None of Us Arrived with an Owners Manual: A Fresh Perspective on the Drive to Lead (part 2)

Why didn't I get an Owner's Manual

After a little while with life happening and no sign of the Manual we began to realize we would need to make the best of it. We began to look around to see who had one and studied what they knew, surely some of it must be generic! We began to study our parents, our siblings ? if they looked competent enough, and our other care givers.

They all seemed like gods to our small experience of life, so confident, so able, so talented. Surely they must have a great version of their Owner's Manual! Many of us translated this into a presumption that they had a Manual and it was a wonderful copy, full of talents and abilities. We had our confidence high that we could do it! We could find mastery.

After a while of looking it seemed like everyone big had one. Another doubt crept in, maybe we were the only one who didn't get one. We got secretive about it. Hiding the humiliation, coldness, rejection, betrayal and abandonment deep inside ourselves.

Many of us did such a good job we threw away the key and forgot we ever had such deep and painful doubts about our ability to make it here. Instead we got involved in studying others, working at it and seeking to create a new version of our own. Some of us got so good at this game we forgot why we were doing it; there just remained some deep unrest about who we really are.

Some of us progressed from here and made different conclusions based on our perception of those around us. Some of us looked at our siblings and thought they were a bit spare, maybe they didn't get one either. Maybe it was just our family, all our generation, kids in our neighborhood and so on.

Some of us looked at our parents and thought they got a warped one, however our faith in them and their ability to support us was so great that we willing joined into their pain and shame. We were so driven to work out how to operate here, it was such a primary drive we would do anything to learn.

Crisis is a blessing in disguise.

The strange thing is this was not a real representation of reality. Our hearts are wonderful places of honor, strength and courage. Anyone in an extreme crisis has not needed to doubt the courage of our true nature. Our heroic acts are legendary. The terrorist attacks of recent times bring this home to us. In Bali, ordinary injured Australians did extraordinary things and saved lives. In New York, September 11 brought out an extraordinary unity in this big, fast, hard city. The tradition is older, our heros of the wars; our pioneers of territory, mind, spirit and heart; our popular leaders' values and so the list is infinite.

The question is never what is the value of the human heart, rather it is ? is our heart open? Can we access our greatness or have we become immune, scared or so small we no longer want to go there for fear it won't be OK anymore.

Put aside the falseness of your egoic nature, the part you alone created, apart from your heart. Take up instead your essential nature, who you truly are, and heal the rift in your drive to lead as a beacon, an example, a shining light and a wonder!

This article may be reproduced in printed or web format, provided the resource box below is included.

Rosemary Johnston is a professional corporate and personal coach. Working with executives from some of Australia's largest and most successful companies for over 15 years.

Rosemary's new book, "How To Develop Your Leadership Style and Skills to Take Charge of Your Career and Life" is now available to download at her web site. Read about some of the success Rosemary has had coaching leaders in Australian blue chip companies. http://www.leadershipfirst.com.au

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President-elect Barack Obama makes remarks on the nations economy, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs. Senators from both parties agreed that Congress should do something to stimulate the economy. But Democratic senators emerging from a private meeting of the Senate Finance Committee criticized business and individual tax cuts in Obama's stimulus plan.



Palestinian demonstrators use sling-shots to hurl stones at Israeli soldiers during a demonstration against Israel's military operation in Gaza, in the West Bank village of Bilin, near Ramallah,Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. Israel resumed its Gaza offensive Wednesday after a three-hour lull to allow delivery of humanitarian aid, bombing heavily around suspected smuggling tunnels near the border with Egypt. Despite the heavy fighting, strides appeared to be being made on the diplomatic front with the U.S. throwing its weight behind a deal being brokered by France and Egypt. (AP Photo/Muhammed Muheisen)AP - The U.N. Security Council called for an "immediate" and "durable" cease-fire in Gaza in a resolution Thursday night even as fighting between Israel and Hamas raged — with early morning airstrikes killing seven Palestinians and pushing the death toll to about 760 in the near two-week conflict.



Rep. Jack Franks (D-Woodstock) votes to recommend the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to the House during an Illinois House Impeachment Committee hearing Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, in Springfield, Ill. The committee voted unanimously to recommend impeachment putting the matter before the full house.  (AP Photo/Seth Perlman)AP - A key panel unanimously recommended impeachment for Gov. Rod Blagojevich on Thursday, setting up a vote that could make him the first governor to face such fate in Illinois' sordid political history. Blagojevich should lose his job for abusing power, mismanaging government and committing possible criminal acts, including federal allegations he tried to sell off a U.S. Senate seat, the special committee concluded.



Florida's Tim Tebow (15) throws a pass over Oklahoma's Auston English (33) during the third quarter of the BCS Championship NCAA college football game in Miami, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)AP - Tim Tebow gave Florida the jolt it needed to become a national champion. But all his efforts in a sloppy, choppy BCS championship game likely did little to quiet fans of Utah, Southern California and Texas, all of whom already claimed the top spot.



A sign instructs job seekers at the California Employment Development Department in Sunnyvale, Calif., Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009. The country lost nearly 2 million jobs through November and more bad news is expected this week when the government releases data on weekly jobless claims and December unemployment. No matter how bad those numbers are, and economists expect at least another 500,000 jobs were lost last month, the pain is stretching into 2009.  (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)AP - Trying to survive a deepening recession, employers are cutting their work forces to the bone, leaving more Americans unemployed and with dim prospects of finding a new job any time soon.



Neel Kashkari, the assistant treasury secretary in charge of the bailout program, speaks at the Brookings Institution in Washington, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)AP - Less than a month after its first report, a congressional panel overseeing the Treasury Department's $700 billion financial bailout is demanding more answers.



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Ashley Albert (L) and Yezan Abdul Fattah (R) sit in the Apache helicopter flight simulator at the U.S. Army Experience center at the Franklin Mills mall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, January 7, 2009. The U.S. Army, struggling to ensure it has enough manpower as it fights wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, is wooing young Americans with video games, Google maps and simulated attacks on enemy positions from an Apache helicopter. Departing from the recruiting environment of metal tables and uniformed soldiers in a drab military building, the Army has invested $12 million in a facility that looks like a cross between a hotel lobby and a video arcade. Picture taken January 7, 2009. REUTERS/Tim Shaffer (UNITED STATES)AP - U.S. policy to win in Afghanistan must recognize the poor nation's limitations and its neighborhood, especially its intertwined relationship with U.S. terrorism-fighting ally Pakistan, the top U.S. military commander in the region said Thursday.



Vice President Dick Cheney pauses during an interview with the Associated Press at the White House in Washington Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)AP - Vice President Dick Cheney said Thursday that he sees no reason for President George W. Bush to pre-emptively pardon anyone at the CIA involved in harsh interrogations of suspected terrorists. "I don't have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal," he said.



The east side apartment building where Bernard Madoff remains under house arrest is seen Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, in New York. Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month. (AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)AP - Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month in what is alleged to be largest financial fraud in history.



Palestinian women mourn as they watch the funeral of Palestinians killed at a U.N. school, in Jabalya in the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009. (Mohammed Salem/Reuters)Reuters - Israel pushed ahead with its offensive in the Gaza Strip on Friday, ignoring a U.N. Security Council resolution calling for an immediate ceasefire to the 14-day-old conflict.



People taking the Long Island Foreclosure Tour arrive at a foreclosed home for sale in New Hyde Park, New York in this May 17, 2008 file photo. Citigroup could soon agree to principles that would let troubled borrowers save their homes through bankruptcy, sources familiar with the talks said on Thursday, while industry groups are easing their opposition to the plan. (Shannon Stapleton/Reuters)Reuters - Financial giant Citigroup Inc will support a proposal in Congress to rewrite U.S. bankruptcy law to help troubled mortgage borrowers avoid foreclosure, Chief Executive Vikram Pandit said on Thursday.



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Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich gestures as he announces former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris as his choice to fill the vacant U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama during a news conference in Chicago, Illinois December 30, 2008. (Frank Polich/Reuters)Reuters - A legislative committee on Thursday recommended the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, citing widespread abuse of power including allegations he tried to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.



Usama al-Kini, Al Qaeda's operations chief in Pakistan, is pictured in this undated FBI Most Wanted photograph. Al-Kini, also known as Fahid Mohammed Ally Msalam, and a top aide are believed to be dead, a U.S. counterterrorism official said on January 8, 2009, in what appeared to be the latest results of a campaign targeting the militant group's leadership. Operations chief al-Kini was thought responsible for attacks, including the bombing of a Marriott hotel in Islamabad that killed 55 people in September, and an unsuccessful attempt to kill former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, who was later assassinated in a separate attack, the official said. (FBI/Handout/Reuters)Reuters - Al Qaeda's operations chief in Pakistan and a top aide are believed to be dead, a U.S. counterterrorism official said on Thursday, in what appeared to be the latest results of a campaign targeting the militant group's leadership.



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A man works near a pressure gauge at a district heating plant in Skopje January 8, 2009. (Ognen Teofilovski/Reuters)Reuters - Europe on Friday looked for a swift restoration of gas supplies, after striking a deal with Moscow on monitoring gas shipments via Ukraine that have been halted by a rancorous pricing dispute with Kiev.



U.S. General David Petraeus, the commander overseeing military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, talks during a conference in Rome December 9, 2008. (Tony Gentile/Reuters)Reuters - The United States and its allies share some interests with Iran when it comes to stabilizing Afghanistan, Army Gen. David Petraeus, head of the U.S. military's Central Command, said on Thursday.



An Israeli army tank takes position on a hill at the border between Israel and the northern Gaza Strip on January 8, 2009. Israel was under intense pressure Friday to end its two-week-old offensive in the Gaza Strip after the UN Security Council called for an immediate ceasefire as the death toll from the war rose past 760.(AFP/David Buimovitch)AFP - Israel was under intense pressure Friday to end its two-week-old offensive in the Gaza Strip after the UN Security Council called for an immediate ceasefire as the death toll from the war rose past 760.



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