However, the rewards are also great. It is important that you don't force yourself to work on your recovery rate because you think you ought to or must or because you feel it will 'make you a better person'. There's no benefit in that because you will not stick to the task. You will make a great deal of effort at the beginning but when you are not achieving the results you want you will stop or look for another technique. Only when you really feel you want to change.
When you realise life is not working for you at the moment using the methods you are using will you put in the effort to change your behaviour to improve your recovery rate. You can only improve your recovery rate when you can see that there is great benefit for the self.
Once you decide you wish to improve your recovery rate, you will start to check and change your thoughts and behaviour and make effort to perform to your personal best. You can check your progress by measuring the speed in which you are able to apply a full stop. The time it takes you to let go. The time it takes before you are functioning at or near your personal best again.
Check yourself:
What was my recovery rate after the argument with my partner?
What was my recovery rate after I lost a sale?
What was my recovery rate after I received a ticket for speeding?
What was my recovery rate after I heard a friend was ill?
What was my recovery rate after I got frustrated with myself over????
But remember; Rome wasn't built in a day. Reflect on your recovery rate each day. Every day before you go to bed, look at your progress. Don't lie in bed saying to yourself, 'I did that wrong'. 'I should have done better there'. No. Look at your day and note when you made an effort to place a full stop after an incident. This is a success. You are taking control of your life. Remember this is a step by step process. This is not a make-over. You are undertaking real change here. Your aim: reduce the time spent in recovery.
The way forward?
Live in the present. Not in the precedent.
Graham and Julie live in the Canary Islands where they pursue their love of writing and photography. To see more of their work please go to: http://www.desktop-meditation.com
AP - Gov. Rod Blagojevich was impeached Friday by Illinois lawmakers furious that he turned state government into a "freak show," setting the stage for an unprecedented trial in the state Senate that could get him thrown out of office.
AP - Israeli jets and ground troops hammered at Hamas targets in the Gaza Strip and Islamic militants fired barrages of rockets at southern Israeli cities Friday, ignoring a U.N. resolution calling for an immediate cease-fire after two weeks of combat.
AP - A staggering 2.6 million jobs disappeared in 2008, the most since World War II, and the pain is only getting worse with 11 million Americans out of work and searching. Unemployment hit a 16-year high of 7.2 percent in December and could be headed for 10 percent or even higher by year's end.
AP - President-elect Barack Obama said Friday that he and Congress will "hone and refine" his nearly $800 billion economic recovery plan, as he seeks to patch fissures with senior Democrats over key features of the still-emerging plan.
AP - She messed up her first interviews, didn't show much of a grasp of the issues and, dontcha know, had a speech pattern that was widely mimicked.
AP - A Texas death row inmate with a history of mental problems pulled out his only good eye and told authorities he ate it. Andre Thomas, 25, was arrested for the fatal stabbings of his estranged wife, their young son and her 13-month-old daughter in March 2004. Their hearts also had been ripped out. He was convicted and condemned for the infant's death.
AP - Birders with binoculars and cameras are flocking to a remote state park in search of a small yellow-chested bird that apparently crossed the U.S. border for the first time from its high-mountain habitat to the south.
AP - Patrick Swayze has checked himself into the hospital for observation after contracting pneumonia, A&E President Abbe Raven announced Friday at a meeting of the Television Critics Association.
Reuters - The Illinois House of Representatives impeached Gov. Rod Blagojevich on Friday for abuse of power, including a charge that he tried to sell President-elect Barack Obama's former U.S. Senate seat.
Reuters - Israel rejected a U.N. resolution calling for a ceasefire in the Hamas-ruled Gaza Strip on Friday and warplanes and tanks pounded the Palestinian enclave.
Reuters - Robert Rubin, a former Treasury Secretary, resigned from Citigroup Inc on Friday following months of criticism of his performance at the giant U.S. bank, whose sinking share price led to a government rescue.
Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama and a key Democratic lawmaker revealed plans on Friday to overhaul the government's $700 billion financial rescue fund as a way to aid struggling homeowners and speed the flow of credit.
Reuters - The unemployment rate surged to the highest in nearly 16 years last month as a deepening year-long recession forced companies to axe more than half a million jobs, government data showed on Friday.
Reuters - The U.S. Supreme Court said on Friday it would consider a challenge to a central provision of the 44-year-old voting rights law aimed at preventing states and local governments from making it harder for minorities to vote.
Reuters - A top bank industry group said on Friday that it opposes an agreement between Citigroup Inc and Democratic senators that would rewrite U.S. bankruptcy law to help troubled mortgage borrowers avoid foreclosure, saying it could make home loans more expensive.
Reuters - The European Union sought to finalize details on Friday of a gas monitoring deal to allow the resumption of gas supplies to Europe via Ukraine, which have been cut off for days over a pricing row.
AFP - Tanks and warplanes pounded Gaza on Friday after Israel defied a truce order from the UN Security Council as the death toll from the two-week-old conflict against Hamas passed 800.
AFP - Somali pirates said Friday they had freed a Saudi-owned supertanker, whose capture nearly two months ago caused panic in international shipping and spurred the world into tougher anti-piracy action.
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