The Seven Cs: Partnership Danger Signs - Competitive, Not Complementary Action

A series of articles exploring the seven critical areas that can indicate a partnership is in trouble.

Competitive, Not Complementary Action

James Carville and Mary Matlin are public relations spokespeople for the Democratic and Republican parties, respectively. They are each articulate, sharp and feisty. Sparks fly when they debate in favor of their parties, so much so that they seem like arch enemies who couldn't possibly exchange a friendly word. I remember the shock reaction I had (how many years ago was it?) hearing that they were getting married. I pictured a contentious loud fighting household.

Recently I saw the two of them on television talking about their private lives. One never knows for sure the truth about public figures or anyone else for that matter, but if taken at face value, they have a solid marriage, children and good family life. They displayed mellowness, respect and total togetherness. It was obvious that the party competitiveness was left outside of the house and what was brought inside was love, goal sharing, and family first.

Businesses run by partners are very much like marriages. If the partners are in competition with each other they are creating a lot of damage. First of all, their relationship is limited because there cannot be complete openness between competitors. The ultimate goal of the success of the business is undermined and lost in the morass of the need to win over each other. If the competition is obvious to others and it usually is, it creates a situation of two camps where employees, directors and suppliers choose sides.

If the business is comprised of family members, the situation can be even more intense and damaging because the negative effects permeate to personal lives and to family members who may not even be directly involved in the business.

As a coach, I help the partners focus on their goal for the business by examining the harm caused by destructive self centered behavior. The need to compete and win sometimes is an unresolved need to play out old family patterns even if the partners are not members of the same family.

The goal of coaching is not to heal old patterns, but rather to contain them and to create new patterns of satisfaction that directly relate to business success. If the situation is so entrenched, therapy may be recommended as part of the solution. However, usually coaching techniques which direct the parties to clarify and satisfy needs in productive ways in order to focus on the business, such as Carville and Matlin focus on their marriage, is the usual path that can be implemented.

About The Author

Dorene Lehavi, Ph.D. is principal of Next Level Business and Professional Coaching. She coaches Professionals and Business Partners and teaches teleclasses on techniques to break through barriers to the next level. Dr. Lehavi offers a complimentary coaching session so you can experience how coaching can work for you. Contact Dr. Lehavi at Dorene@CoachingforYourNextLevel.com or on the web at Http://www.CoachingforYourNextLevel.com. Subscribe to Mastering Your Next Level monthly e-newsletter at http://www.coachingforyournextlevel.com/newsletter.html

dorene@nextlevelpartnership.com

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A sign instructs job seekers at the California Employment Development Department in Sunnyvale, Calif., Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009. The country lost nearly 2 million jobs through November and more bad news is expected this week when the government releases data on weekly jobless claims and December unemployment. No matter how bad those numbers are, and economists expect at least another 500,000 jobs were lost last month, the pain is stretching into 2009.  (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)AP - Trying to survive a deepening recession, employers are cutting their work forces to the bone, leaving more Americans unemployed and with dim prospects of finding a new job any time soon.



Rep. Roger L. Eddy, right, votes to recommend the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to the House during an Illinois House Impeachment Committee hearing Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, in Springfield, Ill. The committee voted unanimously to recommend impeachment putting the matter before the full house.  (AP Photo/Seth Perlman)AP - Gov. Rod Blagojevich faces almost certain impeachment by the Illinois House, a historic step that would trigger a trial to determine whether the Democratic governor should be tossed out of office.



President-elect Barack Obama arrives to speak about the economy, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009, at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)AP - Lawmakers are under orders to finish action on President-elect Barack Obama's nearly $800 billion economic recovery plan by mid-February. But already it is plain that a set of serious fissures need to be bridged if the bill is to be completed within five weeks.



Palestinians survey a kindergarten destroyed after an Israeli air strike in Gaza January 8, 2009. (Mohammed Salem/Reuters)AP - Israeli jets and helicopters bombarded Gaza Friday and Hamas responded with a barrage of rockets, as Israel's government said it will press forward with its offensive despite a U.N. resolution calling for an immediate cease-fire.



In this Jan. 29, 2002 file photo, then Admiral Dennis Blair, center, commander-in-chief of the United States Pacific Command, reviews a guard of honor at the Singapore Ministry of Defense headquarters.     (AP Photo/Naashon Zalk)AP - President-elect Barack Obama is completing his national security team by announcing his unusual choices for CIA director and a national intelligence director who may face tough Senate confirmation questioning over how he confronted the Indonesian military when civilian massacres were occurring in East Timor.



Traders gather at the post that handles Wal-Mart on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009 (AP Photo/Richard Drew)AP - Investors showed nervousness Friday ahead of the government's monthly employment report, sending stock futures moderately lower.



Pay Equity pioneer Lily Ledbetter addresses the Democratic National Convention in Denver, Tuesday, Aug. 26, 2008 file photo. Democrats are ushering in what they believe will be a new labor-friendly era in Washington with House votes on two bills aimed at helping women fight pay discrimination in the workplace. The House was to vote on the bills Friday Jan. 9, 2009, and they could reach Barack Obama's desk soon after he enters the White House.  One of the bills, the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, is a response to a 2007 Supreme Court decision that made it more difficult to sue over past pay discrimination.  (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds, FILE)AP - Democrats are ushering in what they believe will be a new labor-friendly era in Washington with House votes on two bills aimed at helping women fight pay discrimination in the workplace.



An LG cell phone shows live TV during a demonstration at an OMVC news conference at the International Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas,Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)AP - TV stations in 22 U.S. cities announced Thursday that they will start broadcasting their signals this year in a format designed to be received by mobile devices like cell phones, MP3 players, GPS units and in-car entertainment systems.



AP - A former actor on "The Sopranos" faces up to 15 years in prison for a botched burglary in the Bronx in which an accomplice shot and killed a police officer.

Florida's Tim Tebow (15) throws a pass over Oklahoma's Auston English (33) during the third quarter of the BCS Championship NCAA college football game in Miami, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)AP - Tim Tebow gave Florida the jolt it needed, and the Gators toughed out a second BCS title in three years. Their 24-14 win over No. 2 Oklahoma in a choppy, sloppy affair Thursday night made them a national champion.



Jaclyn Holt (R) fills out an application form at a job fair organized by the New Hampshire Employment Security agency in Salem, New Hampshire December 17, 2008. (Brian Snyder/Reuters)Reuters - Steep falls in European industrial output underlined the severity of the world economic crisis on Friday and more grim news was on the way with the United States expected to report the biggest monthly job cuts in more than 30 years.



An Israeli soldier stands atop a vehicle after crossing into Israel from the northern Gaza Strip January 7, 2009. (Amir Cohen/Reuters)Reuters - Israel pushed ahead with its two-week-old offensive in the Gaza Strip on Friday, defying a U.N. Security Council resolution calling for an immediate ceasefire.



Reuters - A report being released on Friday alleges that the U.S. Treasury has failed to reveal its strategy for stabilizing the financial system, not answered questions asked by a government watchdog, and has done nothing to help struggling homeowners, the Wall Street Journal said.

President-elect Barack Obama (L) leaves the podium with Timothy Geithner, president of the New York Federal Reserve Bank, after announcing that he will become Treasury Secretary during a news conference in Chicago, November 24, 2008. (John Gress/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. President-elect Barack Obama's economic team is working on an overhaul the $700 billion financial rescue program with the aim of doing more to spur the flow of credit to the struggling economy, an Obama aide said on Friday.



A pressure gauge is seen at a Ukrainian gas compressor station in the village of Boyarka near Kiev January 9, 2009 (Konstantin Chernichkin - UKRAINE/Reuters)Reuters - Russia's state-controlled gas monopoly said a deal to monitor gas exports via Ukraine would be signed on Friday, allowing for the resumption of supplies to Europe cut off by Moscow's price row with Kiev.



People taking the Long Island Foreclosure Tour arrive at a foreclosed home for sale in New Hyde Park, New York in this May 17, 2008 file photo. Citigroup could soon agree to principles that would let troubled borrowers save their homes through bankruptcy, sources familiar with the talks said on Thursday, while industry groups are easing their opposition to the plan. (Shannon Stapleton/Reuters)Reuters - Financial giant Citigroup Inc will support a proposal in Congress to rewrite U.S. bankruptcy law to help troubled mortgage borrowers avoid foreclosure, Chief Executive Vikram Pandit said on Thursday.



Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich gestures as he announces former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris as his choice to fill the vacant U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama during a news conference in Chicago, Illinois December 30, 2008. (Frank Polich/Reuters)Reuters - A legislative committee on Thursday recommended the impeachment of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, citing widespread abuse of power including allegations he tried to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.



A doctor checks the blood pressure of a patient at the J.W.C.H. safety-net clinic in the center of skid row in downtown Los Angeles July 30, 2007. (Lucy Nicholson/Reuters)Reuters - An analysis of proposals to overhaul U.S. health care by President-elect Barack Obama and members of Congress suggests it is possible to insure all Americans without significantly raising total health spending.



US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speaks to an unidentified aide during a Security Council meeting at the United Nations. Israel has battered Gaza with bombs and shells, vowing its offensive on Hamas would go on despite an order by the UN Security Council to stop the assault that has killed hundreds of civilians.(AFP/File/Timothy A. Clary)AFP - Israel battered Gaza with bombs and shells on Friday, vowing its offensive on Hamas would go on despite an order by the UN Security Council to stop the assault that has killed hundreds of civilians.



A man carries firewood in the suburbs of Sofia, Bulgaria. Russian gas deliveries to Europe could resume, the head of Russia's state gas firm said, raising hopes for an end to a transit dispute with Ukraine that has left several European states without gas at a moment of bitter cold.(AFP/Dimitar Dilkoff)AFP - Russian gas deliveries to Europe could resume later Friday, the head of Russia's state gas firm said, raising hopes for an end to a transit dispute with Ukraine that has left several European states without gas at a moment of bitter cold.




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