Why Self Esteem Matters

Home
>
Inspirational
>
Why Self Esteem Matters

A number of years ago I worked for one of the UK's top IT companies -- a global player. We were meeting to discuss a major bid, and the room was filled with people who didn't meet often -- the most senior managers from a number of divisions. There were very few middle tier managers in the room, almost exclusively senior managers who were accustomed to being 'top dog'. The atmosphere in that room was almost tangible. I wanted to bottle the air and analyse it later -- I had never experienced such naked power, and it dawned on me in that moment that we are almost blind to the status signals we transmit.

That meeting was an epiphany, and led to me becoming a hypnotherapist with a particular interest in researching confidence and self esteem. Because what I discovered in that company, and in many companies I have assisted subsequently, was the startling fact that an individual's self-esteem is a reliable indicator of how far they will progress in the organisation. Some technical geniuses can buck the trend, but they are very rare. For most of us, our ability to influence decision-making is precisely limited by our self esteem.

Why does this matter? It matters because the person with the greatest self esteem is not necessarily the right person to be making the key decisions. We have all suffered foolish bosses. Perhaps we have all wondered how on earth they reached such positions of seniority, given their obvious shortcomings. If you will excuse the bluntness: that incompetent boss is there because you haven't yet been sufficiently convincing. Your performance is perhaps the least important aspect on which you will be judged; what matters is your status in the group.

Status is a fascinating topic. We communicate our status constantly, primarily through body language and voice tone. This communication is unconscious; it is felt rather than known or consciously controlled. The way in which you behave reflects your self perception of status. This is either accepted or challenged by the people around you. A dominant person (relative to you) will cause you to back off from a challenge. A submissive person (again, relative to your own status) will make it easy for you to project your will. For a fuller discussion of this topic, please visit http://www.confidenceclub.net/cont ent/statusconfidence.php.

And so we come to the nub. We should all seek to develop our self esteem, not because of the personal benefits which will flow from this personal growth -- career enhancement, improved love life etc -- but because we have a duty to ourselves and our communities. Until and unless we step up to the plate, our communities will remain vulnerable to an almost random process of leader selection. So ask yourself: 'Am I allowing less talented people to make decisions on my behalf?' If the answer is 'yes', then perhaps you should consider stepping up to the plate yourself. The first step in this process is building up your own self confidence and self esteem. Don't be bashful; there's nothing selfish about developing your own qualities. A community with a rich selection of potential leaders is, in my view, a secure community.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence development and stress management. He may be contacted via his Confidence Club website http://www.confidenceclub.net

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Geithner likely treasury pick; Clinton 'on track' (AP)

AP - President-elect Barack Obama intends to name Timothy Geithner, president of the New York Federal Reserve, as his treasury secretary to confront the nation's intense economic turmoil, senior Democratic officials said Friday.

Bush rallies China's help on North Korea (AP)

AP - In a last dash of diplomacy, President George W. Bush on Friday sought China's help in pinning down North Korea to keep its shaky promises of nuclear disarmament.

Obama keeps low profile in auto rescue talks (AP)

AP - While President-elect Barack Obama publicly sidelined himself during congressional debate over an auto industry bailout this week, he and his top aides quietly prodded congressional leaders to find a solution to rescue struggling automakers.

Neb. lawmakers OK age limit for safe-haven law (AP)

AP - Gov. Dave Heineman signed into law Friday a bill adding a 30-day age limit to a safe-haven law that allowed 35 children Â— including teenagers as old as 17 Â— to be abandoned at state hospitals. The law, approved hours earlier by the Legislature in a 45-3 vote, goes into effect Saturday, and makes Nebraska the 14th state with a 30-day age cap. It had been the only state with a safe-haven law without an age limit.

Germany drops attempt to ban Scientology (AP)

AP - Germany is dropping its pursuit of a ban on Scientology after finding insufficient evidence of illegal activity, security officials said Friday.

Gates would like to add US forces in Afghanistan (AP)

AP - Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Friday he would like to add significant U.S. forces to the war in Afghanistan before national elections scheduled for next year, and that grim depictions of backsliding in the seven-year-old war are "far too pessimistic."

Fla. teen commits suicide with live Web audience (AP)

AP - A college student committed suicide by taking a drug overdose in front of a live webcam as some computer users egged him on, others tried to talk him out of it, and another messaged OMG in horror when it became clear it was no joke. Some watchers contacted the Web site to notify police, but by the time officers entered Abraham Biggs' home Â— a scene also captured on the Internet Â— it was too late.

Lavish 1,800 year-old bronze chariot unearthed in Bulgaria (AP)

AP - Archaeologists have unearthed an elaborately decorated 1,800-year-old chariot sheathed in bronze at an ancient Thracian tomb in southeastern Bulgaria, the head of the excavation said Friday. "The lavishly ornamented four-wheel chariot dates back to the end of the second century A.D.," Veselin Ignatov told The Associated Press in a telephone interview from the site, near the southeastern village of Karanovo.

Suspect arrested for greasy imprints in Neb. town (AP)

AP - Police have arrested a man suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints on the windows of stores, churches and schools in a small Nebraska town. A 35-year-old man was caught in the act by police early Wednesday morning, Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said Friday. The man hasn't been charged yet, but authorities believe he is the vandal some townsfolk have dubbed the "Butt Bandit."

Knicks set themselves up for 2010 with 2 deals (AP)

AP - The New York Knicks traded Zach Randolph and Jamal Crawford in separate deals Friday, parting with their two top scorers to free up coveted salary-cap space for the summer of 2010. Crawford was sent to Golden State for forward Al Harrington. Hours later, Randolph was shipped to the Los Angeles Clippers along with reserve guard Mardy Collins for Cuttino Mobley and Tim Thomas.

Obama moves to pick Timothy Geithner for Treasury (Reuters)

Reuters - President-elect Barack Obama on Friday moved toward nominating Timothy Geithner as Treasury secretary and charging the respected head of the New York Federal Reserve with helping pull the United States out of an economic nosedive.

Citigroup talking to U.S. government as shares dive: source (Reuters)

Reuters - Citigroup Inc has begun talks with the U.S. government as its plummeting share price raises doubts about the bank's ability to survive, a person familiar with the matter said.

GM cuts output, jets as U.S. demands turnaround plans (Reuters)

Reuters - Detroit automakers began work on turnaround plans demanded by Congress in return for $25 billion in aid as General Motors Corp said it would cut production more and give up two of its controversial corporate jets.

General Motors board weighs bankruptcy option: report (Reuters)

Reuters - The board of directors of embattled U.S. automaker General Motors Corp is considering "all options" including bankruptcy, according to a report on the Wall Street Journal's website late on Friday.

Wall Street stages late rally on Geithner news (Reuters)

Reuters - U.S. stocks stormed higher in a late rally on Friday to cap another volatile week as investors welcomed reports that President-elect Barack Obama has chosen his point person to combat the U.S. economic crisis, instilling confidence about the administration's ability to take action.

U.S. eyes "surge" of over 20,000 for Afghanistan (Reuters)

Reuters - The Pentagon is considering a plan to send more than 20,000 troops to Afghanistan over the next 12 to 18 months to help safeguard elections and quell rising Taliban violence, officials said on Friday.

U.S. Bancorp acquires deposits of failed Downey, PFF (Reuters)

Reuters - U.S. banking regulators seized California banks Downey Savings and Loan and PFF Bank & Trust late Friday as the housing crisis claimed two more victims from the financial crisis.

Suspected U.S. missile strike kills 4 in Pakistan (Reuters)

Reuters - A suspected U.S. drone aircraft fired a missile in the North Waziristan tribal region of Pakistan killing at least four people, according to Pakistani intelligence officials.

Obama readies economic team as global recession fears rise (AFP)

AFP - The economic team of US president-elect Barack Obama came into view as fears mounted on the global financial crisis and more mass job cuts loomed worldwide.

Bush bows out, China assertive at APEC summit (AFP)

AFP - US President George W. Bush began Friday his last scheduled foreign trip, meeting the leader of increasingly important China ahead of a summit aimed at containing a spiraling financial crisis.

Why Self Esteem Matters

Inspirational Inspirational