Computer Geeks and Garden Gnomes

First and foremost before I begin my ranting it is worth mentioning that there are many very helpful and considerate people out there in the cyber wilderness who devote much of their time to providing open source and free scripts of all variations from PHP, CGI and Java to name but a few. They provide dedicated support, do not insist on payment, and spend much of their free time helping you avoid having to part with your hard earned cash to get free programs and scripts up and running on your websites.

Now, that having been said I have just spent an enlightening couple of days installing several PHP and CGI scripts, mainly because whilst I have some experience of installations, the only true way to become fast and efficient with all this geeky stuff is to install, de install and test a variety of applications and programs yourself.

After two days and over a hundred scripts I am left drained. Half of the scripts I just dumped immediately due to poor or non-existent documentation and bad layout of files. It amazes me that some quite intricate scripts are left high and dry without any installation documents at all. In other words, the author spent days programming and putting together complicated scripts, to fail miserably on poor or non existent documentation. Aside from this, some sites you visit in order to download this material insist on blitzing you with numerous pop ups ? the end result of which is neither good for the person visiting the website or the website owner. Both part very quickly. Perhaps I am intolerant but any sign of boxes leaping up in the air and blind adverts and I am gone. I know I am not alone.

Add to this the frustration of taking the time to read through endless documents and CGI scripts on websites only to find that when you click on a link for more information or a download you find it is dead, the site under maintenance or what was advertised as free is not actually free. Either that or you go to the extreme of getting a script working only to find the writers advertisement popping up all over the place to the extent it warrants dumping the script. Yes I know you can remove it for a fee but why didn't you tell me that before I installed it?

Even quite clear documentation often omits what is to the writer an obvious requirement but not something that he or she chooses to share with their hapless user ? classic example might be forgetting to mention that an SQL database is needed. Hardly a minor omission.

At the height of one frustrating and particularly badly written install attempt I imagined myself as John Cleese with a garden gnome under my arm hunting for the writer. Anonymity on the internet does has its advantages in this case.

Now, I know you will be cynical and say that most of this is down to the fact that many script writers are hoping you will pay them to install their scripts for you, indeed many do offer installation services. This really is a bad way of advertising your services. There are plenty of people who will have trouble with the easiest installs and if you wrote clear and concise documentation which any user can see is genuinely comprehensive, you are more likely to secure customers as a result of failed installs.

During this laborious exercise we went through scripts of all kinds some of which include; online photo albums, content management systems, member login and authentication scripts, virtual postcards, email programs, hosting scripts, live helper, communication, e commerce, shopping carts, quiz and chat programs to name but a few. We also purchased 3 scripts. Only one of those free scripts was simple to install and marginally better than the free versions available. Paying money does not necessarily mean better service. In fact one photo album provider charging around $30 dollars per script provided bad install information and less than helpful advice, immediately deleting anything that mentioned install problems from his forum.

It has been an experience. If none of this has meant anything to you and you have no idea about scripting or installing scripts then consider yourself fortunate and leave it to the geeks if you are able.

For those of you that regularly dive into scripting for your websites ? here is a useful tip that saved us no end of time and frustration. The minute you come up against bad scripting, bad documentation or difficult to install scripts ? trash them, ditch them and move on. There are plenty of others. Leave the tricky badly written stuff to the real hardcore freaks.

Birmingham UK Com. For some free E Books visit: http://www.birminghamuk.com/shop/upload/.

In The News:

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In this April 22, 2008 file photo, former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, left, followed by current Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell of Ky., right,  smiles on Capitol Hill in Washington.  Democratic officials say Daschle has accepted President-elect Barack Obama's offer to be Secretary of Health and Human Services.  (AP Photo/Susan Walsh, File )AP - President-elect Barack Obama promised the voters change but has started his Cabinet selection process by naming several Washington insiders to top posts.



Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke testifies on Capitol Hill in Washington, Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008 in Washington, before the House Financial Services Committee.  (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)AP - Pounded by a fierce financial crisis, the country is sinking deeper into economic despair and is likely to be in the hole well into next year, forcing more Americans into the ranks of the unemployed.



Auto industry executives, from left, General Motors  Chief Executive Officer Richard Wagoner; Chrysler Chief Executive Officer Robert Nardelli; and Ford Chief Executive Officer Alan Mulally, testify on Capitol Hill in Washington, Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2008, before a House Financial Services Committee hearing on the state of the auto industry.  (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)AP - A plan to give troubled U.S. automakers billions of dollars in government-backed loans is on life support, leaving the fate of hundreds of thousands of workers and Detroit's once-venerable car companies hanging in the balance.



Passers-by watch the electronic stock board of a securities firm in Tokyo Thursday, Nov. 20, 2008. The benchmark Nikkei 225 stock average plunged early in the day and never recovered, finishing down 6.9 percent, or 570.18 points, at 7,703.04. (AP Photo/Shizuo Kambayashi)AP - European and Asian stock markets tumbled Thursday after recession fears sent Wall Street plunging the day before.



A gopher frog sits in the hand of Audubon Zoo curator Nick hanna  in New Orleans, Wednesday, Oct. 1, 2008.  For the first time in 10 years, a pond in south Mississippi got enough rain this year to let gopher frogs, one of the nation's most endangered animals, turn from tadpole to frog without human help.  (AP Photo/Bill Haber)AP - With the Bush administration on the verge of relaxing regulations protecting endangered species, Democratic leaders are looking at ways to overturn any last-minute rule changes.



In this image provided by NASA Astronaut Steve Bowen participates in the mission's first session of extravehicular activity Tuesday Nov. 18, 2008 as construction and maintenance continues on the International Space Station.(AP Photo/NASA)AP - Astronauts vowed to double-check, even triple-check, to make sure a bag of tools is properly tied down during a spacewalk Thursday so it doesn't float away like one did earlier this week.



U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Mike Leavitt speaks at the opening for the new U.S. Food and Drug Administration office in Beijing , China, Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2008.  The U.S. Food and Drug Administration opened a new office Wednesday in China's capital, its first outside the United States, as part of a new global strategy to ensure the safety of trillions of dollars of imports.(AP Photo/ Elizabeth Dalziel)AP - China announced a complete overhaul of its dairy industry Thursday to improve safety at every step — from cow breeding to milk sales — saying its worst food quality scandal in years had revealed "major problems" in quality control.



In a photo provided by The National Book Foundation, National book award winners, from left; Mark Doty, Poetry winner for 'Fire to Fire:New and Collected Poems;'  Annette Gordon-Reed, winner for best Nonfiction book for 'The Hemingses of Monticello:An American Family;' Judy Blundell, winner for Young People's Literature for 'What I Saw and How I LIed;' and Peter Matthiessen, winner for Fiction for 'Shadow Country' pose at The 2008 National Book Awards on Nov.19, 2008 at Cipriani's Wall Street in New York. (AP Photo/Robin Platzer)AP - The economy hung like a cloud over the 59th annual National Book Awards. Barack Obama was the silver lining.



AP - Three male and three female inmates at a southern Indiana jail face charges that they devised a way to sneak between cell blocks to help pass their time behind bars by having sex.

In this Oct. 9, 2008 photo, Dallas Cowboys' Adam 'Pacman' Jones prepares to participate in practice at the Cowboys training facility in Irving, Texas.  Jones' suspension was lifted by the NFL on Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2008,  just over five weeks after the Dallas Cowboys cornerback was banned for another violation of its personal conduct policy.  (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez)AP - The NFL is giving Adam "Pacman" Jones another chance. Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said Wednesday the suspended cornerback has been reinstated by league commissioner Roger Goodell, but he must miss two more games — this Sunday and the following game on Thanksgiving. He'll be back Dec. 7 at Pittsburgh.



A man looks at his bank book in front of a Citibank branch in Taipei November 20, 2008. (Nicky Loh/Reuters)Reuters - Global economic misery spread on Thursday with the Federal Reserve predicting U.S. recession well into 2009, Japan's exports to Asia falling for the first time in six years and job losses mounting.



Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano speaks during closing ceremonies of the 26th Border Governors Conference at Universal Studios in Los Angeles August 15, 2008. (Fred Prouser/Reuters)Reuters - U.S. President-elect Barack Obama's top choice to lead the U.S. Department of Homeland Security is Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano, CNN reported on Wednesday, citing multiple sources.



A pedestrian walks along a side street in Seoul November 20, 2008. (Jo Yong-Hak/Reuters)Reuters - World stocks dropped to 5-1/2 year lows and oil hit 22-month troughs as investors reacted to dire Federal Reserve warnings on the economy and fears about the viability of major U.S. auto makers and bank giant Citigroup.



United Auto Workers (UAW) President Ron Gettelfinger (L) and General Motors CEO Richard Wagoner talk before the start of a hearing about the automotive industry held by the House Financial Services Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington November 19, 2008. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)Reuters - Chances dimmed that a last-minute plan being crafted by Republican senators, with White House support, to provide $25 billion to bail out U.S. automakers would receive enough backing from Democrats to pass before the end of this week.



Reuters - A pact allowing U.S. troops to stay in Iraq for three more years has a chance of being approved by parliament despite some heated opposition, Foreign Minister Hoshiyar Zebari said on Thursday.

Sharon Papo (R) and her partner Amber Weiss display their wedding rings after exchanging wedding vows at City Hall on the first full day of legal same-sex marriages in San Francisco, California June 17, 2008. (Erin Siegal/Reuters)Reuters - California's Supreme Court on Wednesday agreed to hear a legal challenge against the state's voter-approved ban on gay marriage and let the ban stand in the meantime.



A computer keyboard is seen in this 2005 file photo. (Catherine Benson/Files/Reuters)Reuters - A Missouri woman established a fake identity online to torment a vulnerable teenage girl who later committed suicide, federal prosecutors said on Wednesday in a trial that is being closely watched by the burgeoning social networking industry.



A boy stands at the site of suspected U.S. drone attacks in the Janikhel tribal area in Bannu district of North West Frontier Province November 19, 2008. (Stringer/Reuters)Reuters - Pakistan summoned U.S. ambassador Anne Patterson on Thursday to protest over missile strikes launched by pilotless drone aircraft against militant targets in Pakistan.



US auto giant executives wait to testify before the House Finincial Services Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. Fears of an implosion of the US car industry have continued to weigh heavily on investors' minds as the AFP - Governments scrambled to cushion the impact of the finance crisis Thursday with France launching a sovereign wealth fund and China unveiling a jobs protection plan as the car industry made huge new cuts.



A picture taken in 2007 shows the Delight cargo ship anchored in the port of Hamburg, Germany. Somali pirate attacks have spun AFP - Russia announced Thursday it would send more warships to combat piracy in the waters around Somalia, as the Saudi owners of the Sirius Star negotiated with the pirates holding their oil tanker.




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