People or Objects? - - You Decide

Home
>
Leadership
>
People or Objects? - - You Decide

People or Objects? - - You Decide

"How you think determines how you act. How you act, in turn, determines how others react to you."

- David J. Schwartz ? The Magic of Thinking Big

"?no matter what we're doing on the outside, people respond primarily to how we're feeling about them on the inside."

- The Arbinger Institute ? Leadership and Self-Deception

Becoming a great leader requires people to behave in rather unnatural ways. Most people will focus on their personal needs ahead of the needs of others. One of the paradoxes of leadership states that we get our personal needs met by first considering the interests of the people we lead.

Virtually anyone who has ever heard me speak has heard me use the following quote from John Maxwell ? "Leadership is influence. That's it. Nothing more; nothing less." Using this quotation as the starting point for discussions on leadership naturally forces the discussion away from questions of control and towards questions of influence. The American Heritage Dictionary defines control and influence as:

Control ? to exercise authority or dominating influence over; direct; regulate

Influence ? a power indirectly or intangibly affecting a person or course of events

Based on the Maxwell definition of leadership, great leaders rely on indirect and intangible methods rather than on direct and dominating behaviors to move their organizations forward. The desire to learn these "indirect" and "intangible" methods often leads people to study "people skills" and "influence strategies" in their efforts to grow as leaders. While I fully support the development and understanding of these skills and strategies, I also recommend that we take it one step further. I recommend that we go beyond the external behaviors and address the foundational thinking that supports them.

When I work with another person and I try to "get them to do things" or to "motivate them to work harder", I have slipped into thinking of the person as an object. They have ceased to be a person with wants, needs, and desires. They have become something to move to my will rather than someone to understand.

If I view them as an object, they will probably pick-up on my thinking and react accordingly. They will most likely view my efforts to "influence" them as manipulative. If they see me as trying to manipulate them, they will probably resist ? even if only subtly. If they resist, I will probably try some other "influence tactic" to "get them to do things." Thus the cycle repeats.

If I see them as a person, and then work to understand their perspective before acting; I stand a better chance of positively influencing their behavior. When they sense that I understand them, they are less likely to resist and more likely to cooperate. Now we have an upward, cooperative cycle in our relationship.

Can I guarantee cooperative effort from every person when I use this approach to leadership? No. But I can guarantee that people will eventually see my "influence tactics" as manipulative if I don't first try to understand them and their needs.

I can't control how another person will react to me. I can only control me. I can work to put the relationship odds in my favor by forcing myself to view them as a person, not as an object. Rather than trying to "get them to do things", I can work to "help them see the value in this activity". The shift in thinking is small, but the impact on results is huge. Just as a small part like a rudder can steer a large ship, a small thing like a thought can steer a relationship.

Decide to be a person among people, not the person among objects.

You may use this article for electronic distribution if you will include all contact information with live links back to the author. Notification of use is not required, but I would appreciate it. Please contact the author prior to use in printed media.

Guy Harris is a Relationship Repairman and People-Process Integrator. His background includes service as a US Navy Submarine Officer, functional management with major multi-national corporations, and senior management in an international chemical business. As the owner of Principle Driven Consulting, he helps entrepreneurs, business managers, and other organizational leaders improve team performance by applying the principles of human behavior.

Guy co-authored "The Behavior Bucks System(tm)" to help parents reduce stress and conflict with their children by effectively applying behavioral principles in the home. Learn more about this book at http://www.behaviorbucks.com

Learn more about Guy at http://www.principledriven.com

In The News:

Yahoo! News: Top Stories

Democrats criticize Obama's proposed tax cuts (AP)

AP - President-elect Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts ran into opposition Thursday from senators in his own party who said they wouldn't do much to stimulate the economy or create jobs. Senators from both parties agreed that Congress should do something to stimulate the economy. But Democratic senators emerging from a private meeting of the Senate Finance Committee criticized business and individual tax cuts in Obama's stimulus plan.

UN Security Council calls for immediate Gaza truce (AP)

AP - The U.N. Security Council called for an "immediate" and "durable" cease-fire in Gaza in a resolution Thursday night even as fighting between Israel and Hamas raged with early morning airstrikes killing seven Palestinians and pushing the death toll to about 760 in the near two-week conflict.

Key panel recommends impeaching Ill. governor (AP)

AP - A key panel unanimously recommended impeachment for Gov. Rod Blagojevich on Thursday, setting up a vote that could make him the first governor to face such fate in Illinois' sordid political history. Blagojevich should lose his job for abusing power, mismanaging government and committing possible criminal acts, including federal allegations he tried to sell off a U.S. Senate seat, the special committee concluded.

Mini Dynasty: Tebow leads Gators past Oklahoma (AP)

AP - Tim Tebow gave Florida the jolt it needed to become a national champion. But all his efforts in a sloppy, choppy BCS championship game likely did little to quiet fans of Utah, Southern California and Texas, all of whom already claimed the top spot.

Job losses stack up as recession deepens (AP)

AP - Trying to survive a deepening recession, employers are cutting their work forces to the bone, leaving more Americans unemployed and with dim prospects of finding a new job any time soon.

Oversight panel wants better answers from Treasury (AP)

AP - Less than a month after its first report, a congressional panel overseeing the Treasury Department's $700 billion financial bailout is demanding more answers.

Critics' final answer: `Slumdog' wins 5 awards (AP)

AP - The critics have spoken, and "Slumdog Millionaire" is their final answer.

Petraeus: Afghan, Pakistan problems are really one (AP)

AP - U.S. policy to win in Afghanistan must recognize the poor nation's limitations and its neighborhood, especially its intertwined relationship with U.S. terrorism-fighting ally Pakistan, the top U.S. military commander in the region said Thursday.

Cheney: CIA did nothing illegal in interrogations (AP)

AP - Vice President Dick Cheney said Thursday that he sees no reason for President George W. Bush to pre-emptively pardon anyone at the CIA involved in harsh interrogations of suspected terrorists. "I don't have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal," he said.

Prosecutors: Madoff was ready to send out $173M (AP)

AP - Prosecutors said Thursday that investigators found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff's office desk that he was ready to send out to his closest family and friends at the time of his arrest last month in what is alleged to be largest financial fraud in history.

U.N. calls for immediate Gaza truce (Reuters)

Reuters - Israel pushed ahead with its offensive in the Gaza Strip on Friday, ignoring a U.N. Security Council resolution calling for an immediate ceasefire to the 14-day-old conflict.

Citi backs measure to help avoid foreclosures (Reuters)

Reuters - Financial giant Citigroup Inc will support a proposal in Congress to rewrite U.S. bankruptcy law to help troubled mortgage borrowers avoid foreclosure, Chief Executive Vikram Pandit said on Thursday.

Panel steps up criticism of Treasury over TARP: report (Reuters)

Reuters - A report being released on Friday alleges that the U.S. Treasury has failed to reveal its strategy for stabilizing the financial system, not answered questions asked by a government watchdog, and has done nothing to help struggling homeowners, the Wall Street Journal said.

Illinois panel recommends governor's impeachment (Reuters)

Reuters - A legislative committee on Thursday recommended the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, citing widespread abuse of power including allegations he tried to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.

Qaeda Pakistan leader believed dead: U.S. official (Reuters)

Reuters - Al Qaeda's operations chief in Pakistan and a top aide are believed to be dead, a U.S. counterterrorism official said on Thursday, in what appeared to be the latest results of a campaign targeting the militant group's leadership.

Accused swindler Madoff "warm and charming": report (Reuters)

Reuters - Some friends of accused swindler Bernard Madoff considered him a "warm and charming" man, and one of his alleged victims praised him just before his death in 2005, Fox Business Network reported on Thursday.

EU seeks gas supply return after deal on monitors (Reuters)

Reuters - Europe on Friday looked for a swift restoration of gas supplies, after striking a deal with Moscow on monitoring gas shipments via Ukraine that have been halted by a rancorous pricing dispute with Kiev.

U.S., Iran share interests in Afghanistan: Petraeus (Reuters)

Reuters - The United States and its allies share some interests with Iran when it comes to stabilizing Afghanistan, Army Gen. David Petraeus, head of the U.S. military's Central Command, said on Thursday.

UN Security Council urges immediate Gaza ceasefire (AFP)

AFP - Israel was under intense pressure Friday to end its two-week-old offensive in the Gaza Strip after the UN Security Council called for an immediate ceasefire as the death toll from the war rose past 760.

Progress in resolving gas row as Russia agrees to monitors (AFP)

AFP - Hopes for a quick resumption of Russian gas supplies to Europe were rising Friday after Russia agreed on the terms for the deployment of monitors in Ukraine.

People or Objects? - - You Decide

Leadership Leadership